Living Right Is In the Trying

[reticentric]

Chapter Eleven

“The show is about to start, isn’t it? Or did I get the time wrong?” Crowley grinned and glanced to his expensive gold watch. “Oops looks like I’m an hour or so ahead of schedule. Oh well. At least now I get to chat with all you wonderful people.”

“I don’t think anyone here has anything to say to you.” Dean replied as his hands balled into fists. He didn’t like the look of Crowley’s cronies one bit; he’d been in enough tense situations to know when the shit was about to hit the fan. “And since I’ve been told you’ve seen what everyone here has to offer like a dozen times, I doubt you need to stick around much longer.”

Crowley stared at him thoughtfully. In any other setting he might even have managed to appear unassuming; just some normal guy with a normal yet high paying job. It was the beady eyes that gave him away though. “You know I can respect you Dean. Or I can respect what you’re trying to do. Gabriel’s taken you in and you feel indebted to him-you wanna make your new friend proud.” He motioned to his goons. “You’re the sorta guy who would actually have a bright future working for me. You’d make more than the peanuts and crackerjacks he’s paying you.”

Dean snorted. “No thanks. I like having the use of my limbs at all times.”

Crowley chuckled. “Your loss mate. Is rejecting perfectly good job offers something you have in common with Wingsy? If it’ll make you feel any better my bark is a lot worse than my bite.”

Dean seriously doubted that. “Why don’t you just leave these people alone, man?”

“I thought about it. But it’s hard to walk away from a lucrative business proposition.” He smiled and buttoned up his long overcoat. “I must admit I’ve been waiting for the right chance to entice Castiel to work for me. Yet here we are after years and years of sexual banter with nothing to show for it except flaccid dangly bits. Frankly it kind of depresses me.”

Silence.

“Anyway I am going to be leaving soon for the brighter lights of a real city and I wanted to give Castiel a chance to change his mind.” He gestured to the man in question. “You can even bring your boy toy with you if he promises to behave himself. Like I said I can find something for him to do. Someone will have to clean up afterwards.”

Dean knew that Crowley just wanted to get a rise out of him so he forced himself not to react. It was easier with Castiel’s hand clasping his. Honestly he had no idea how Gabriel and the others had put up with this asshole for so long. Every word out of his mouth was either raunchy or offensive. Sometimes both. Dean wasn’t a prude by any means but this guy made him seem like one.

“Crowley the answer will always be no.” Castiel sighed wearily. “To save yourself the trouble you should just stop coming here. I have no plans to leave Gabriel to work for you, and even if I were going to leave it would be for a normal life. Not one of decadence and ill-repute.”

Crowley tsked him. “Why do you always focus on the amoral aspect of it all? You should be seeing dollar signs right now. I could make you filthy rich in a week.”

“Or just filthy.” Dean grumbled.

“That too.” Crowley leaned against his limo. “Really Castiel? You’re going to what? Run away with this denim wearing moron and get a house with a white picket fence and a little dog? How utterly boring. You’d be better off just staying here, love.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Yes because we all know that you just have Castiel’s best interest at hand. You know what? I’m seriously not in the mood for your particular type of bullshit today. You’re like herpes; just when I think we’ve gotten rid of you up you pop again. I know there is no cure but I’m not against slathering on the ointment again for all its’ worth.” He motioned to Dean. “Can I borrow your phone? I think it’s time we gave the local police a call. They’ll be happy to finally get something to do that doesn’t involve cow tipping.”

“I was really hoping it wouldn’t come down to this.” Crowley snapped his fingers and three of his cronies pulled out black handguns. “Sure a part of me expected it but one does like to be surprised sometimes. Oh well.” He looked to Castiel and Dean stepped in front of him, causing Crowley to chuckle. “How noble but even you can’t catch a bullet, mate.”

Dean glared at him. “You don’t know what the fuck I can do.” Yeah it was a lame comeback but it was all he had. The Impala was too far away so he couldn’t reach the pistols he’d carefully hidden in the boot of the car.

