Today Vs. Yesterday and Tomorrow
I wake up at 9 AM with my whole body pulsing in heat. It's another warm summer day. But for most others it is not. Like my sister they are running to their next classes and figuring out where their next room is. But here I lay awake staring at the cold jungle of wires that seem to pour over furniture leading to monitors, computer hard drives, and gaming systems. I am changing. Getting faster, stronger, more flexible and healthier each and every day. I can feel it.
I think about how a year ago I was at school. Beginning my senior year. Eager and excited and all around pumped to indulge my thirst for knowledge. Today that is not so. I walk out of my room and find myself in the bathroom to see what progress I have accomplished with getting to a more healthier weight. I am 152 pounds. 2 pounds shy of being 20 pounds lighter than when I started the summer. I am for a moment proud of myself for having gotten this far.
Then when I walk out I find the mom come up and welcome me with a list of chores that must be finished before Cat comes home. This irritates me and I am asked why the irritated mood.I have a number of reasons to feel irritated by them right now. I feel like I have been royally screwed over by the positions they have put me in with the deceptions of what was supposed to be happening and what actually is happening. The more annoying thing is that they sometimes like to smother it in my face, and are not open to really see things in my perspective when all the time I look at it in theirs so that I can better communicate to them. That is how I have learned to keep myself out of trouble. I always end up being the one who hears about the fights from both sides.
They don't always like to hear what I have to say about it because they are both in the wrong most of the time. One does not communicate well really at all, and the other loves to misinterpret what the other is saying, and vise versa. Why this happens? I do not know. But it does. To deal with my own internal frustrations and annoyances I conduct physical activity in either running, doing push ups, crunches, etc. When this is not an accessible alternative I always turn to writing and music. Always turning it into something productive instead of destructive.
I will write more later. Gtg.
I think about how a year ago I was at school. Beginning my senior year. Eager and excited and all around pumped to indulge my thirst for knowledge. Today that is not so. I walk out of my room and find myself in the bathroom to see what progress I have accomplished with getting to a more healthier weight. I am 152 pounds. 2 pounds shy of being 20 pounds lighter than when I started the summer. I am for a moment proud of myself for having gotten this far.
Then when I walk out I find the mom come up and welcome me with a list of chores that must be finished before Cat comes home. This irritates me and I am asked why the irritated mood.I have a number of reasons to feel irritated by them right now. I feel like I have been royally screwed over by the positions they have put me in with the deceptions of what was supposed to be happening and what actually is happening. The more annoying thing is that they sometimes like to smother it in my face, and are not open to really see things in my perspective when all the time I look at it in theirs so that I can better communicate to them. That is how I have learned to keep myself out of trouble. I always end up being the one who hears about the fights from both sides.
They don't always like to hear what I have to say about it because they are both in the wrong most of the time. One does not communicate well really at all, and the other loves to misinterpret what the other is saying, and vise versa. Why this happens? I do not know. But it does. To deal with my own internal frustrations and annoyances I conduct physical activity in either running, doing push ups, crunches, etc. When this is not an accessible alternative I always turn to writing and music. Always turning it into something productive instead of destructive.
I will write more later. Gtg.