Introspection
So I see these people in stories and movies and on TV who lose themselves in their work, disappearing for hours (or in extreme cases, days) into an equation they're trying to figure out or a case they're trying to solve, and I think "Man, I wish I had something to lose myself in like that."
I write, true, but writing for me is a whirlwind mistress, breezing into my life (usually when I can least afford it) and taking over my world for a few hours or a few days, and then breezing right back out and disappearing for weeks or months at a time. I'm not dedicated enough in photography to go set up That Perfect Shot, instead deciding to take what shots come my way and see if I get lucky. Math and equations have never been my thing, either; the only fond memories I have of my chem class being when the teacher blew something up or played with liquid nitrogen for an entire lecture - not the hours I spent tired and frustrated, studying my ass off for a test and almost crying with relief if I managed to squeeze by with a C- (or, more often, just plain wanting to cry when I did not).
Just... it would be nice to have something I'm passionate about. Something to eat up the hours and make me feel like I accomplished something worth while.
(this is not me moping, or even really feeling sorry for myself, honest. Just something for me to think about that could use a little more thinking. 28 years without direction is an awful long time.)
I write, true, but writing for me is a whirlwind mistress, breezing into my life (usually when I can least afford it) and taking over my world for a few hours or a few days, and then breezing right back out and disappearing for weeks or months at a time. I'm not dedicated enough in photography to go set up That Perfect Shot, instead deciding to take what shots come my way and see if I get lucky. Math and equations have never been my thing, either; the only fond memories I have of my chem class being when the teacher blew something up or played with liquid nitrogen for an entire lecture - not the hours I spent tired and frustrated, studying my ass off for a test and almost crying with relief if I managed to squeeze by with a C- (or, more often, just plain wanting to cry when I did not).
Just... it would be nice to have something I'm passionate about. Something to eat up the hours and make me feel like I accomplished something worth while.
(this is not me moping, or even really feeling sorry for myself, honest. Just something for me to think about that could use a little more thinking. 28 years without direction is an awful long time.)