EMF, EVP, and Ecotoplasm: A Mix of Science and SPN Meta
Due to hugely embittering circumstances, I'm interrupting my regularly scheduled archaeological neep to bitchslap me some pseudo-science and woo-woo notions surrounding actual science. This is also to give y'all a bit of technical background on some of the terms and whatnot used in paranormal investigations and research. (You know. Just in case you're writing some hotass SPN fic or whatever. I'm just sayin'.) As always, this is by no means comprehensive. Feel free to chime in with other links and requests for clarification.
EMF ≠ WTF?
The first link will take you to the fantastic EMF Q&A page put together by the National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences. This link will take you to an equally cool site (this one has many useful at-a-glance tables, such as what sort of readings you can expect to get off of any number of items at a variety of distances) put together by the World Health Organization.
So, here's the big thing I pretty much never see addressed: the majority of EMF meters are designed to only find AC (alternating current) electromagnetic fields. AC fields will always be artificially generated. Natural fields are always DC (direct current). Mind, DC fields can be manufactured as well but, again, AC fields will never be naturally occurring. (For great visuals, check out this and this. And, yes, I'll know if you do.)
Anyway, natural DC fields spark up the human body's bioelectrical system, cause lightning, and would be the thing that powers a supernatural thingummy such as a ghost. If you're serious about leaning toward the "science" part of the pseudo-science of paranormal investigation, then know that you cannot detect a ghost with an AC field meter. Anyone with the most rudimentary knowledge of physics will make with the mock at you for doing so.
However. You can use EMF meters that measure AC fields to eliminate man-made sources. (Dude. It's a site called "GhostsRUs." I totally had to link to it. Totally.) This is because most EMF meters only register between 50 to 60Hz. That's the range of frequencies the electrical grids in North America and Europe operate at, and EMF meters were actually designed to detect these. For example, Sam and Dean had a nice moment in "Hell House" of subtracting out the old power line. I had major love for that. Alternately, you can pick up some sort of DC magnetometer or Gaussmeter.
I once again have to give props for Dean's conversion of an old Walkman into a homemade EMF meter. I posted the links a while back, but just in case anyone is curious, the first image is the kind of circuit he would have had to work with and the second is the what he'd need to operate the Walkman as an EMF meter.
Btw, since our boys are not beneath ghetto moves, don't forget that a compass with a free-swinging needle can totally be used as a crude EMF detector. North won't change directions on you. (Although you wouldn't know that based on some of the cute little undergrads I've had on excavations with me.) Sight on your north and walk along a north-south transect. If the needle changes more than 10 degrees when you stop walking -- and there's nothing else to account for it (which is where a metal detector can come in handy) -- then you have an anomaly. (See how this could be handy in a story? Again, I'm just sayin'.)
Back to the sciencey bits now. Here's a slightly more technical (although very easy-to-read) EMF reference. Next, I give you the entry in the Skeptic's Dictionary (♥!) on EMF. It is made of AWESOME and damned near the whole reason I'm posting this. Because -- okay, brace yourselves now -- that bastard woo-woo crap trinket thing that spidered the link to my story DOESN'T DO DIDDLY-SQUAT. Nnnnghhh. *is so fucking bitter you don't even know omg* This link will let you access a paper called (rather brilliantly) Explanations, Education, and Electromagnetic Fields.
I'm skipping ahead to the next bit because I have just found the greatest thing in the history of the internets -- if not the ENTIRE WORLD.
EVP ∈ Woo-Woo Crap
So, if you really want to, you can read up on the AAEVP's site about the nature of EVP or even the SkepticWiki's EVP article. All I care about at the moment is linking you to this recording of a purported voice from beyond the grave that is saying -- according to this site -- BUTTFUCKERDOODLE.
Oh. My. God.
BUTTFUCKERDOODLE FOR THE WIN! \o/
That is exactly the message I want to communicate to the living after I die. I want to spell this out on Ouija boards and possess people into carving it into every possible surface. Because, obviously, if you're going to pass on a message from Beyond the Veil, it just has to be BUTTFUCKERDOODLE. This is totally what I want Sam and Dean to be confronted with in an EVP recording.
