(no subject)
i don't know what to do. all i want to do is cry and scream. i hurt more now then ever and i don't know whats going on anymore. the past 3 weeks all i've wanted to do is cry until there is nothing left.i feel so used form so many people and mainly form 3 people the most(Jason, Nat, and Chris) i hurt for emilia because i feel like her father doesn't want her, when he was the one that wanted to have her and wanted to try to have her and was the one who talked me into it and whatnot i feel so very alone and i just don't know what to do or where to go. why can't i just say it i need help but not sure what help i really need. why can't things be what they should be but no i had to have a whore for a friend. i had to love someone who told me nothing but lies and i had to do something that i know i'm not ready for even throw i've been doing it for the past 9 months. i feel like shit. i feel like and bad person and a bad mother. i'm so scared that i shake because of it. i can't sleep anymore and when i do its for maybe 2 hours at a time. i want everything in my head to just stop and i can't get it to. i must not be as strong as i think i am or as people may think i am.