Pick your battles.......
Well it has been a while since I posted, but I blame Face Book for that. It seems that most people choose to live their lives around the ease of social networking in the forms of FB, twitter, tumblr and so on. Me I prefer the safety and privacy of my LJ. So I need to start posting in here more....
*clears her throat*
Life has been...somewhat trying lately. This summer has been a long succession of trials and questions that revolve around things such as walking away, giving up, letting go, and how important is family in terms of being forgotten and treated like nothing more than just a joke that is disposable, or not the right race...
Where to start?
My sister and brother in law got married in '97 and moved into a new house that they had put on my parents property in '98. Everything was great. Well as time went on my sister had this gasteric bypass surgery to lose weight back in '03. At the time they really didn't research the risks of all the mental and physical changes that go into that process. My sister wound up becoming an alcoholic after her surgery, something that we found was not that uncommon with many people who went through the procedure. First off they aren't supposed to be drinking because their bodies can't break down the sugars anymore like it once did, this also means they have to cut out a lot of things and change a lot of things in their diet. They also have to learn with being smaller and having people look at them differently than when they were bigger. My sister fell into that really bad. She all of a sudden thought she was god's gift and would always tell me how she looked better than me and was prettier and blah blah blah....
My retort to her always was.. "Well that is fine, but at least I don't need a surgery to lose weight. I do it on my own because I'm not a lazy ass who wants to take the easy way out."
Anyways that is just were it started. It became worse. She started being a bitch to my brother in law and her kids. Basically she chose the bottle over everyone even my parents. Then God forbid my grandparents pass away and she starts to blame that for her drinking more and more. Well long story short it's 10 yrs now and she is what we call a functioning alcoholic. However she stopped taking care of her house, and my brother in law is a lazy ass who always wants to go to the gym instead of doing things around the house. My niece moved out and got pregnant and turned into a heinous bitch who thinks she knows everything, and my nephew is pretty much a lazy jerk. They all treat my parents like shit...And when I say that I am not exagtrating in one bit.
Basically my parents mostly my dad got tired of all their crap and told them they needed to start taking care of the house and cleaning up around there since they live on the same property. My brother in law got pissed because my parents didn't kiss his ass when he tried to blame my sister for everything. Mind you he has no room to talk, because he never put his foot down with my nephew and made him do things, my nephew pitches a fit and becomes an ass when he does not get his way. He is 18 years old and can't clean his room, or mow the grass or do anything really because he was never made to do it. Jerry *my brother in law* Just gave him everything because he felt he was being to mean if he put his foot down... It's sad. Anyways my nephew would come to "visit" me and my husband and roommates, but never spend time with us, he just wanted to use the internet. If he wanted to actually spend time with people he would go to my niece's house. He likes her boyfriend and well he can smoke pot with Allyssa's boyfriend and do whatever he wants there. Here we don't allow that.
Well so they got mad and they wound up moving into an apartment without telling my dad anything.... So for about 2 weeks my dad had no idea that they moved. I wanted to tell him but mom wouldn't let me because she didn't want him to get upset. He was already having problems with his pacemaker, but did my sister and them care, no fucking way. Finally I told Allyssa *my niece* that they never informed my parents and she told Jerry who laid into my sister... Long story short I got a nice colorful msg from my sister...
6-6-13
You need to stay the fuck out of my business don't text or call my kids. I'm done with you ask MY mom your not even my sister so go fuck off all you do is mooch money off your roommates, you only married casper because you wouldnt have to work your nothing but a lazy ass always has always will be. Im gonna tell Dad to ask for a DNA tes on you. I didn't like you as a baby, growing up and now you are nothing to me or my kids.
@this point I told her okay you made your choice don't contact me.
My sister - I won't but I will get daddy to ask for a DNA because you are a Rodriguez youll never be a Schneider., fuck you, you fucking bitch you low life free loader............
That is what she sent me after all that happened. Was I hurt? Yes, beyond words, but I got so use to it that it's not even funny anymore... I mean this is my older sister someone I used to look up too... so I have accepted that she hates me. Before anyone says anything different....she hates me. I know this and anyone who has been around can see it. Do you even have any idea how much this hurts? It really does... Anyways moving on.
So they basically have blown off my parents and left my dad to clean up their mess, so me and Aaron have gone over there to help him because it was BAD... I have pictures of how they left the house, but I don't really want to share them because it bothers me... I feel for my parents, but at least they seem to be more relaxed and at ease. My father is doing better health wise which is all I care about. They have pretty much written off my sister as well because of all the heartache and shit they have been put through for about 9 yrs now.
Well Allyssa and I used to be really close, but yeah what does that mean? Nothing now because she had another baby on the 9th and never contacted me or my parents. I have yet to meet the baby, and I haven't even gotten any pictures. So I plan to have nothing to do with the kids either. Now if they were to try to approach me to know me I would welcome them, but as for Allyssa, Zachary, Nita, Jerry... I have no sister, niece, nephew, and brother in law anymore.
It's just gotten to the point where I almost started hating myself. I mean it's hard to talk to people about it because unless you have walked that path at anypoint it's hard to understand. It's so hard and hurts so bad knowing that people whom you love look at you as a joke. I don't know how many times my sister has told me she wishes I was dead or was never born... REALLY??? That is bad. I never wished that, I only wanted her to love me... but I know that I am asking to much.
