yep
previous post: ditto. the empty space inside of me is there to stay.
my long-time therapist retired last month. bummed AF about that, but my psychiatrist and primary docs are the same. going to try continuing talk-therapy with the same doc who did my EMDR sessions. those were successful, and she is a pleasant lady. talking with her is going to be both unpleasant and rewarding, because she is good at her job.
my meds have been adjusted, readjusted, and i've tried some herbal formulas. the latter is working okay because i'm not constantly exhausted. acupuncture helps. so i'm putting in the work, and it's getting me through the days. downsized my possessions and threw a lot of crap away.
i play ACNH almost daily, keep my nose in the books, do the schoolwork, go to sleep, wake up. my crew of friends is small, but we all check in regularly and keep each other accountable sometimes just to.... go take a shower and maybe eat a piece of bread or whatever. recently acquired a roommate; she is in the same program at my school and we get along. the cats like her, she's quiet/clean, and she can pay the rent.
beyond that, the world is a mess and i feel deeply alone. everything is dead and flat. managing my mental health is a full-time job that i am very tired of.
i miss jason and no longer enjoy life.