I needed to vent, eventually!
Hey, so don't freak out, but I am updating again within the same month! Ok so this is going to be a rant, so scroll down now if you don't want to hear me scream. So Sarah brought home this bird that got hurt at her work. She told Kristen to take care of it, but I wound up feeding and cleaning the bird. Since it was a baby, he had to be force fed. I was thinking to myself, man this will be a chance to show myself that I can take care of something, and I am not a failure at everything. Well, while at Kristen's graduation party yesterday I left the bird by itself, and when we got back, Kristen told me it was dead. I kind of figured it, by the look in her eyes when she came back to the car. And it was hard to bury the bird, it was mine, and once again, I lost it. I couldn't keep it alive, and I failed again. So yesterday, around 10:00 PM, I would say , I went out to the woods and dug his hole and buried the bird in it. So once again, I am alone. And if that's not bad enough, my aunt, who has been diagnosed with non-hodgkins lymphoma (a type of cancer) for about two years now, is in the hospital on what they say is her death bed. After my grandma died, my aunt seemed to understand my pain and sort of took me under her wing. After I left home, however, she listened to my mom, and believed her instead of me. So she hates me. My pain of knowing I am going to lose her, however, has not gone away. Who do I have left once my aunt is gone? My mom hates me, my dad is out of my life, and all my other relatives beleive my mom over me. All relationships I had with my family are gone. I am scared though; I don't think I can handle losing my aunt, along with losing everything else I have lost. And as stupid as it sounds, the bird just added to it. I am slowly closing my shell to the world, because if no one can see my pain then it doesn't exist.