Crowley clasped his hands together. “Well let’s get down to business shall we. My aspirations to turn Castiel into a star haven’t abated but at every turn he has shot me down. Quite annoying really. But now I have a secret weapon.” Smirking he motioned to Dean and his driver Brady stalked over, grabbing Dean’s upper arm to physically drag him in front of Crowley. Like he was having audience with a King or something.

Dean struggled moderately but kept his eyes trained on the guns pointed at his friends. By now everyone was just standing and watching; Ava holding tight to Andy’s arm, Max lurking in the far back with Balthazar, Rufus and Jake flanking Gabriel on either side. “What? You think if you get me to say yes then Cas will just fall in line? Man, you’re as stupid as you are ugly.”

Crowley clapped Dean on the shoulder. “If I had the time I would chastise you for such a remark. But seeing as how I’m on a tight schedule I’ll just tell it to you straight.” His boney fingers dug painfully into the muscle of Dean’s shoulder and Dean grunted, resisting the urge to punch him or knock him away. “For as long as I’ve known Castiel he’s been indifferent to most of what life has to offer. He’s not a vice type of man. Fair enough; there are some straight laced men out there. But I’ve always known one day he’d have a weakness. Something that he’d grow to care about even more than Gabriel and his band of merry miscreants.”

A sinking feeling entered Dean’s stomach and he swallowed hard. “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“You’re too pretty to be playing dumb, Dean.” Crowley said lowly, almost lovingly. “Castiel would play to keep his friends safe but ultimately it would be rather hollow. For you on the other hand I’m certain he’d go all in.”

“You son of a bitch.” Dean growled. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh?” Crowley nodded and took a few steps back. “Let’s test that theory shall we? Raymond, if you would be so kind.”

Raymond was tall and graying but built like a brick chicken house and dressed like a member of the Secret Service. He stalked up to Dean and without a word, backhanded him so hard across the face that his teeth rattled, tearing open a small cut on Dean’s cheek with his ring. Dean grunted and threw a punch of his own only to find it blocked by a beefy arm. Raymond-expressionless-socked him roughly in the stomach and he doubled over, coughing, his body still a little tender from the fight with Virgil.

“Crowley, stop this.” Castiel demanded. “Leave Dean alone.”

“Oh I will sweetheart. As soon as you agree to come with me.” Crowley gestured to his limo.

“Fuck that.” Dean straightened slowly. “He’s not going anywhere with you. “

“Damn straight.” Jake muttered, cracking his knuckles.

“I’m sorry. Am I the only one who actually notices the guns?” Crowley pointed to his men. “Trust me when I say they will shoot to kill! None of you are worth a fraction of what Castiel is worth. Don’t mistake my flippancy in dealing with you in the past for anything other than nonchalance. That is how little you mean to me.” He smiled at Castiel. “Now, where were we?”

Castiel’s lips thinned and Crowley huffed with impatience. “Alright then. I’ll make this easy for you. Boys, make this easy for Castiel.”

Dean had been in several fights in his twenty-three years of being alive. Nothing too huge but Sam had had a mouth on him back in the day that wrote checks his ass couldn’t always cash, so Dean did the cashing for him. Usually just being older did the trick but some guys wanted to test him anyway and Dean wasn’t the sort of person who backed down from a challenge. And there was one time he’d punched some asshole for grabbing Carmen’s ass in a nightclub and then had to fight his sensitive friend. But it’d been nothing that left him too banged up. Even the fight with Virgil-while rough-hadn’t done any lasting damage.

He knew immediately as the three men without guns advanced on him that he wouldn’t be able to boast the same anymore. They, including Raymond, jumped on him like a pack of jackals with rock hard fists and steel-toed boots. He swung out and connected with flesh but they were bigger and a damn sight angrier. Raymond seemed to be taking out all of his repressed rage on Dean, hitting him wherever he could reach. He snarled when Dean slit his lip with an effective punch and had the other two men hold Dean still by each arm so that he could hit him over and over again. In the face, the chest, the stomach; even going so far as to sweep his legs from under him so that he could knee Dean in the eye. He socked Dean in the side and something cracked, and Dean cried out in pain.

