Rodney McKay and the Day He Wore His ARRRRRRRange Sweater To Laura's Party
Waaaaay back during Podfic Appreciation Week, on 11/09/11, I wrote a drabble-ish not!fic with the purpose of A) filling the "treasure hunters" square on my au_bingo card and b) legally requiring bessyboo to podfic me. The original (un-beta'd, spur-of-the-moment) ficlet can be found over here. Of course, when I saw that I needed something to fill my "treasure hunters" square, my first thought wasn't pirates AU or Indiana Jones, but child's birthday party! Because every year from the time she was 4 until she turned 12 or so, there was a treasure hunt at E's birthday party (with the same hot pink plastic treasure chest, and the same goodies inside, and nearly the same clues every year).
And then I thought, John and Rodney!
So, here we go:
Rodney McKay and the Day He Wore His ARRRRRRRange Sweater To Laura's Party
(rated G, bb!Treasure Hunters AU, SGA, written by reena_jenkins)
The boys are both guests to Laura Cadman's birthday party. John's her year-or-so older cousin, and Rodney's in her elementary class. It's the kind of school district with the policy where, if you want to invite one kid, you have to invite the whole class, and Rodney wouldn't even be there if he had a choice (she keeps calling him Meredith after the first time Ms. Emmagen took roll, even after he got the attendance list changed and no-one else is allowed to call him that but Jeanie, and only because she's a baby and his sister), but his mother insists that he socialize with his peer group. Rodney had pointed out on the car ride over that his peer group were, technically, third graders, not the kids in his first-grade class. Aiden had eaten an entire BOTTLE OF GLITTER just last week, to see if it would make him sparkly, and had to be rushed out of school to get his stomach pumped. Rodney could have TOLD HIM that eating a bottle full of bitty glass pieces was a bad plan.
But his mother had told him that no-one likes a know-it-all, and that he needed to learn how to get along with kids his own age, and that there would be chocolate cake. Rodney had been mollified with the prospects of chocolate cake....at least, until he remembered that chocolate cake plus sugar-icing flowers on top (because Laura was such a GIRL, even if she did have the longest record of time upside down on the monkey bars, which, okay, not really that great an idea either, because all that blood rushing to your brain for so long could give you AN ANEURYSM, and he needed all the brain cells he had in order to move up a grade next year, and it had nothing to do with Rodney being a sissy that he didn't want to hang upside down, okay?) plus the party being outside in Laura's backyard (to better facilitate the treasure hunt theme of the party, the invites had said. Or, well, "Ahoy there mateys! Shiver me timbers! Let's have a bARRRRRRRRRbeque, and SEA if we can find Pirate Queen Laura's Pirate Booty! Don't forget to walk the plank!", which Rodney had understood to mean the same thing, without the terrible puns) equals BEES. Rodney was ALLERGIC TO BEES, and was about to tell his mother so, in DETAIL, when they pulled up in front of Laura's house, and he was ever-so-unfairly popped out of the car.
And then Rodney was left to contemplate death by bees, and high pollen count (he was allergic, and his throat could swell up, and then he'd ASPHYXIATE AND DIE), and sunburn which could lead to skin cancer and death, and just as he was about to drop off Laura's present on the table and then hide in the tree house 'til his mother came back in two hours, he saw someone else had had the same idea (well, probably not the same idea about death by tumbleweeds - you could have a sneezing attack from all the dust they kicked up, and then sneeze so hard you burst a blood vessel in your nose, and then BLEED TO DEATH, and Laura's mom had a lot of brambles in the back of the yard, and who knows? They could turn into spontaneous tumbleweeds in the blink of an eye, but hardly anyone besides Rodney thought of things like that - but the idea about hiding in the tree house).
There was a messy-haired boy already in the tree house, with a remote-controller in one hand, and a Batmobile driving around the floor at his feet, sitting on top of a hot pink plastic treasure chest with plastic rhinestones on the sides. The boy looked up at Rodney's intrusion, and drove the Batmobile over to Rodney's feet, and said, "Looks like you found the treasure early, too. I'm John. Who're you?"
And Rodney said, "I'm Rodney. Is that the Hot Wheels Stealth Rides Batmobile? I asked for one for Christmas, but they got me the Green Lantern car instead."
And John said, "Yup. Wanna play? It bounces off walls, too."
And Rodney said, "Sure."
And they played Batman and Nightwing (because it was John's car, so he got to be Batman, and Rodney thought Robin was kind of lame with all the shouting of "Holy I-beams, Batman!" and "Holy flypaper, Batman!" so he got to be Nightwing who at least could do flips and stuff) until Mrs. Cadman and Laura and the rest of the party came looking for the treasure chest, which they had already found, so they got the first slices of chocolate cake (well, first after Laura, because it was her party and she was the birthday girl, and she pinched hard).
And then Rodney went home with his mother (who, it turned out, had NOT abandoned him to the germ-filled PIT OF DEATH that was Laura's backyard, but instead had driven the car down the block to park, and then spent the rest of the party chatting with Mrs. Cadman and Mrs. Beckett and Mrs. Ford, instead), after telling John that he'd bring in his Hot Wheels Stealth Rides Green Lantern car, and that they'd play Justice League during recess on Monday.
