Different Differences
I believe I'm going out on a limb here, but I'm going to make the bold statement that summer is wonderful. I have been stressed... the last couple years have been really hard on me. After everything that happened this time last year, between me and Jean; with Amie changing so drastically, making so many foolish decisions, and growing further apart from me and friends than ever before; between Sarah upright abandoning me as a friend for absolutely no reason four months ago; between struggling, and subsequently (almost?) failing my last semester's classes........ yeah, it's just been pretty bad. Things have been so sour, and when things get so bad, and stay bad for so long, everyone deserves a break.
Summer is my break: a complete break from responsibility. School is my most apparent factor for stress, and now that I haven't had to worry about school since I finally got all passing grades solidified, I have been feeling a lot better. Despite my other stresses, my face has been clearing up dramatically, and despite my day to day annoyances, I've been in a pretty good mood. It's that whole cliché "weight off your shoulders" sort of thing; that "it suddenly feels lighter" thing. I haven't felt that since this time last year, though this is in no comparison to how wonderful I felt in that short time I spent with Jean.
But I'm never given a break, not even during the break I'm given. My major stress factor right now has been my mom. Her ignorance is quickly coming to a head in ways I have never seen before. I speak ill of my mother sometimes, yes, but I can't stand ignorance from anyone, and my mother is no exception.
Let me give you an example, and you can be the judge. I was told today that I am to be going down to Houston to visit family. I was not made aware until today that we would be leaving tomorrow; I am not the least bit prepared, have no time to do what I need to do, nor time to properly pack. My mom had mentioned the vague possibility of going down to Houston sometime in the near future. Near future, as she says, and I directly quote, "sometime in the next month." Not "in a couple days," she said "sometime in the next month." No preparation. She didn't even tell my GRANDMOTHER, who hates traveling, that we were going. Furthermore, I have no choice in this matter; I have to go whether I like it or not because "I haven't been to Houston to visit family recently"... even though said family was here a couple weeks ago in Fort Worth. And what about my plans? I was supposed to go to Ara's birthday party on Saturday, and visit with all my friends, whom I haven't seen in months. What of my plans with them? Cancelled. Because I have no choice; I am going to Houston whether I like it or not.
Who is in the right and who is in the wrong? I don't think I'm being selfish in asking for maybe half a week's notice for a 3-4 day trip over 500+ miles (one way). That would give me time to pack, time to prepare myself mentally for a long trip in a small space to a place I don't really feel like going, at a time I don't really feel like going, for a reason that's not terribly important to me, time to notify my friends and reschedule to see them another time... I mean, I don't think it's too demanding of a task for my mom. But as she as told me before, "stop being so goddamned stupid." Right? Right?
I'm supposed to relax during my summer. I'm supposed to enjoy it. And I am, but these interruptions ruin it intermittently. Think of it as if you were getting a massage: the mood's right, you feel great, every part of your body is in perfect concordance and harmony. Then suddenly, an air siren goes off in the room... yeah, that's what my summer has felt like.
I'll be returning to Chicago soon. The plans are fairly set in stone, though not completely confirmed (as is anything else my mom plans... sigh.). The idea is that I will be heading there sometime after the Fourth of July. As said before, it'll be wonderful to see the city once more, when it's lit up with life in the middle of a hot and humid summer. I can't wait to get lost again. My one goal, my only goal, for this wonderful trip will be truly complete, is to meet Kristin. I've known that crazy girl for three years at least, and we've never once met; separated by 1000 miles, this is the second chance I'll have to meet her for the first time. I will not idly pass that up. Meeting Kristin would be a dream come true.
In an attempt to show how awesome and/or how technologically advanced I am, I'm going to be using Twitter immensely on this trip: I'll be sending messages while I'm wandering around the city, pictures if I see anything interesting (which I definitely will), and just me being my weird self. You can see what I'm up to throughout the trip (or any other time, of course) by following me on Twitter. I guess if you don't want to be invested though, you can just look at my Twitter without joining... haha. But tell me that use of Twitter like that won't be fun.
