My Diseased Mind: Or, How I Managed to Have the World's Least Sexy Threesome with Spike and Dean
My migraine has shifted into slightly nauseating auras with the occasional pulses of sharp pain. The hallucinations stopped, although not until after a particularly terrible and gristly glimpse of either Kiki or Colin as this tiny skeletal sheep thing. When whoever it was twisted to scratch his/her face with a back foot, the visual was enough to finally be what made me puke. A lot. Fortunately, the puking seemed to have marked the turning point on my brain translating the pain into visual hallucinations.
I tried to work on the spnnewsletter through this, but found I lost forty-five minutes when I thought only maybe two had passed. Then I couldn't tell if I was asleep or awake, if I was in my real apartment or in a hallucination, and I had no memory of which state I was in. At one point, I remembered being worried that I was still in Texas and that I'd imagined all of Florida. I was also very tense because the walls kept grinding so much that I kept expecting them to make a horrible sound. Except they never did. All of this? Is being noted to take to my docs because the only thing that I did differently chemically yesterday was not drink as much caffeine as usual. I've had a handful of migraines before and I've always had that slight touch of synesthesia, but last night was the total WIN for random.
I did manage to work my way back to the bed, despite having no idea if it was mine or even if it was real. As of this morning, I can't help but find the rest of my night's sleep absolutely hilarious because my retarded brain was apparently determined to come up with reasons why I'd have such an awful headache, even if it had to personally make up the most annoying ones EVER.
The first part of the dream largely dealt with family stuff and holidays, stuff that definitely gives me a headache under the best of circumstances. One of the prime irritations was that my mom was all worked up because she had included a special tube of toothpaste near an outdoor semi-shrine to a special bleeding statue of Virgin Mary, and someone (probably me) had taken the toothpaste. We had an argument because a) she has no statue of the Virgin Mary; b) there was no reason for the thing to have bled; and c) I could find no logical connection between the toothpaste and the statue and why she'd care about either. God. This is totally the sort of thing that would give me a headache, so thanks for that, evil jackass brain!
The next bit dealt with being swarmed by my relatives in my new home. The fun here was that someone gave me an inexplicably mechanized broom while they were visiting and otherwise just.not.leaving. In between dealing with stupid complaints about DVDs, trying to organize trips to the store so people could get the damned food they were actually willing to eat, and questions about why I don't ever come home, I began to get ominous phone calls from the company that had created the broom. Apparently? Someone still owed $37.50 on the broom and the company was making clear through increasingly psychotic threats (faxes, messages, and even a rep showing up in my home) the harm I would come to for owning this broom and not paying the rest of the amount due. I then had to deal with the rep, despite the fact that I didn't have the money on me and she wouldn't just take the fucking broom. Eventually, I got annoyed enough that I started offering her the food from the deli based on its monetary value (I had decided to give her enough meat and stuff equal to $37.50 to make her go away.) She eventually felt pretty crappy about what the company had sent her to do and left. Which was great, until I looked out my window and saw she had been slaughtered and nailed in bits to a tree for not collecting the cash. My relatives? Finally decided that maybe the visit should wind down.
Christ, yes, even in my sleep I felt my headache was well and truly being justified. But! My evil jackass brain was not done. The jerk.
I had to deal with the goddamned broom thumping around the kitchen but eventually locked it in the pantry. I made my way through closing the windows, kicking off my shoes, trying to figure out why the lights kept flickering, and rounding up the ferrets. Eventually, I made my way to the bedroom where, in that lovely way of dreams, I was in a very unsurprised way about to have sex with Spike and Dean.
Except Spike and Dean? Would not stop arguing even while the porny bits were kicking in. Finally, because I was ready to kill them both, I had to send Spike to take a hot shower because Dean's biggest gripe was about Spike's body temperature. Dean and I had a singular (naked) argument which lasted until Dean's eyes got very, very wide. I turned around to discover that Spike had, in fine petulant form, taken the goddamned shower BUT HAD NOT DRIED OFF before flopping back in the bed. Very snottily, he informed us as he soaked the sheets that he was determined to make us "sleep in the biggest wet spot ever." Also, he very needlessly pointed out that he had jammed open the windows to make sure everyone was completely freezing after getting wet. More (naked) hostilities and totally non-erotic porny bits continued as Dean went off about Spike and the "wet spot" and all that stuff. I got disgusted, stole someone's leather coat, and stomped back into the living room. Sam was sitting on my couch, watching TV and playing with Colin. He grinned at me.
"How's the headache?" he asked.
"Oh, shut up," I told him and punched him in the arm, which made him laugh. "And give me my goddamned ferret."
"Did you know you had gargoyles?" he asked, making room for me on the couch and pointing at Mason.
"MY HEADACHE IS WORKING FINE," I announced because, hello, it really was. I made him check to see if my eyes were bleeding or if I was just crying from the pain. I then buried my head against his chest while we listened to Dean and Spike thumping around (nakedly) and still bitching. Sam giggled a lot throughout. He then took this opportunity to take me around the apartment and show me how easy it would be for people to break in because the locks were useless.
"Hey, what's the deal with that broom? And why won't any of these windows close?" he asked. I hit him again. He cuddled me like I was a ferret, which I found equally annoying and comforting.
There was a bit more but, really, those were the highlights. Thank you, evil jackass brain, for making such an effort to come up with reasons why my head should hurt even as I sleep. You jerk.
