Please Remember Me
Note: This prompt is being answered based on the incident referenced in a post made in another journal and takes place a good seventeen years from the present events in Laine's journal.
Children break your heart. Jansen had certainly done that and then some this afternoon. She crushed Laine, knocked the emotional wind right out of the woman with those hurtful, hateful words. But she also made her mother think. There were certain inevitabilities and eventualities involved with a marriage such as the one she had with her husband. Things that remained largely unspoken of, if silently acknowledged, between the two.
Until now.
Jansen was in her room, where she had been ever since returning from ‘a little walk and a conversation’ with her father, Laine hadn’t pressed for details. She knew her husband and child well enough that she could guess at the words that had been exchanged, the looks on their respective faces spoke volumes when they had come home. And her husband, Anraí, he’d been quiet most of the evening even if he had given her more than one reassuring smile and long fierce hug. Jansen’s words had hurt him just as deeply, she was certain of it.
It was with that thought that she slipped into bed beside him, tucked herself against his body, her head falling to his shoulder as she slid down between the sheets. Her voice quiet, “Hey, darlin’…been a day ain’t it?”
He made a noise deep in his throat, an equine snort and nicker, acknowledgment and greeting all meshed into one. Laine pressed a kiss to his collarbone and sighed herself, played her fingers over his chest, fingers padding against warm skin.
“I love you, Anraí.” She needed him to hear that right now, needed to tell him too. “I love that daughter of ours just as much…”
“A chroi, I know. I do know.”
He really was going to be a man of few words tonight. Laine smiled slightly at that, a bittersweet expression to be sure. Sometimes what he didn’t say meant more than what he did chose to give voice to, and the way his arm tightened around her…
“Anraí, I know we don’t ever talk about this, sugar, but-“
“Laine, please…”
She wasn’t going to let him dissuade her she needed to get these words out. The ones that had been running through her mind the last several hours. Occupying her heart for much longer. “Darlin’, listen to me: I know she didn’t mean what she said. God, I hope she didn’t mean it. But she has point, I ain’t goin’ to be here forever.”
At his sharp intake of breath, Laine stopped and pressed another kiss to the side of his neck, let her lips linger there against the strong throbbing of his pulse. ““I know I’ve got the easy end of the deal here, darlin’. I get to love you for the rest of my life. I get to have my forever with the man of my dreams. I wouldn’t trade what we have, not for anythin’ in the world.”
His fingers were digging into the soft flesh of her hip, his grip on her tight, his body tense though he remained quiet.
Laine slipped her arm around his middle and tucked her head under his chin. “I don’t plan on goin’ nowhere for a good long time yet, I ain’t done lovin’ on you by far. You’re goin’ to be stuck with me until I’m old and wrinkled and white-haired just like my Mama. And then some, just cause I’m stubborn.”
She was trying to make him laugh or at least smile. It didn’t work so she sighed. “Anraí, I want you to promise me somethin’.”
“Elaina Marie…can we please not talk about this tonight?” He so very rarely used her given name, it almost kept her from continuing.
“I want you to remember me.” She said it.
“Laine…” Said in a tone that begged the question of how could she think he’d ever forget her.
“And then I want you go on with your life and never remind Jansen of what she said to me today. But mostly, Anraí, mostly I want you to remember that I love sharin’ my life with you.” She was quiet for a long while after that, holding onto him and letting him hold her in return. It wasn’t until she felt him start to relax beneath her that she spoke up again. “And if you don’t, I’m goin’ to haunt your ass forever.”
Children break your heart. Jansen had certainly done that and then some this afternoon. She crushed Laine, knocked the emotional wind right out of the woman with those hurtful, hateful words. But she also made her mother think. There were certain inevitabilities and eventualities involved with a marriage such as the one she had with her husband. Things that remained largely unspoken of, if silently acknowledged, between the two.
Until now.
Jansen was in her room, where she had been ever since returning from ‘a little walk and a conversation’ with her father, Laine hadn’t pressed for details. She knew her husband and child well enough that she could guess at the words that had been exchanged, the looks on their respective faces spoke volumes when they had come home. And her husband, Anraí, he’d been quiet most of the evening even if he had given her more than one reassuring smile and long fierce hug. Jansen’s words had hurt him just as deeply, she was certain of it.
It was with that thought that she slipped into bed beside him, tucked herself against his body, her head falling to his shoulder as she slid down between the sheets. Her voice quiet, “Hey, darlin’…been a day ain’t it?”
He made a noise deep in his throat, an equine snort and nicker, acknowledgment and greeting all meshed into one. Laine pressed a kiss to his collarbone and sighed herself, played her fingers over his chest, fingers padding against warm skin.
“I love you, Anraí.” She needed him to hear that right now, needed to tell him too. “I love that daughter of ours just as much…”
“A chroi, I know. I do know.”
He really was going to be a man of few words tonight. Laine smiled slightly at that, a bittersweet expression to be sure. Sometimes what he didn’t say meant more than what he did chose to give voice to, and the way his arm tightened around her…
“Anraí, I know we don’t ever talk about this, sugar, but-“
“Laine, please…”
She wasn’t going to let him dissuade her she needed to get these words out. The ones that had been running through her mind the last several hours. Occupying her heart for much longer. “Darlin’, listen to me: I know she didn’t mean what she said. God, I hope she didn’t mean it. But she has point, I ain’t goin’ to be here forever.”
At his sharp intake of breath, Laine stopped and pressed another kiss to the side of his neck, let her lips linger there against the strong throbbing of his pulse. ““I know I’ve got the easy end of the deal here, darlin’. I get to love you for the rest of my life. I get to have my forever with the man of my dreams. I wouldn’t trade what we have, not for anythin’ in the world.”
His fingers were digging into the soft flesh of her hip, his grip on her tight, his body tense though he remained quiet.
Laine slipped her arm around his middle and tucked her head under his chin. “I don’t plan on goin’ nowhere for a good long time yet, I ain’t done lovin’ on you by far. You’re goin’ to be stuck with me until I’m old and wrinkled and white-haired just like my Mama. And then some, just cause I’m stubborn.”
She was trying to make him laugh or at least smile. It didn’t work so she sighed. “Anraí, I want you to promise me somethin’.”
“Elaina Marie…can we please not talk about this tonight?” He so very rarely used her given name, it almost kept her from continuing.
“I want you to remember me.” She said it.
“Laine…” Said in a tone that begged the question of how could she think he’d ever forget her.
“And then I want you go on with your life and never remind Jansen of what she said to me today. But mostly, Anraí, mostly I want you to remember that I love sharin’ my life with you.” She was quiet for a long while after that, holding onto him and letting him hold her in return. It wasn’t until she felt him start to relax beneath her that she spoke up again. “And if you don’t, I’m goin’ to haunt your ass forever.”