(no subject)
Justin Miller. Hah...
he's cool, caitlin... really cool. I like charlie and all, but man, why couldn't you hook me up with him. Hey.. nevermind. He'd be a really great friend and who needs a boyfriend anyways?
...
starting to wear makeup again.... but i'm still not being noticed. Even when i conform I'm not noticed. and i think thats the problem. Today was early release and we had to eat lunch in the classroom. I had nowhere to sit and i was all alone without food :( aww.. nah just kidding. I had time to read my magazine and i'm am utmost afraid of social contact.
I really hate my third and sixth hour. (smae people in both of those classes) they are all the christian society and its weird to say but they are the 'conformity' rockers. if you know what i mean. they like queen. sure, yeah, but everybody does now. and they are all democratic (except for adam) and all liberal and lets change the world and laugh at pointless things and stuff that is in even though we are building a scene right from under us. They aren't bad people.. i really like them. I just think that they are all the same and i can't help but to think that they may be robots. planted by the aliens so that even the most unconformists will confrom thinking that they can live in a sub-society that seems all too unique but in fact is just the same with different principles and whatnot. Thus is the world anyways. I back off from anything another person shares. and in a way that means that other people are deciding who i am. THough, no matter how 'in' the doors, queen, or some other my other favorite bands/composers/artists get I won't abandon them. I may look at them in a different light.. but i will always be me.
But if anyone ever tries to dance like me or act like me then they are getting their heads ripped off. Its the little things that make me me. I mean anyone can like the doors.. they're a great band. I don't care if i think they're not cool enough to like them. The doors creativity attracts many people because of its ability to change and to be interpereted in many ways. as is most music. So... liking them doesn't mean that its conformity. I can see a whole different side of the doors because of my mind and my way of thinking. same with other listeners. But the way i act. that creativity-that act- is all me. my mind my soul. if anyone can create the same thing and can be broken down in to technical terms than we've got a problem. I'm the spastic one. I'm the shy one (in class) I'm the outspoken one and I'm the one who dnaces strangely. I'm the one who doesn't care what people think. I'm the one whose one all extremes of the personality circle. Anyone can be any of these things (not so much the last one though).. yeah. But thats not the point. There's different auras from each one.. these that can't be interpreted (and if they can then not widely) thats me. And nobody else but me. Its a small world though.. you'd think that they'd run out of auras. Same thing with snowflakes.. you know?
he's cool, caitlin... really cool. I like charlie and all, but man, why couldn't you hook me up with him. Hey.. nevermind. He'd be a really great friend and who needs a boyfriend anyways?
...
starting to wear makeup again.... but i'm still not being noticed. Even when i conform I'm not noticed. and i think thats the problem. Today was early release and we had to eat lunch in the classroom. I had nowhere to sit and i was all alone without food :( aww.. nah just kidding. I had time to read my magazine and i'm am utmost afraid of social contact.
I really hate my third and sixth hour. (smae people in both of those classes) they are all the christian society and its weird to say but they are the 'conformity' rockers. if you know what i mean. they like queen. sure, yeah, but everybody does now. and they are all democratic (except for adam) and all liberal and lets change the world and laugh at pointless things and stuff that is in even though we are building a scene right from under us. They aren't bad people.. i really like them. I just think that they are all the same and i can't help but to think that they may be robots. planted by the aliens so that even the most unconformists will confrom thinking that they can live in a sub-society that seems all too unique but in fact is just the same with different principles and whatnot. Thus is the world anyways. I back off from anything another person shares. and in a way that means that other people are deciding who i am. THough, no matter how 'in' the doors, queen, or some other my other favorite bands/composers/artists get I won't abandon them. I may look at them in a different light.. but i will always be me.
But if anyone ever tries to dance like me or act like me then they are getting their heads ripped off. Its the little things that make me me. I mean anyone can like the doors.. they're a great band. I don't care if i think they're not cool enough to like them. The doors creativity attracts many people because of its ability to change and to be interpereted in many ways. as is most music. So... liking them doesn't mean that its conformity. I can see a whole different side of the doors because of my mind and my way of thinking. same with other listeners. But the way i act. that creativity-that act- is all me. my mind my soul. if anyone can create the same thing and can be broken down in to technical terms than we've got a problem. I'm the spastic one. I'm the shy one (in class) I'm the outspoken one and I'm the one who dnaces strangely. I'm the one who doesn't care what people think. I'm the one whose one all extremes of the personality circle. Anyone can be any of these things (not so much the last one though).. yeah. But thats not the point. There's different auras from each one.. these that can't be interpreted (and if they can then not widely) thats me. And nobody else but me. Its a small world though.. you'd think that they'd run out of auras. Same thing with snowflakes.. you know?