Stanky on the HangDown
I can feel my mind slipping. Everything is going in slow motion as I grind out yet another day powerless to do anything. I can barely feign interest. This 6 months (now 11, dammit!) was supposed to be my time to evolve myself further, to further my agenda. Nothing gets done. What the fuck is wrong with me? I'm an intelligent beast....why am I unable to accomplish what I set out to? Am I to remain as I am today? I can't live like this, always angry, always questioning myself, it's too much to bear. Do you know what it's like? It's as if I'm stumbling around drunk and I KNOW I'm drunk, but until it wears off, I can't trust myself enough to talk or to act. I'm in a haze, 24/7 and I can't change it, I can't fix it. If it was solid I could smash it to bits with my hands, if it was purely mental I could ignore it, but it's much more complicated than that and it's infuriating to be so useless.....
The only answer is to give up the weak whiny little fuck I was and embrace the promise of what I'm capable of. A creature totally unburdened by morals or laws, a thinking beast that does what it wants when it wants. Urgh. more nuttiness to follow.........
The only answer is to give up the weak whiny little fuck I was and embrace the promise of what I'm capable of. A creature totally unburdened by morals or laws, a thinking beast that does what it wants when it wants. Urgh. more nuttiness to follow.........