Dean’s head swam dangerously but he forced himself to remain conscious. He spat out blood and tried to focus on the muffled voices he was hearing. He knew they weren’t saying anything good, they were too frantic and too loud. Like everyone was talking at once.

“I said stop it!” Castiel shouted after Raymond had struck Dean in the face again. “Please Crowley, call them off. I’ll-I’ll go with you. I’ll do whatever you want.”

“Castiel!” Balthazar gasped. “You can’t!”

“Think about what you’re saying!” Gabriel pleaded.

Fuck. “Cas.” Dean rasped. “No.”

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Crowley sounded amused.

Blood leaked into Dean’s left eye as he was dropped unceremoniously to the ground like a sack of rotten potatoes. His body wanted to curl in on itself but he clawed at the mud, gritting his teeth and willing everything to just go numb. He wheezed for breath and reached for Castiel with a shaky hand, watching as Brady shoved him towards the sleek limo. “No! Cas, don’t! Fuck Crowley! Don’t do this. Please.”

Not for me. Never for me. Please, please, please. Not worth it. I’m not worth it.

Castiel didn’t say anything. He just offered up a small tentative smile and let himself be pushed into the vehicle. Dean roared and lunged at Crowley with all the remaining strength he had only to be yanked back to the ground by the collar of his shirt to squelch in the wet dirt.

Crowley grinned at him. “Pleasure doing business with you.”

The last thing Dean saw was Crowley winking at him before a gun handle to the back of the head plunged him into darkness.

~*~

Crowley’s home in Nebraska wasn’t large or flashy but it was obviously fitted for his level of comfort. He was the type of person to fit a two story farmhouse with expensive rugs and vintage furniture just because he could. Castiel wasn’t surprised that the room Brady showed him to was more un-needed opulence complete with a giant four post bed and a dark wooded vanity. He idly found himself wondering if Jeremy and his gift had helped to pay for any of these meaninglessly belongings before he was murdered.

Sitting on the plush red chaise lounge he noted the bars on the windows curiously. Was it possible that this room had been decorated with him in mind from the very beginning? Naturally with Crowley all things were possible. He was certain that whatever lay in store for him would not be good. Most likely he was going to be prostituted out to the highest payer. He could refuse but he had no doubt that Crowley would continue to use Dean against him. That he would threaten his safety once again if he tried to escape or reject his would be suitors.

Dean.

The decision to sacrifice himself to Crowley for Dean had been an easy one. The moment Raymond struck Dean the words were flying out of his mouth with more determination than he’d ever experienced before. It was as if he was feeling each punch and each kick; he’d wanted nothing more than to cover Dean with his body to keep him from being hurt. His stubborn, flawed Dean who would have gladly been beaten to death if it meant Castiel continued to be free to live his life as he pleased. Half because he wanted Castiel to be safe and half because he just thought so little of himself.

It hurt Castiel to his core to leave Dean bloody and in pain on the cold ground but he hadn’t had any other choice. There was no way he was going to let Crowley hurt him anymore than he already had. Yet he knew that whenever Dean woke up he would ultimately blame himself for everything even though nothing was his fault. Yes Crowley used Dean and their relationship to push Castiel’s hand, but if not Dean then someone else eventually because that is how Crowley operated. When he couldn’t get what he wanted with his empty charm and promises of wealth, he showed his true horrific colors. Castiel seriously hoped that Gabriel would explain this to Dean so that he wouldn’t worry himself to death.

