Small group

[restoration86]

So I've been hosting (and by hosting I mean leading/hosting/leading worship/etc.) a small group home church type thing at my apartment every other Thursday for the last couple months. It's been really successful, by which I've found myself slightly befuddled. Each week there are new people who come, and we have a pretty steady number of 10-12 who

Comments

[vip1]

I hear you!!! I have been feeling the same distance, of sorts, almost since we moved here nearly 4 years ago!! I don't have any desire to "do" any of the "godly stuff". I don't want to pray for people, though I want them to be healed and get prayer and all that. I don't even really want to talk to people about spiritual stuff, unless it's a daily life situation. Not interested in the "classic" debates of creation vs. evolution or any of those. That being said, I'm not doing much within the church, but the few times that I have prayed for somebody, God shows up and does stuff. It's just not exciting the way it once was.

I've often thought that it was just a "phase" but 4 years is a long "phase". I've thought maybe it was the area or the fact that I never really wanted to leave Champaign, but I've worked that out. I've never felt it was an attack, but I've prayed against it just in case. I just think it is. I don't feel a strong connection when I pray (at best a very poor analog-style connection) but I still try to pray, if nothing else, that God will let me feel Him again. Perhaps the only times I have truly "felt" God lately have all been through music. The music that speaks to my soul is that of Steven Curtis Chapman. I know not everybody feels the same when listening to his songs, but his music always speaks to me in the deepest ways! And, while that isn't prayer in the classic sense, I think anything that draws me closer to God and lets me feel His presence, even if only for a few minutes, is a form of communion with God. And, it's nice to just be able to sit back and reflect while feeling God's grace rather than struggling to try to communicate the fact that I feel like I can't communicate.....Might be worth trying, with whatever music speaks to you.