i'm scared
so the discussion for us too have our 2nd has been in the topic basket as of late...
marty wants to have one I want to wait... it's not that i don't want to have one I would love to have our 2nd i just don't feel ready... i am honestly scared of the outcome of my labor and delivery and do you blame me... Liam's delivery was so scary and I don't want to have a repeat I don't want another c section... I don't want to feel out of control of what is supposed to be the happiest moments of my life... I am not scared of being pregnant i loved being pregnant... I am scared of me being 2 weeks overdue and not have a doctor i was supposed to have walk out on me and leave me with a doctor that didn't stick to any of the things I wanted... I hate doctors I hate the fact that they will lie to you because they don't care and just want the money... when they say they do care... actions speak louder than words...Liam's birth when brought up is an event i don't even want to think about I can barely remember holding him in my arms for the first time... How could something so important to me hurt so much to even fathom... how could such an important event scare me that much...
I love my son with all my heart but his delivery was a thing nightmares are made of...
marty wants to have one I want to wait... it's not that i don't want to have one I would love to have our 2nd i just don't feel ready... i am honestly scared of the outcome of my labor and delivery and do you blame me... Liam's delivery was so scary and I don't want to have a repeat I don't want another c section... I don't want to feel out of control of what is supposed to be the happiest moments of my life... I am not scared of being pregnant i loved being pregnant... I am scared of me being 2 weeks overdue and not have a doctor i was supposed to have walk out on me and leave me with a doctor that didn't stick to any of the things I wanted... I hate doctors I hate the fact that they will lie to you because they don't care and just want the money... when they say they do care... actions speak louder than words...Liam's birth when brought up is an event i don't even want to think about I can barely remember holding him in my arms for the first time... How could something so important to me hurt so much to even fathom... how could such an important event scare me that much...
I love my son with all my heart but his delivery was a thing nightmares are made of...