The good news? The most recent ep of SPN makes a lot more sense when I'm not watching in a migraine haze. \o/ Many of my quibbles have been fixed by simply being able to watch and retain what I'm seeing. GO FIG.
I tried to work on the spnnewsletter through this, but found I lost forty-five minutes when I thought only maybe two had passed. Then I couldn't tell if I was asleep or awake, if I was in my real apartment or in a hallucination, and I had no memory of which state I was in. At one point, I remembered being worried that I was still in Texas and that I'd imagined all of Florida. I was also very tense because the walls kept grinding so much that I kept expecting them to make a horrible sound. Except they never did. All of this? Is being noted to take to my docs because the only thing that I did differently chemically yesterday was not drink as much caffeine as usual. I've had a handful of migraines before and I've always had that slight touch of synesthesia, but last night was the total WIN for random.
I did manage to work my way back to the bed, despite having no idea if it was mine or even if it was real. As of this morning, I can't help but find the rest of my night's sleep absolutely hilarious because my retarded brain was apparently determined to come up with reasons why I'd have such an awful headache, even if it had to personally make up the most annoying ones EVER.
The first part of the dream largely dealt with family stuff and holidays, stuff that definitely gives me a headache under the best of circumstances. One of the prime irritations was that my mom was all worked up because she had included a special tube of toothpaste near an outdoor semi-shrine to a special bleeding statue of Virgin Mary, and someone (probably me) had taken the toothpaste. We had an argument because a) she has no statue of the Virgin Mary; b) there was no reason for the thing to have bled; and c) I could find no logical connection between the toothpaste and the statue and why she'd care about either. God. This is totally the sort of thing that would give me a headache, so thanks for that, evil jackass brain!
The next bit dealt with being swarmed by my relatives in my new home. The fun here was that someone gave me an inexplicably mechanized broom while they were visiting and otherwise just.not.leaving. In between dealing with stupid complaints about DVDs, trying to organize trips to the store so people could get the damned food they were actually willing to eat, and questions about why I don't ever come home, I began to get ominous phone calls from the company that had created the broom. Apparently? Someone still owed $37.50 on the broom and the company was making clear through increasingly psychotic threats (faxes, messages, and even a rep showing up in my home) the harm I would come to for owning this broom and not paying the rest of the amount due. I then had to deal with the rep, despite the fact that I didn't have the money on me and she wouldn't just take the fucking broom. Eventually, I got annoyed enough that I started offering her the food from the deli based on its monetary value (I had decided to give her enough meat and stuff equal to $37.50 to make her go away.) She eventually felt pretty crappy about what the company had sent her to do and left. Which was great, until I looked out my window and saw she had been slaughtered and nailed in bits to a tree for not collecting the cash. My relatives? Finally decided that maybe the visit should wind down.
Christ, yes, even in my sleep I felt my headache was well and truly being justified. But! My evil jackass brain was not done. The jerk.
I had to deal with the goddamned broom thumping around the kitchen but eventually locked it in the pantry. I made my way through closing the windows, kicking off my shoes, trying to figure out why the lights kept flickering, and rounding up the ferrets. Eventually, I made my way to the bedroom where, in that lovely way of dreams, I was in a very unsurprised way about to have sex with Spike and Dean.
Except Spike and Dean? Would not stop arguing even while the porny bits were kicking in. Finally, because I was ready to kill them both, I had to send Spike to take a hot shower because Dean's biggest gripe was about Spike's body temperature. Dean and I had a singular (naked) argument which lasted until Dean's eyes got very, very wide. I turned around to discover that Spike had, in fine petulant form, taken the goddamned shower BUT HAD NOT DRIED OFF before flopping back in the bed. Very snottily, he informed us as he soaked the sheets that he was determined to make us "sleep in the biggest wet spot ever." Also, he very needlessly pointed out that he had jammed open the windows to make sure everyone was completely freezing after getting wet. More (naked) hostilities and totally non-erotic porny bits continued as Dean went off about Spike and the "wet spot" and all that stuff. I got disgusted, stole someone's leather coat, and stomped back into the living room. Sam was sitting on my couch, watching TV and playing with Colin. He grinned at me.
"How's the headache?" he asked.
"Oh, shut up," I told him and punched him in the arm, which made him laugh. "And give me my goddamned ferret."
"Did you know you had gargoyles?" he asked, making room for me on the couch and pointing at Mason.
"MY HEADACHE IS WORKING FINE," I announced because, hello, it really was. I made him check to see if my eyes were bleeding or if I was just crying from the pain. I then buried my head against his chest while we listened to Dean and Spike thumping around (nakedly) and still bitching. Sam giggled a lot throughout. He then took this opportunity to take me around the apartment and show me how easy it would be for people to break in because the locks were useless.
"Hey, what's the deal with that broom? And why won't any of these windows close?" he asked. I hit him again. He cuddled me like I was a ferret, which I found equally annoying and comforting.
There was a bit more but, really, those were the highlights. Thank you, evil jackass brain, for making such an effort to come up with reasons why my head should hurt even as I sleep. You jerk.
The good news? The most recent ep of SPN makes a lot more sense when I'm not watching in a migraine haze. \o/ Many of my quibbles have been fixed by simply being able to watch and retain what I'm seeing. GO FIG.