Nowhere is Safe

[retardotron]

Today a man called me trying to find out if someone he knew was in the hospital. Technically this doesn't constitute the type of emergency I'm here to respond to, but I'm happy to help people out because I understand that no one wants to be desperate enough to call the hospital in the first place. I got another one of those calls today, and as

Comments

[retardotron]

Actually, I thought of that story as I was writing this. Get out of my brains.

I... I have a lot of stuff. Too much in fact. Maybe I just wanted you to help me get rid of some of it. It might be easier if you use a sharpie though.

[retardotron]

Oh see, I meant my actual brain. If you've decided to hole up in my roadkill collection that's fine. Just try not to eat everything, I want to taxidermy that stuff someday.