What Happends
What happends when you fall out of love with someone but they still have a strong passion for you? I don't think I love that girl anymore.. There are days (many days) when I don't think I even like her. And I don't know if I could just come out in the open and say: I Don't Love You. I mean that has to be one of the hardest things to say to a person.
I went to visit Michelle at her job today and she just wanted to sit and talk and I had a hard time doing that. I didn't even want her to hold my hand or rub my leg. Its weird. I know I suffer with depression but just being with her makes me sad. And to make it even worse, she tries to be nice. She tells me that she likes when she can get off work early b/c she can come home to me and be with me-be with the person she loves. And I don't have those same feelings. I like when she is at work b/c then I can be alone and not have her around me.
I know it would hurt me deeply if I was trying to snuggle up to someone and to have them keep pushing me away so I know that I am hurting her. And she has told me that she can only take so much of me not making her feel appreciated... I don't blame her. Maybe I am not meant to live with someone...I like my space.
Now I'm not going to hold myself soley responsible b/c she can really get in my face sometimes and really push my buttons. I don't know...maybe if I had another hobby or somethning else to occupy my time instead of just sitting at home after I get off work then I wouldn't be by myself all the time and then when she comes home I wouldn't feel like she is stepping on my toes and invading my space. Maybe then I would welcome her company. I don't know....
I went to visit Michelle at her job today and she just wanted to sit and talk and I had a hard time doing that. I didn't even want her to hold my hand or rub my leg. Its weird. I know I suffer with depression but just being with her makes me sad. And to make it even worse, she tries to be nice. She tells me that she likes when she can get off work early b/c she can come home to me and be with me-be with the person she loves. And I don't have those same feelings. I like when she is at work b/c then I can be alone and not have her around me.
I know it would hurt me deeply if I was trying to snuggle up to someone and to have them keep pushing me away so I know that I am hurting her. And she has told me that she can only take so much of me not making her feel appreciated... I don't blame her. Maybe I am not meant to live with someone...I like my space.
Now I'm not going to hold myself soley responsible b/c she can really get in my face sometimes and really push my buttons. I don't know...maybe if I had another hobby or somethning else to occupy my time instead of just sitting at home after I get off work then I wouldn't be by myself all the time and then when she comes home I wouldn't feel like she is stepping on my toes and invading my space. Maybe then I would welcome her company. I don't know....