"It's about this gay geek in Texas who does really well in school until college and then starts screwing up horribly. Not sure yet where it goes from there."
Of course, if I was reading a novel of my life, I would probably have already stopped reading. Most people probably would have stopped reading the novels of their lives some time ago, if they weren't busily trying to write them.
I am sorry to hear the thing with Yuuto didn't work out. Judging by my experience, I'll hazard a guess that it was indeed the bad sex caused by one of the two partners, you, being horribly uncomfortable with the idea of having sex with anyone. I've been on both sides of that, and it can indeed get better, although it does require relaxing and embracing your body. Modifying your body may indeed help with that.
As to how it happened to you, I nurse a suspicion that the whole universe is like a giant clock, or Pascal's triangle, and it's big and dense and complicated but it all fits neatly and perfectly together in one interconnected whole exactly as it has to be. Each one of us, including you, is constantly simultaneously being hit by chains of causality stretching back through dizzying lengths of time, and shooting off more similar chains of cause and effect in all directions like roman candles throwing sparks. The system requires that some of us be FTM, and by your precise position in space and time and your relations to your family, friends, and the rest of the universe, you're one of them. However, that is an untestable suspicion, I'm afraid.
"Visit scenic Thailand! Get your tits off! This is a weird world we live in, people."
Hah! Ain't it the truth!
It's good to hear from you. I wish you smooth sailing.
That is much more than ten words. FIRED! XD Also, it would probably depend on who was telling the story. Approached with a healthy sense of irony and humor, I think anybody's story could be interesting. Unless it's a rinse and repeat of "I went to work. I came home and watched TV. I went to bed." Er... yeah no.
And the bad sex was half his fault, for being such a bloody starfish. The Japanese tradition of sex involves the passive partner being exactly that -- entirely passive. Which, if you're not used to it, is unnerving as hell because you're like, "Uhm... are you into this? At all?? GODDAMN IT, I'M INSECURE ENOUGH ALREADY."
Your Pascal's triangle theory sort of reminds me of a thought I had the other day. I was drinking an alcoholic beverage as I walked home from the train station (because that's the sort of classy bastard I am) and I stopped over this bridge to watch the view. It was just at sunset, and the landscape there is very interesting for the way that the houses have grown up sort of haphazardly around the train tracks. And I stood there, mildly buzzed, enjoying the summer evening and watching the packed rush-hour trains zooming by beneath me, when it occurred to me how unbelievably complicated and strange and perfect the universe is. And that if I were religious that would have been "...and it's all thanks to God!" moment, but since I'm not I just thought, Why do people need to put God in the picture? Isn't it awe-inspiring enough that the world is this crazy collection of connections and causality and random lives colliding and changing each other? Why do they need to cheapen the majesty of that by trying to force it into a box by saying "God made the world", like God made a model and then put it on the shelf. When I look around me, I see a world creating itself.
Which... I'm not sure if I'm agreeing with you or not. Or even if I really expressed what I was thinking. I was kind of buzzed, after all, it was a moment of enlightenment sort of thing.
Oh, I knew it was much more than ten words, but ten words was just too few.
You'd want to use a montage to skip over the repetitive bits. But even boring people have exciting moments-- birth, marriage, death, sex, that kind of thing.
Moments when the beauty and somehow, uh, "messy perfection" of the universe reach out and grab your attention do feel religious, whether you have any belief in the supernatural or not, and whether you're a bit buzzed or not.
Of course, if I was reading a novel of my life, I would probably have already stopped reading. Most people probably would have stopped reading the novels of their lives some time ago, if they weren't busily trying to write them.
I am sorry to hear the thing with Yuuto didn't work out. Judging by my experience, I'll hazard a guess that it was indeed the bad sex caused by one of the two partners, you, being horribly uncomfortable with the idea of having sex with anyone. I've been on both sides of that, and it can indeed get better, although it does require relaxing and embracing your body. Modifying your body may indeed help with that.
As to how it happened to you, I nurse a suspicion that the whole universe is like a giant clock, or Pascal's triangle, and it's big and dense and complicated but it all fits neatly and perfectly together in one interconnected whole exactly as it has to be. Each one of us, including you, is constantly simultaneously being hit by chains of causality stretching back through dizzying lengths of time, and shooting off more similar chains of cause and effect in all directions like roman candles throwing sparks. The system requires that some of us be FTM, and by your precise position in space and time and your relations to your family, friends, and the rest of the universe, you're one of them. However, that is an untestable suspicion, I'm afraid.
"Visit scenic Thailand! Get your tits off! This is a weird world we live in, people."
Hah! Ain't it the truth!
It's good to hear from you. I wish you smooth sailing.
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And the bad sex was half his fault, for being such a bloody starfish. The Japanese tradition of sex involves the passive partner being exactly that -- entirely passive. Which, if you're not used to it, is unnerving as hell because you're like, "Uhm... are you into this? At all?? GODDAMN IT, I'M INSECURE ENOUGH ALREADY."
Your Pascal's triangle theory sort of reminds me of a thought I had the other day. I was drinking an alcoholic beverage as I walked home from the train station (because that's the sort of classy bastard I am) and I stopped over this bridge to watch the view. It was just at sunset, and the landscape there is very interesting for the way that the houses have grown up sort of haphazardly around the train tracks. And I stood there, mildly buzzed, enjoying the summer evening and watching the packed rush-hour trains zooming by beneath me, when it occurred to me how unbelievably complicated and strange and perfect the universe is. And that if I were religious that would have been "...and it's all thanks to God!" moment, but since I'm not I just thought, Why do people need to put God in the picture? Isn't it awe-inspiring enough that the world is this crazy collection of connections and causality and random lives colliding and changing each other? Why do they need to cheapen the majesty of that by trying to force it into a box by saying "God made the world", like God made a model and then put it on the shelf. When I look around me, I see a world creating itself.
Which... I'm not sure if I'm agreeing with you or not. Or even if I really expressed what I was thinking. I was kind of buzzed, after all, it was a moment of enlightenment sort of thing.
Reply
You'd want to use a montage to skip over the repetitive bits. But even boring people have exciting moments-- birth, marriage, death, sex, that kind of thing.
Hah, doesn't matter if you're in a Japanese tradition or not, entirely passive sex is doing it wrong. Joke time! http://www.jokesaboutspring.com/spring-in-france.html
Moments when the beauty and somehow, uh, "messy perfection" of the universe reach out and grab your attention do feel religious, whether you have any belief in the supernatural or not, and whether you're a bit buzzed or not.
Reply
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