LJ Idol: Week 6: Not Of Your World
I'm not sure where I belong.
Oh, arguably I belong in places like #nanowrimo, the Spork Room and any other number of places... but...
Ever have that feeling of being apart from it all? Like you're just doing it because it's expected or demanded of you? I've often felt like that, although even now it's hard to pinpoint why. Because in a lot of cases, I wasn't apart from it, I was a part of it... and then after a time, the feeling began to crop up.
What is it? The inevitable process of just growing beyond certain things, finding new priorities in life? I've made friends, lost them... but a few have stayed around. And I know they're doing things, the same things I used to. Maybe it's just they've found their 'home' and I haven't; I'm still looking for that place where things might not be perfect, but the feeling of... apartness won't develop.
I still talk to my friends, on and off--I have my life, they have theirs, so it's not surprising there's less contact--and it's little glimpses of a life I once had, a time when doing the same things as they did was important. So many people, so many glimpses...
But that isn't my life anymore. None of it is.
I'm not one of you anymore.
Maybe I never really was...