heartbroken

Jul 31, 2008 23:52

 i just went on a 4 day cruise. and its funny, even though i had an amazing time and actually made really good friends, i came back in a worse mood. like a really, really shitty mood.

im so angry. i wish i could have skipped this whole summer. i knew it would be shitty and it has def been nothing but shitty. this whole summer has been a countdown. well here it is. theres three weeks left and im finally getting what i wanted three months ago. is it what i wanted?? fuck i dont know. i hate all this anticipation. its not supposed to be like this. a LOT of things have happened that i wasnt expecting

everything is fucking annoying me. and everyone.

i dont want to work at express any more. ive only had to work 2 days knowing she wont come back. but im miserable. the stores a fucking disaster. and i know shes not coming back to make it better. this is the first thing ive cried over in a while. but ive been crying since i found out weeks ago. im heartbroken. i know this is pathetic. i know this kinda thing happens in this job all the time. but she was my idol. in fashion. in... well, everything. and i really dont know what to do now.

breaking dawn in 24 hours. hopefully, that will make me feel a little better. :D cant WAIT. i wish i had someone to go to the release party with at midnight. im def not going by myself. and the only 2 ppl i can think of asking are out of town. looks like ill just go buy it on sat morning and miss out on all the fun. :( im such a nerd lol
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