wasting time
i feel like im wasting my summer. im sitting around, waiting for something that might not ever happen. waiting for a promise of fall. summer is already half way over. at the begining of the summer, i was so eager. and couldnt wait till august. and looking back on the past month and a half, i dont think what i wanted out of this is going to happen. im not feeling what i thought i would feel. i was promised so much. but what is a promise? just words. he's not supposed to make me angry. especially when i only see him every couple weeks for a few hours. but im STILL not ready to give this up. i really dont want to give up. i just had this picture in my mind of what fall would look like. and i dont want to change that. i just wish i knew a way to uncomplicate my life.