It would be a lie to say that he was not concerned for his own well-being in addition to Dean’s. People were often cruel and he was certain that he would encounter a few if Crowley forced him to “work” for him for a long time. The thought of strangers touching him and his wings nearly made him physically ill but he would endure it for Dean because Dean would do the same for him. He hoped that one day Dean would realize that he was worth everything even if he never got to see him again. Logically Crowley would probably make sure of that.

At least he had a score of fond memories to get him through the next few days.

He heard a key being turned in the lock from outside and looked up as Crowley strolled into the room sans overcoat. He closed the door behind him and pretended to rake dust off the gold trimmed mantle over the fireplace. “So, how are you finding your new accommodations? I know it’s not a rundown little trailer but it has all of the necessities one might need.” When Castiel didn’t reply, he pouted. “Oh buck up, mate. Pretty soon you’re going to have to greet people with a smile, might as well start now.”

Castiel exhaled deeply. “You can keep me here Crowley but you can’t control my emotions.”

“Fair enough.” Crowley shrugged and moved over to an assortment of liqueurs on a table in fancy bottles. “And we won’t be staying here for long. Think of this as a layover before bigger and better things. New York. Las Vegas. Promotion will be the key.”

“And you will leave Dean alone?”

“As long as you behave, yes. We have a deal.”

Castiel shook his head. “A deal implies some sort of trust and I will never trust you. But if Dean remains safe I will continue to…work for you.”

Crowley snickered. “You say it like it’s a bad thing. I’d think after the slap and tickle Dean gave you last night you’d be more willing to explore other avenues.” At Castiel’s slightly surprised expression, he grinned. “Ah yes I do know about that. The love bites on your neck kind of gave it away. Not to mention the goo goo eyes you two were making at each other. I’d congratulate you if it didn’t put a crimp in my marketing plans.”

Castiel bristled; he hated that Crowley could make light of such an important moment in his life. “Excuse me?”

Crowley sipped his alcohol. “You have wings Castiel. Wings equals angel and angel equals purity. Chastity. Virginity. As fun a time as you undoubtedly had with Dean no one wants sloppy seconds.” He walked over and peered down at Castiel before reaching out to grasp his chin. “You’ll be the eternal virgin and everything else will be our little secret.”

Jerking his face away, Castiel got up and walked over to the window. “You are disgusting.”

“I am a businessman.” Crowley watched him. “If I were disgusting I’d have you myself right now on that fluffy bear skin rug. Don’t think it didn’t cross my mind because it did. I like to sample my products before I put them out into the world but seeing as how you’re supposed to be untouched I’m waving those rights just this once. Maybe after we’ve got a set client list I’ll see what all the fuss is about.”

Nausea rolled Castiel’s stomach and he swallowed thickly. “That I am definitely not looking forward to.”

Crowley laughed and perched on the vacated chaise. “I’m sure right about now you’re questioning whether your bow legged paramour was actually worth sacrificing yourself for. The short answer is no. When he wakes up he’ll probably get himself another pretty boy to spend time with.”

“You don’t know Dean very well.” Castiel said quietly. “I know I made the right choice-he would have done the same for me.”

“Touching.”

“Mock us all you want, Crowley. One day you’ll be old-if someone doesn’t kill you first-and you’ll be all alone. And none of your wealth or fancy things will matter because there will be no one there to share it with. No one that gives a damn about you.”

“If I’m rich enough I’ll be able to pay someone to give a damn about me. And you my little angel and what I’m sure are rather delectable assets are going to make me very, very rich.”

Silence.

“You know I had wanted you to be dressed properly before your first client.” Crowley frowned. “I do have a certain image to uphold. When we get back to the real world I’m taking you shopping.”

Castiel’s eyes narrowed at the thought of having to throw away Dean’s shirt. Then he remembered that he had basically nothing here. All of his belongings were back in his trailer and he highly doubted Crowley would let him return to get anything. “What about my things?”

“Make a list and I’ll have Brady fetch them.” Crowley replied casually. His cell phone rung and he answered it, a wide grin breaking across his face. “Ah. The guest of honor has arrived.”