[The End]
And bessyboo is writing a sequel to this, possibly about John And Rodney's Epic Justice League Adventures On The Monday After Laura's Party. When she finishes writing it, I'm going to podfic that story, and then we will have an epic and adorable bb!SGA Treasure Hunters AU'verse of fantasticness. Be excited.
And then I thought, John and Rodney!
So, here we go:
Rodney McKay and the Day He Wore His ARRRRRRRange Sweater To Laura's Party
(rated G, bb!Treasure Hunters AU, SGA, written by reena_jenkins)
The boys are both guests to Laura Cadman's birthday party. John's her year-or-so older cousin, and Rodney's in her elementary class. It's the kind of school district with the policy where, if you want to invite one kid, you have to invite the whole class, and Rodney wouldn't even be there if he had a choice (she keeps calling him Meredith after the first time Ms. Emmagen took roll, even after he got the attendance list changed and no-one else is allowed to call him that but Jeanie, and only because she's a baby and his sister), but his mother insists that he socialize with his peer group. Rodney had pointed out on the car ride over that his peer group were, technically, third graders, not the kids in his first-grade class. Aiden had eaten an entire BOTTLE OF GLITTER just last week, to see if it would make him sparkly, and had to be rushed out of school to get his stomach pumped. Rodney could have TOLD HIM that eating a bottle full of bitty glass pieces was a bad plan.
But his mother had told him that no-one likes a know-it-all, and that he needed to learn how to get along with kids his own age, and that there would be chocolate cake. Rodney had been mollified with the prospects of chocolate cake....at least, until he remembered that chocolate cake plus sugar-icing flowers on top (because Laura was such a GIRL, even if she did have the longest record of time upside down on the monkey bars, which, okay, not really that great an idea either, because all that blood rushing to your brain for so long could give you AN ANEURYSM, and he needed all the brain cells he had in order to move up a grade next year, and it had nothing to do with Rodney being a sissy that he didn't want to hang upside down, okay?) plus the party being outside in Laura's backyard (to better facilitate the treasure hunt theme of the party, the invites had said. Or, well, "Ahoy there mateys! Shiver me timbers! Let's have a bARRRRRRRRRbeque, and SEA if we can find Pirate Queen Laura's Pirate Booty! Don't forget to walk the plank!", which Rodney had understood to mean the same thing, without the terrible puns) equals BEES. Rodney was ALLERGIC TO BEES, and was about to tell his mother so, in DETAIL, when they pulled up in front of Laura's house, and he was ever-so-unfairly popped out of the car.
And then Rodney was left to contemplate death by bees, and high pollen count (he was allergic, and his throat could swell up, and then he'd ASPHYXIATE AND DIE), and sunburn which could lead to skin cancer and death, and just as he was about to drop off Laura's present on the table and then hide in the tree house 'til his mother came back in two hours, he saw someone else had had the same idea (well, probably not the same idea about death by tumbleweeds - you could have a sneezing attack from all the dust they kicked up, and then sneeze so hard you burst a blood vessel in your nose, and then BLEED TO DEATH, and Laura's mom had a lot of brambles in the back of the yard, and who knows? They could turn into spontaneous tumbleweeds in the blink of an eye, but hardly anyone besides Rodney thought of things like that - but the idea about hiding in the tree house).
There was a messy-haired boy already in the tree house, with a remote-controller in one hand, and a Batmobile driving around the floor at his feet, sitting on top of a hot pink plastic treasure chest with plastic rhinestones on the sides. The boy looked up at Rodney's intrusion, and drove the Batmobile over to Rodney's feet, and said, "Looks like you found the treasure early, too. I'm John. Who're you?"
And Rodney said, "I'm Rodney. Is that the Hot Wheels Stealth Rides Batmobile? I asked for one for Christmas, but they got me the Green Lantern car instead."
And John said, "Yup. Wanna play? It bounces off walls, too."
And Rodney said, "Sure."
And they played Batman and Nightwing (because it was John's car, so he got to be Batman, and Rodney thought Robin was kind of lame with all the shouting of "Holy I-beams, Batman!" and "Holy flypaper, Batman!" so he got to be Nightwing who at least could do flips and stuff) until Mrs. Cadman and Laura and the rest of the party came looking for the treasure chest, which they had already found, so they got the first slices of chocolate cake (well, first after Laura, because it was her party and she was the birthday girl, and she pinched hard).
And then Rodney went home with his mother (who, it turned out, had NOT abandoned him to the germ-filled PIT OF DEATH that was Laura's backyard, but instead had driven the car down the block to park, and then spent the rest of the party chatting with Mrs. Cadman and Mrs. Beckett and Mrs. Ford, instead), after telling John that he'd bring in his Hot Wheels Stealth Rides Green Lantern car, and that they'd play Justice League during recess on Monday.
[The End]
And bessyboo is writing a sequel to this, possibly about John And Rodney's Epic Justice League Adventures On The Monday After Laura's Party. When she finishes writing it, I'm going to podfic that story, and then we will have an epic and adorable bb!SGA Treasure Hunters AU'verse of fantasticness. Be excited.