("Hey, Sammy. Come check this out. This spirit is totally trying to pass a message along to you." "To me? What? What are you talking about?" "Seriously, dude. Come listen." *cues* "BUTTFUCKERDOODLE." *bitchface* "Will you grow up, Dean?" "BUTTFUCKERDOODLE. BUTTFUCKERDOODLE." "What? It's totally talking to you!" "BUTTFUCKERDOODLE." "All right, that's it. You don't get the tape recorder any more." "BUTTFUCKERDOODLE. BUTTFUCKERDOODLE." "Good thing I already put the file on the laptop then." "BUTTFUCKERDOODLE.")
BUTTFUCKERDOODLE as a message from the Other Side: IT DOESN'T STOP BEING FUNNY. *bliss*
I must also cheerfully note that the ghostbusting equipment recommended here specifically pimps an audio Gaussmeter that only picks up AC fields. Again, "real" ghost hunters would at best rely on this for its subtractive qualities because appliances that run on the 50 to 60Hz frequencies make distinctive and recognizable sounds.
Ectoplasm = WHOA
I have to confess that SkepDic's entry on ectoplasm was the first time I had read about the manifestation of ectoplasm from a particular spiritualist's "opening in the anatomy." We have well and truly had a disconnect from the origin of ectoplasm. (Well, I did, anyway.) I found yet more historical info here to confirm that, indeed, ectoplasm had its start in spiritualism as an ejaculate from between women's legs.
Hideous visual aside, this offers quite the interesting take on ectoplasm in SPN as introduced to us in "No Exit" where it's a rage-related residue. Good lord. That was totally evil ghostly spooge that Sam and Dean both touched. AWESOME. More seriously, it's also an intriguing glimpse into the Victorian era, what with the rampant repression. Ectoplasm, as originally defined, is "a viscous substance that supposedly exudes from the body of a medium during a spiritualistic trance and forms the material for the manifestation of spirits." (Snagged this from here.) Even more fascinating is that Sigmund Freud is the fellow responsible for popularizing the notion of ectoplasm as this particular kind of female ejaculate. I had no idea.
Honestly, I'm pretty sure that anything else I could write or pass along at this point would be anticlimactic. (Heh. So to speak.) I'll sign off with this nifty article -- one that actually does a fine job of expressing my feelings on the matter of hauntings and ghosts.
Oh! One last thing: BUTTFUCKERDOODLE!
EMF ≠ WTF?
The first link will take you to the fantastic EMF Q&A page put together by the National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences. This link will take you to an equally cool site (this one has many useful at-a-glance tables, such as what sort of readings you can expect to get off of any number of items at a variety of distances) put together by the World Health Organization.
So, here's the big thing I pretty much never see addressed: the majority of EMF meters are designed to only find AC (alternating current) electromagnetic fields. AC fields will always be artificially generated. Natural fields are always DC (direct current). Mind, DC fields can be manufactured as well but, again, AC fields will never be naturally occurring. (For great visuals, check out this and this. And, yes, I'll know if you do.)
Anyway, natural DC fields spark up the human body's bioelectrical system, cause lightning, and would be the thing that powers a supernatural thingummy such as a ghost. If you're serious about leaning toward the "science" part of the pseudo-science of paranormal investigation, then know that you cannot detect a ghost with an AC field meter. Anyone with the most rudimentary knowledge of physics will make with the mock at you for doing so.
However. You can use EMF meters that measure AC fields to eliminate man-made sources. (Dude. It's a site called "GhostsRUs." I totally had to link to it. Totally.) This is because most EMF meters only register between 50 to 60Hz. That's the range of frequencies the electrical grids in North America and Europe operate at, and EMF meters were actually designed to detect these. For example, Sam and Dean had a nice moment in "Hell House" of subtracting out the old power line. I had major love for that. Alternately, you can pick up some sort of DC magnetometer or Gaussmeter.
I once again have to give props for Dean's conversion of an old Walkman into a homemade EMF meter. I posted the links a while back, but just in case anyone is curious, the first image is the kind of circuit he would have had to work with and the second is the what he'd need to operate the Walkman as an EMF meter.