Castiel arched a brow. “I was under the impression that I was the guest of honor.”

Getting up, Crowley waltzed over to the door and places his hand on the knob. “No dear. You’re the entertainment. Granted I wanted you to look better but your first gentleman caller apparently doesn’t give a toss about that sort of thing. Said he’d take you as is. Especially because of the wings.”

A spike of fear jolted Castiel’s spine and his face paled. He knew what would happen eventually but this soon? He’d been here an hour at the most. Who could Crowley have possibly talked into wanting to sleep with him in so little time? The town was small and while no one would have said anything outright about Castiel’s sexuality, they’re not exactly over the moon about homosexuals. Though he reasoned perhaps they’d just been hiding all this time. It had to be someone he’d met before if they knew about his wings. Some person he’d talked to. That thought twisted needles into his insides and he had the idea to bash in Crowley’s skull and make a run for it.

With Crowley dead there was a good chance Dean would be safe. That they both would be safe.

“No need to be nervous, love. I’m sure you’re a natural.” Crowley smirked and opened the door, waving someone inside.

The tall imposing figure of a man stepped into the room, and Castiel felt his entire body lock up in shock and dismay.

Zachariah smiled warmly at him. “Hello Castiel.”

~*~

“Dean, it’s time to wake up sweetheart. You’ve got important things to do.”

His mother’s voice floated into his ears and he groaned, trying to catch it and hold onto it, to wrap himself up into its’ warmth. “Mom?”

Opening his eyes was a struggle because it felt like his eyelids hurt along with every other part of his body. Pain throbbed within his temples and his sides; the back of his head burning with a knot he could already tell had formed. Everything was blurred and dazed and for a moment he had no idea where he was. He could hear muffled voices talking as if underwater and they weren’t making any sense. Unconsciousness called to him like a siren and he wanted to follow it down again but his mother’s voice whispered that he had to wake up. That there was something very important he needed to do.

Something wet and warm smoothed across his face and he grunted, bringing a trembling clammy hand up to touch his cheek. “Wh-what…”

“I think he’s coming around!” It was a female. Not his mother. “Gabriel!”

Gabriel. Gabriel?

Dean gasped as the name resonated within his brain and the memory of his attack slammed into his chest like a freight train. Cas! Suddenly he didn’t give a fuck about how much he ached or what could be wrong with him. He was forcing his eyes to focus and Ava’s worried face came into view as well as the damp cloth she was using to stroke his forehead.

“Dean?” She said softly. “Can you hear me?”

He inhaled deeply and shifted on the lumpy mattress, cringing when the bones in his side screamed at the movement. Fuck it. He grit his teeth and latched onto Ava’s shoulder, using her as an anchor to help pull himself up first onto his elbows and then into a sitting position. “Where’s Cas?” His voice was wrecked like his vocal chords had been shredded.

“Dean you really should rest.” She replied trying to get him to lie down again. “You have a cracked rib and maybe even a concussion.”

“I’m fine.” He muttered pushing at her hands. “I gotta help Cas.”

He attempted to stand when a heavy hand fell onto his shoulder and pushed him back down. “Calm down, Dean. Okay? Just take a minute to calm down.”

Dean blinked and Gabriel’s face swam into view. “I can’t fucken calm down! That asshole has Cas and it’s my fault! I gotta help him.”

Gabriel nodded slowly. “Dude we’re coming up with a plan to save Castiel. He’s our friend too, remember?” He gestured to Balthazar who leaned silently against the wall. “But…well…you’re in no condition to be doing much of anything. We’re not doctors but Rufus has had a bit of medical training and he said you’ve got a cracked rib-at least-possible concussion not to mention you’re bruised and battered up the wazoo. I know you’ve gotta be in a lot of pain right now.”

And he was but that didn’t mean a damn thing. “I don’t care. I’ll deal with it, alright? Cas is all that matters. So drug me up and let’s go find him. The more time we spend here talking like a bunch of old ladies Crowley could be taking him to God knows where.”