That's all for now. Too frustrated with ignorance and ignorant people to think straight.
Kaitlin is wonderful. :] But I'm paying for dinner. Mwahaha.
Summer is my break: a complete break from responsibility. School is my most apparent factor for stress, and now that I haven't had to worry about school since I finally got all passing grades solidified, I have been feeling a lot better. Despite my other stresses, my face has been clearing up dramatically, and despite my day to day annoyances, I've been in a pretty good mood. It's that whole cliché "weight off your shoulders" sort of thing; that "it suddenly feels lighter" thing. I haven't felt that since this time last year, though this is in no comparison to how wonderful I felt in that short time I spent with Jean.
But I'm never given a break, not even during the break I'm given. My major stress factor right now has been my mom. Her ignorance is quickly coming to a head in ways I have never seen before. I speak ill of my mother sometimes, yes, but I can't stand ignorance from anyone, and my mother is no exception.
Let me give you an example, and you can be the judge. I was told today that I am to be going down to Houston to visit family. I was not made aware until today that we would be leaving tomorrow; I am not the least bit prepared, have no time to do what I need to do, nor time to properly pack. My mom had mentioned the vague possibility of going down to Houston sometime in the near future. Near future, as she says, and I directly quote, "sometime in the next month." Not "in a couple days," she said "sometime in the next month." No preparation. She didn't even tell my GRANDMOTHER, who hates traveling, that we were going. Furthermore, I have no choice in this matter; I have to go whether I like it or not because "I haven't been to Houston to visit family recently"... even though said family was here a couple weeks ago in Fort Worth. And what about my plans? I was supposed to go to Ara's birthday party on Saturday, and visit with all my friends, whom I haven't seen in months. What of my plans with them? Cancelled. Because I have no choice; I am going to Houston whether I like it or not.
Who is in the right and who is in the wrong? I don't think I'm being selfish in asking for maybe half a week's notice for a 3-4 day trip over 500+ miles (one way). That would give me time to pack, time to prepare myself mentally for a long trip in a small space to a place I don't really feel like going, at a time I don't really feel like going, for a reason that's not terribly important to me, time to notify my friends and reschedule to see them another time... I mean, I don't think it's too demanding of a task for my mom. But as she as told me before, "stop being so goddamned stupid." Right? Right?
I'm supposed to relax during my summer. I'm supposed to enjoy it. And I am, but these interruptions ruin it intermittently. Think of it as if you were getting a massage: the mood's right, you feel great, every part of your body is in perfect concordance and harmony. Then suddenly, an air siren goes off in the room... yeah, that's what my summer has felt like.
I'll be returning to Chicago soon. The plans are fairly set in stone, though not completely confirmed (as is anything else my mom plans... sigh.). The idea is that I will be heading there sometime after the Fourth of July. As said before, it'll be wonderful to see the city once more, when it's lit up with life in the middle of a hot and humid summer. I can't wait to get lost again. My one goal, my only goal, for this wonderful trip will be truly complete, is to meet Kristin. I've known that crazy girl for three years at least, and we've never once met; separated by 1000 miles, this is the second chance I'll have to meet her for the first time. I will not idly pass that up. Meeting Kristin would be a dream come true.
In an attempt to show how awesome and/or how technologically advanced I am, I'm going to be using Twitter immensely on this trip: I'll be sending messages while I'm wandering around the city, pictures if I see anything interesting (which I definitely will), and just me being my weird self. You can see what I'm up to throughout the trip (or any other time, of course) by following me on Twitter. I guess if you don't want to be invested though, you can just look at my Twitter without joining... haha. But tell me that use of Twitter like that won't be fun.
That's all for now. Too frustrated with ignorance and ignorant people to think straight.
Kaitlin is wonderful. :] But I'm paying for dinner. Mwahaha.