its all crazy insane
life is crazy. I woke up this morning wanting to write so badly, my fingers ached for a pen and my mind yearned to turn that pen into a keypad. So here I am on the Eve of a New Year, feeling not quite all here. My face feels gross from lack of morning wash, my teeth, well they are clean, and my face between my lip and nose feels heavy on the left, where my flesh recovers from a needle seperating it and inserted a metal stud. Why am I so indcredibly last moment? and so obviously craved for excitement in everything from an orange to life changing scars? I wish for an answer but all things excape me.
So its here at 20, that I have no idea what my future holds. I can name some things I want it to hold, in no order of importance or timeline.
1. I want my education to do something for me.
2. I want to find the man in whoes face I will see every morning for the rest of my life.
3. I want to do art and have people want to pay for it and stand in line at the gallerys for my displays. 4. I want to master forms of cooking.
5. I want to serve the Lord in every capacity, and be completely content with only that.
6. I want to have children....in future, a long time from now!
7. I want to travel to foreign countries, for work and pleasure.
8. I want to buy a house and have it be fixer upper. I want to decorate.
the list goes on and its fun to dream, but also hard to give it all up to God. I want that future, and feel that right now I am going nowhere. I am on a tradmill, walking, but in no direction and moving nowhere. Forward or backward, still in one place.
its alright. I am glad for Friday nights and the encouragememnt that Romans 4:19-25 gave me. That using abraham as an example I could see that if it means waiting as long as 14 years, God is still faithful to His promises. He promises to never leave, to fulful a good work, to give the desired of the ehart if our eyes remain in Him and the kingdom of God. I can't help but wish to see what my future holds. I am trying now to focus on today, and what is at hand. The party, a dress. Some crazy hair, some incredible fellowship with friends that mean more to me that anyother thing. Wow. Life is good.
Happy New Year my friends. Be safe.
So its here at 20, that I have no idea what my future holds. I can name some things I want it to hold, in no order of importance or timeline.
1. I want my education to do something for me.
2. I want to find the man in whoes face I will see every morning for the rest of my life.
3. I want to do art and have people want to pay for it and stand in line at the gallerys for my displays. 4. I want to master forms of cooking.
5. I want to serve the Lord in every capacity, and be completely content with only that.
6. I want to have children....in future, a long time from now!
7. I want to travel to foreign countries, for work and pleasure.
8. I want to buy a house and have it be fixer upper. I want to decorate.
the list goes on and its fun to dream, but also hard to give it all up to God. I want that future, and feel that right now I am going nowhere. I am on a tradmill, walking, but in no direction and moving nowhere. Forward or backward, still in one place.
its alright. I am glad for Friday nights and the encouragememnt that Romans 4:19-25 gave me. That using abraham as an example I could see that if it means waiting as long as 14 years, God is still faithful to His promises. He promises to never leave, to fulful a good work, to give the desired of the ehart if our eyes remain in Him and the kingdom of God. I can't help but wish to see what my future holds. I am trying now to focus on today, and what is at hand. The party, a dress. Some crazy hair, some incredible fellowship with friends that mean more to me that anyother thing. Wow. Life is good.
Happy New Year my friends. Be safe.