stalking winter please be a good montreal.
alas,
i'm a fucking rip-tide of a wench.
in the car face to face i couldn't compile my thoughts to say anything to you. to say how hurt and angry i was. i hate confrontations and venting but this seems dire. i go out of the way on my own just to get crushed and proved that even I can play the dunce. there was nothing @ all sensual or even lustful about being banged up the ass last nite.i know i'm not your girl but we were both far from as intimate as before, simple things like just being held snuggling? damn that sounds so lame yet it would’ve made a difference..... i just assumed there would've been more time do things differently and just do other stuff. but hell nah you start to get dressed and i'm sittin on your bed stupid. i guess this pro's hour to prove herself was over and done. so preoccupied with going to another party that you clearly didn't want me at. prior to you'd warned me about your evening plans and that was cool but i felt rushed. pushed out.
and its not about being with you to be WITH you I don’t want be all in your grill. its like damn i see you maybe once every blue moon and thats it. Perhaps proving to myself that’s enough for you ah well, tisk tisk i cared to much... smacks on the ass like a horse and pinches but no sincerity you were never like that with me before. c'mon now thats uncool and I thought you caught my drift that that made me very uncomfortable. i don't like that shit infront of other people b/c its akward. makes it pretty obvious i'm a piece of meat. last time your roomates made me feel uncomfortable and this time it was just all you. i'm stunned b/c i've never felt like this before and never have had to react to a situation like this. i guess in my mind i'm still on the notion that i really did like you and wanted us to be cool. but for all this just fuck it. its apparent now i'm really hurt and embarassed but its all the same as done. i came 420 miles and then went outta the way to see you for like 2 hours and bada bing when you get what you wanted it seemed like a done deal. i'm so tired of this game. i'm so naiive and glad i didn't give the justice of seeing the tear fall from my eye. i'm so appalled and so pissed. and yet i still care enough that i wouldn't want anything like this to happen to you. lets switch the shoes how would you have felt?
i'm sure you're tired of this too so do as you wish just let me fade out like some bad highlight in your life and we can part ways here.. well its not like there was much? or as much as i had hoped for? its funny being cynical because my 43,000 education couldn't have taught me this much in a year and you've done all that and then some. whats even worse is that i still want you to prove me wrong. i still want you to see in our mystical meeting via fate like i did. the random but cool sensation like a mentos. but you don't? i'm just like any other girl you've met and cyber fucked online but maybe out of a few one who had gaul to step to you and keep being persistent. i'm not nearly as important as anyone in your top 8 or top 64 of life and i thought you'd mean something really special to me in the future long run 'ol buddy. womp womp catherine brown. you never had to love me, you didn't have to like me but i wish you could've respected me. i layed myself (ahahaha, o the irony) out as clear cut as possible all you had to like a package label says was: handle with care. I’m such a fucking retard right?
ah. whats to say to disaster when it flicks its tongue on your cheek? whats to say to its fucking over. i can't wait for this response. whatever i can be preoccupied with so many other things now. (poses hand over the heart) i can make room for the right in mylife? ahahaha. delirious. i can't get over how ridiculous. damn i feel in contempt for that word. ok. so i'm gonna be benevolent to my own ittybitty heart. you did what you thought was right. you spoke what was on your chest. yeah you kinda had it coming. but now that the illusion is over there is plenty of space for reality to reign. for reality to clarify and time for me to do what i need to! grow! expand!
bullshit i need a nutrageous bar.
i'm a fucking rip-tide of a wench.
in the car face to face i couldn't compile my thoughts to say anything to you. to say how hurt and angry i was. i hate confrontations and venting but this seems dire. i go out of the way on my own just to get crushed and proved that even I can play the dunce. there was nothing @ all sensual or even lustful about being banged up the ass last nite.i know i'm not your girl but we were both far from as intimate as before, simple things like just being held snuggling? damn that sounds so lame yet it would’ve made a difference..... i just assumed there would've been more time do things differently and just do other stuff. but hell nah you start to get dressed and i'm sittin on your bed stupid. i guess this pro's hour to prove herself was over and done. so preoccupied with going to another party that you clearly didn't want me at. prior to you'd warned me about your evening plans and that was cool but i felt rushed. pushed out.
and its not about being with you to be WITH you I don’t want be all in your grill. its like damn i see you maybe once every blue moon and thats it. Perhaps proving to myself that’s enough for you ah well, tisk tisk i cared to much... smacks on the ass like a horse and pinches but no sincerity you were never like that with me before. c'mon now thats uncool and I thought you caught my drift that that made me very uncomfortable. i don't like that shit infront of other people b/c its akward. makes it pretty obvious i'm a piece of meat. last time your roomates made me feel uncomfortable and this time it was just all you. i'm stunned b/c i've never felt like this before and never have had to react to a situation like this. i guess in my mind i'm still on the notion that i really did like you and wanted us to be cool. but for all this just fuck it. its apparent now i'm really hurt and embarassed but its all the same as done. i came 420 miles and then went outta the way to see you for like 2 hours and bada bing when you get what you wanted it seemed like a done deal. i'm so tired of this game. i'm so naiive and glad i didn't give the justice of seeing the tear fall from my eye. i'm so appalled and so pissed. and yet i still care enough that i wouldn't want anything like this to happen to you. lets switch the shoes how would you have felt?
i'm sure you're tired of this too so do as you wish just let me fade out like some bad highlight in your life and we can part ways here.. well its not like there was much? or as much as i had hoped for? its funny being cynical because my 43,000 education couldn't have taught me this much in a year and you've done all that and then some. whats even worse is that i still want you to prove me wrong. i still want you to see in our mystical meeting via fate like i did. the random but cool sensation like a mentos. but you don't? i'm just like any other girl you've met and cyber fucked online but maybe out of a few one who had gaul to step to you and keep being persistent. i'm not nearly as important as anyone in your top 8 or top 64 of life and i thought you'd mean something really special to me in the future long run 'ol buddy. womp womp catherine brown. you never had to love me, you didn't have to like me but i wish you could've respected me. i layed myself (ahahaha, o the irony) out as clear cut as possible all you had to like a package label says was: handle with care. I’m such a fucking retard right?
ah. whats to say to disaster when it flicks its tongue on your cheek? whats to say to its fucking over. i can't wait for this response. whatever i can be preoccupied with so many other things now. (poses hand over the heart) i can make room for the right in mylife? ahahaha. delirious. i can't get over how ridiculous. damn i feel in contempt for that word. ok. so i'm gonna be benevolent to my own ittybitty heart. you did what you thought was right. you spoke what was on your chest. yeah you kinda had it coming. but now that the illusion is over there is plenty of space for reality to reign. for reality to clarify and time for me to do what i need to! grow! expand!
bullshit i need a nutrageous bar.