Fire
I'm afraid of fire. I used to be so scared my house would burn down when I was little. Then I forgot I was scared of it, because I think flames are pretty. But things burning are scary. Even if my house burned down and there were things to salvage, i wouldn't go near it. Smoke, ashes, and charcols or whatever its called disgust me. If my house ever burned, i'd probably be so scared I'd let myself burn with it.
I'm so scared of everything now though, I don't know why. I used to be so brave when Jennifer lived here, she was scared, so I had to be brave. And now she's gone and I'm afraid of everything. Jennifer needs to come back so I can be brave again. Even in the mornings when I go from the bathroom to my room after my shower, I'm so scared. It's disturbing.
Today has been dull and lonely. I havn't yet opened my mouth to speak to another person, nor have I layed eyes on another living being. It feels almost like a prison, but if I were to leave I would feel like I was abandoning Colin (turns out he wasnt even home). Also, sometimes I just don't feel like being alone. Actually, although I like being in solitude sometimes, if there were no one else left on earth.. I would kill myself. It's my biggest fear. In grade 9 we had to write a horror story, and mine was about that. Being totally alone.
I don't know how I'll survive when I get older. I'm not good enough at anything to have a job as anything except a burger flipper, I can't even get a job now. I don't know how to drive. I can't imagine the thought of having to pay bills and do the same thing everyday either. It's such a waste. Blah, I hate thinking about these things. But tis what I do when I'm alone for these long periods of time. This is why I can't stand being alone.
I'm so scared of everything now though, I don't know why. I used to be so brave when Jennifer lived here, she was scared, so I had to be brave. And now she's gone and I'm afraid of everything. Jennifer needs to come back so I can be brave again. Even in the mornings when I go from the bathroom to my room after my shower, I'm so scared. It's disturbing.
Today has been dull and lonely. I havn't yet opened my mouth to speak to another person, nor have I layed eyes on another living being. It feels almost like a prison, but if I were to leave I would feel like I was abandoning Colin (turns out he wasnt even home). Also, sometimes I just don't feel like being alone. Actually, although I like being in solitude sometimes, if there were no one else left on earth.. I would kill myself. It's my biggest fear. In grade 9 we had to write a horror story, and mine was about that. Being totally alone.
I don't know how I'll survive when I get older. I'm not good enough at anything to have a job as anything except a burger flipper, I can't even get a job now. I don't know how to drive. I can't imagine the thought of having to pay bills and do the same thing everyday either. It's such a waste. Blah, I hate thinking about these things. But tis what I do when I'm alone for these long periods of time. This is why I can't stand being alone.