an introspective moment
... only not exactly. whatever.
I have a lot of things going through my mind, now that I have all the time in the world to reflect on them. so far, my stay at home has been boring. it's nice to see my family, but everyone's really in such a rut that it's hard to get out & do fun & interesting things. I'm torn b/c I would love to go to Savannah, but it's such a long drive... and my sister is coming home on Friday, so it'd be a weirdly timed trip if I still were to manage to see her (which I really want to do). *sigh*
I did DO something today, though. I went to MYSO (down at GA State) with my mom & Alexander, so I actually ended up spending about an hour with Genevieve while she was working on a studio project. that was excellent. & I learned some Hungarian while sitting around. not too bad.
but really, there are more important things going through my mind.
first thing: I have a friend who continuously lies to me. I've learned to accept this, except for on one subject. on this one subject, she will lie to me continuously, without any reasoning or provocation. she lies to everyone about lots of things, but this one thing is actually completely different & much more of a big deal to me, mostly b/c it makes it nearly impossible to trust her. it's hard when a near and dear friend does that b/c what is friendship without trust? I could trust her, even with her constant lies, if it weren't for that one subject which she takes to a new level. it's so hard b/c there will always be that block that prevents us from being really close... b/c I can't trust her enough. and it sucks. I HATE it. I want to be able to trust her in spite of this b/c she is a good friend. but no, it just doesn't happen.
second thing: guy problems. they suck. blah. I wish I didn't have to be attracted to people that put me in complicated positions.
third thing: mini life crisis in which I feel like I'm not really living, not doing enough, etc. it happens pretty much whenever I'm on a break & pretty much just sucks.
fourth thing: fear of the real world. oooh boy. also, a whole mumbo jumbo of worries about my future. I'll straighten it out, though.
having the "Real Esate" song from the workshop version of RENT stuck in my head just makes me laugh, though. and cringe. definitely cringe.
I have a lot of things going through my mind, now that I have all the time in the world to reflect on them. so far, my stay at home has been boring. it's nice to see my family, but everyone's really in such a rut that it's hard to get out & do fun & interesting things. I'm torn b/c I would love to go to Savannah, but it's such a long drive... and my sister is coming home on Friday, so it'd be a weirdly timed trip if I still were to manage to see her (which I really want to do). *sigh*
I did DO something today, though. I went to MYSO (down at GA State) with my mom & Alexander, so I actually ended up spending about an hour with Genevieve while she was working on a studio project. that was excellent. & I learned some Hungarian while sitting around. not too bad.
but really, there are more important things going through my mind.
first thing: I have a friend who continuously lies to me. I've learned to accept this, except for on one subject. on this one subject, she will lie to me continuously, without any reasoning or provocation. she lies to everyone about lots of things, but this one thing is actually completely different & much more of a big deal to me, mostly b/c it makes it nearly impossible to trust her. it's hard when a near and dear friend does that b/c what is friendship without trust? I could trust her, even with her constant lies, if it weren't for that one subject which she takes to a new level. it's so hard b/c there will always be that block that prevents us from being really close... b/c I can't trust her enough. and it sucks. I HATE it. I want to be able to trust her in spite of this b/c she is a good friend. but no, it just doesn't happen.
second thing: guy problems. they suck. blah. I wish I didn't have to be attracted to people that put me in complicated positions.
third thing: mini life crisis in which I feel like I'm not really living, not doing enough, etc. it happens pretty much whenever I'm on a break & pretty much just sucks.
fourth thing: fear of the real world. oooh boy. also, a whole mumbo jumbo of worries about my future. I'll straighten it out, though.
having the "Real Esate" song from the workshop version of RENT stuck in my head just makes me laugh, though. and cringe. definitely cringe.