Gabriel shook his head. “No. Look I know where Crowley nests when he’s here okay? They haven’t left yet. But I really don’t think-”

“We should let him come with us.” Balthazar interrupted. “He’s right. We’re wasting time here and obviously you’re not going to talk him out of going. You should go ask Rufus for some of those pills that he takes for his back. They might make Dean functional for the time we need to rescue Castiel.”

Gabriel appeared as if he wanted to argue but relented and threw his hands up into the air. “Fine. But if he keels over and dies you’re explaining it to Castiel. I’m gonna get some guns and see if Jake will come with us.” Shaking his head, he stalked from the trailer with Ava hurrying behind him.

Dean smoothed a hand across his forehead, patting at the tender skin of his temples and nose. He noticed that his waist was wrapped tight, his chest dotted with ugly dark bruises. “Shit.”

“I hope you are up for this.” Balthazar grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and handed it to him. “Crowley may well be expecting us to try to stage some type of coo.”

“I’m fine.” Dean said gruffly, chugging down the water.

Balthazar exhaled, exasperated. “But not one hundred percent. There is a chance you could die and I hardly think that is what Castiel would want.”

“I bet he wants to be shacking up with Crowley even less.” Dean balled his free hand into a fist. “I should have never come here. I should’ve just kept on to California. If I had Cas would be fine. He wouldn’t be-he wouldn’t have gone with Crowley.”

“Crowley is a dick and he has been since the moment I met him. You being here didn’t change that.”

“No, but it gave him the ammunition to finally get Cas. And that’s my fault. Whatever happens to him is my fault.”

Balthazar sat down beside him. “Dean you can’t blame yourself for the evil of others. And even though I have no idea why, Castiel is very fond of you. He couldn’t stand to see you being hurt so he did what he could to stop it. It was his decision to make and he made it. He fully understands that you would have done the same for him.”

Dean swallowed hard. “I’ve fucked up his life. We could get him back but who knows what has already happened? I was out for what? An hour? Do you know what can happen to someone in an hour?” The thought nearly made him physically sick. He’d kill Crowley if he’d hurt Cas. “He’s there because of me and he shouldn’t be. I’m not worth whatever Crowley could be putting him through. He should have let the asshole beat me to death.”

Balthazar glared at him. “Castiel is not some wilting flower that needs to be coddled. He is a fighter and he always has been. No matter what he goes through he will survive because he is amazing and strong.” Pause. “He cares about you Dean; a great deal. It pains me to admit it but it’s true. You’re upset and in pain and I understand, but so help me God if you continue to belittle his sacrifice and obvious love for you I will finish what Crowley started. He went with that weasel because he felt you were worth saving. I have no doubt he would make the same choice over and over again because as a person, he is extraordinary. You wish to make it up to him? Help us rescue him and you can spend the rest of your life kissing his ass.”

“Nice pep talk.” Dean cracked a tiny smile. “It must be serious if you’re trying to make me feel better.”

“Don’t get used to it.” Balthazar smirked. “And it’s more for Cassy.”

“I’d die for him ya know?”

“I know. But you can’t. If he were here he wouldn’t allow it so I won’t either. I won’t let him come back to disappointment.”

Licking his lips, Dean pushed down any feeling that wasn’t about helping Castiel. When Castiel was safe he would have plenty of time to feel like an idiot and think about his next move. There is no way Castiel would want him after this-after being with Crowley. He’d be angry and disgusted and probably wanna beat the shit out of Dean, and Dean would let him. He’d take his licks and then run away with his tail between his legs so that Castiel would never have to see his face again and be reminded of what he went through. But right now he had to be tough and clear headed so that he could get to Crowley and snap his neck. He didn’t care what happened to himself as long as Castiel turned out to be okay.

Hold on, Cas. I’m coming for you.

Chapter Twelve