Btw, since our boys are not beneath ghetto moves, don't forget that a compass with a free-swinging needle can totally be used as a crude EMF detector. North won't change directions on you. (Although you wouldn't know that based on some of the cute little undergrads I've had on excavations with me.) Sight on your north and walk along a north-south transect. If the needle changes more than 10 degrees when you stop walking -- and there's nothing else to account for it (which is where a metal detector can come in handy) -- then you have an anomaly. (See how this could be handy in a story? Again, I'm just sayin'.)
Back to the sciencey bits now. Here's a slightly more technical (although very easy-to-read) EMF reference. Next, I give you the entry in the Skeptic's Dictionary (♥!) on EMF. It is made of AWESOME and damned near the whole reason I'm posting this. Because -- okay, brace yourselves now -- that bastard woo-woo crap trinket thing that spidered the link to my story DOESN'T DO DIDDLY-SQUAT. Nnnnghhh. *is so fucking bitter you don't even know omg* This link will let you access a paper called (rather brilliantly) Explanations, Education, and Electromagnetic Fields.
I'm skipping ahead to the next bit because I have just found the greatest thing in the history of the internets -- if not the ENTIRE WORLD.
EVP ∈ Woo-Woo Crap
So, if you really want to, you can read up on the AAEVP's site about the nature of EVP or even the SkepticWiki's EVP article. All I care about at the moment is linking you to this recording of a purported voice from beyond the grave that is saying -- according to this site -- BUTTFUCKERDOODLE.
Oh. My. God.
BUTTFUCKERDOODLE FOR THE WIN! \o/
That is exactly the message I want to communicate to the living after I die. I want to spell this out on Ouija boards and possess people into carving it into every possible surface. Because, obviously, if you're going to pass on a message from Beyond the Veil, it just has to be BUTTFUCKERDOODLE. This is totally what I want Sam and Dean to be confronted with in an EVP recording.
("Hey, Sammy. Come check this out. This spirit is totally trying to pass a message along to you." "To me? What? What are you talking about?" "Seriously, dude. Come listen." *cues* "BUTTFUCKERDOODLE." *bitchface* "Will you grow up, Dean?" "BUTTFUCKERDOODLE. BUTTFUCKERDOODLE." "What? It's totally talking to you!" "BUTTFUCKERDOODLE." "All right, that's it. You don't get the tape recorder any more." "BUTTFUCKERDOODLE. BUTTFUCKERDOODLE." "Good thing I already put the file on the laptop then." "BUTTFUCKERDOODLE.")
BUTTFUCKERDOODLE as a message from the Other Side: IT DOESN'T STOP BEING FUNNY. *bliss*
I must also cheerfully note that the ghostbusting equipment recommended here specifically pimps an audio Gaussmeter that only picks up AC fields. Again, "real" ghost hunters would at best rely on this for its subtractive qualities because appliances that run on the 50 to 60Hz frequencies make distinctive and recognizable sounds.
Ectoplasm = WHOA
I have to confess that SkepDic's entry on ectoplasm was the first time I had read about the manifestation of ectoplasm from a particular spiritualist's "opening in the anatomy." We have well and truly had a disconnect from the origin of ectoplasm. (Well, I did, anyway.) I found yet more historical info here to confirm that, indeed, ectoplasm had its start in spiritualism as an ejaculate from between women's legs.
Hideous visual aside, this offers quite the interesting take on ectoplasm in SPN as introduced to us in "No Exit" where it's a rage-related residue. Good lord. That was totally evil ghostly spooge that Sam and Dean both touched. AWESOME. More seriously, it's also an intriguing glimpse into the Victorian era, what with the rampant repression. Ectoplasm, as originally defined, is "a viscous substance that supposedly exudes from the body of a medium during a spiritualistic trance and forms the material for the manifestation of spirits." (Snagged this from here.) Even more fascinating is that Sigmund Freud is the fellow responsible for popularizing the notion of ectoplasm as this particular kind of female ejaculate. I had no idea.
Honestly, I'm pretty sure that anything else I could write or pass along at this point would be anticlimactic. (Heh. So to speak.) I'll sign off with this nifty article -- one that actually does a fine job of expressing my feelings on the matter of hauntings and ghosts.
Oh! One last thing: BUTTFUCKERDOODLE!