*sighs* There is more.... but for now. This is what I have to say.
I will touch on it more here and there... but all my thoughts are just running together....
~ Reese // Tama
*clears her throat*
Life has been...somewhat trying lately. This summer has been a long succession of trials and questions that revolve around things such as walking away, giving up, letting go, and how important is family in terms of being forgotten and treated like nothing more than just a joke that is disposable, or not the right race...
Where to start?
My sister and brother in law got married in '97 and moved into a new house that they had put on my parents property in '98. Everything was great. Well as time went on my sister had this gasteric bypass surgery to lose weight back in '03. At the time they really didn't research the risks of all the mental and physical changes that go into that process. My sister wound up becoming an alcoholic after her surgery, something that we found was not that uncommon with many people who went through the procedure. First off they aren't supposed to be drinking because their bodies can't break down the sugars anymore like it once did, this also means they have to cut out a lot of things and change a lot of things in their diet. They also have to learn with being smaller and having people look at them differently than when they were bigger. My sister fell into that really bad. She all of a sudden thought she was god's gift and would always tell me how she looked better than me and was prettier and blah blah blah....
My retort to her always was.. "Well that is fine, but at least I don't need a surgery to lose weight. I do it on my own because I'm not a lazy ass who wants to take the easy way out."
Anyways that is just were it started. It became worse. She started being a bitch to my brother in law and her kids. Basically she chose the bottle over everyone even my parents. Then God forbid my grandparents pass away and she starts to blame that for her drinking more and more. Well long story short it's 10 yrs now and she is what we call a functioning alcoholic. However she stopped taking care of her house, and my brother in law is a lazy ass who always wants to go to the gym instead of doing things around the house. My niece moved out and got pregnant and turned into a heinous bitch who thinks she knows everything, and my nephew is pretty much a lazy jerk. They all treat my parents like shit...And when I say that I am not exagtrating in one bit.
Basically my parents mostly my dad got tired of all their crap and told them they needed to start taking care of the house and cleaning up around there since they live on the same property. My brother in law got pissed because my parents didn't kiss his ass when he tried to blame my sister for everything. Mind you he has no room to talk, because he never put his foot down with my nephew and made him do things, my nephew pitches a fit and becomes an ass when he does not get his way. He is 18 years old and can't clean his room, or mow the grass or do anything really because he was never made to do it. Jerry *my brother in law* Just gave him everything because he felt he was being to mean if he put his foot down... It's sad. Anyways my nephew would come to "visit" me and my husband and roommates, but never spend time with us, he just wanted to use the internet. If he wanted to actually spend time with people he would go to my niece's house. He likes her boyfriend and well he can smoke pot with Allyssa's boyfriend and do whatever he wants there. Here we don't allow that.
Well so they got mad and they wound up moving into an apartment without telling my dad anything.... So for about 2 weeks my dad had no idea that they moved. I wanted to tell him but mom wouldn't let me because she didn't want him to get upset. He was already having problems with his pacemaker, but did my sister and them care, no fucking way. Finally I told Allyssa *my niece* that they never informed my parents and she told Jerry who laid into my sister... Long story short I got a nice colorful msg from my sister...
6-6-13
You need to stay the fuck out of my business don't text or call my kids. I'm done with you ask MY mom your not even my sister so go fuck off all you do is mooch money off your roommates, you only married casper because you wouldnt have to work your nothing but a lazy ass always has always will be. Im gonna tell Dad to ask for a DNA tes on you. I didn't like you as a baby, growing up and now you are nothing to me or my kids.
@this point I told her okay you made your choice don't contact me.
My sister - I won't but I will get daddy to ask for a DNA because you are a Rodriguez youll never be a Schneider., fuck you, you fucking bitch you low life free loader............
That is what she sent me after all that happened. Was I hurt? Yes, beyond words, but I got so use to it that it's not even funny anymore... I mean this is my older sister someone I used to look up too... so I have accepted that she hates me. Before anyone says anything different....she hates me. I know this and anyone who has been around can see it. Do you even have any idea how much this hurts? It really does... Anyways moving on.
So they basically have blown off my parents and left my dad to clean up their mess, so me and Aaron have gone over there to help him because it was BAD... I have pictures of how they left the house, but I don't really want to share them because it bothers me... I feel for my parents, but at least they seem to be more relaxed and at ease. My father is doing better health wise which is all I care about. They have pretty much written off my sister as well because of all the heartache and shit they have been put through for about 9 yrs now.
Well Allyssa and I used to be really close, but yeah what does that mean? Nothing now because she had another baby on the 9th and never contacted me or my parents. I have yet to meet the baby, and I haven't even gotten any pictures. So I plan to have nothing to do with the kids either. Now if they were to try to approach me to know me I would welcome them, but as for Allyssa, Zachary, Nita, Jerry... I have no sister, niece, nephew, and brother in law anymore.
It's just gotten to the point where I almost started hating myself. I mean it's hard to talk to people about it because unless you have walked that path at anypoint it's hard to understand. It's so hard and hurts so bad knowing that people whom you love look at you as a joke. I don't know how many times my sister has told me she wishes I was dead or was never born... REALLY??? That is bad. I never wished that, I only wanted her to love me... but I know that I am asking to much.
*sighs* There is more.... but for now. This is what I have to say.
I will touch on it more here and there... but all my thoughts are just running together....
~ Reese // Tama