*ahem*

[reflectedstars]

i can hardly count all the holes i've dug myself into
or how many of them i've tried to fill with excuses
and my denial supplied the dead leaves to cover the gaps that i ultimately would fall into
you would think that persistence would be an admirable trait
cause god knows i tried the same damn thing over and over
again and again, passing time until i'd filled a supposed dream
an hour and a half away i found my reckoning
my childish expectations wouldn't hold up with people like these
while i sought who knows what elsewhere, there was a set of eyes i avoided
blue ones that flashed with each sarcastic remark
i avoided them, matched with sympathetic ears and arms
protecting them from my guilt that glinted through the leaves over the holes
cause i couldn't forgive myself if he became another one
some time passed, i attempted my dream over and over
again and again, until i arrived where i'd always wanted to be
surprisingly, or perhaps not so much so
i found myself staring up from within another hole
i climbed out quickly, only to meet those blues ive so long avoided
so now my story becomes one of acceptance
of how wrong i was, of how little control i have
but for once, it's okay
because any eyes that can see all i've done or ignored and still remain in my direction
may be worth the look back