I am such a lurker :)
Ok so lurking is snooping in on chatrooms, forums, and blogs without letting your presence be known.. at least thats my definition. just needed to clear that up. :P So I have a habit of wandering about the internet to pass my time away (yes i know i have no life) and i usually end up in the same places after awhile, my livejournal (through which i snoop into everyone elses life :P) the wenches guild forum and a couple of blogger sites. Among the lifejournals i wander through are a few people that i know dont have a clue that i read them. ive been tempted a time or two to add my thoughts to their commentary but really i like my ambiguous state (i dont care if thats spelt wrong or even if its the wrong word so there) it keeps questions at bay and lets me see into others lives, gives me instight into people in general and others specifically (thats an other hobby of mine.. people watching) Sometimes though i do stumble across a post that makes me feel a little bad... I read one this morning actually that is not helpful to my rather despondant mood (didnt help that i feel somewhat responsible for its contents..) And i want to ask about it but asking can bring up painful memories or bring to mind things perfered in the dark... so i dont and i brood and i wonder... i really wish i could stop acting so stupid about all this... i feel like im acting fourteen or something similar, im almost tweenty... fourteen was not a good time and i really Dont want to go through it again... i think im going to have to disapear again, its safer that way.... (and disapearing means from the lifes of those i might hurt so dont be surprised to see another post)