Ready... aim...
Dear co-worker who is acting like a two-year-old:
Do not cross me today, you stupid, insipid, self-indulgent, petty, insolent, manipulative, cranky cow. I don't care who you are. I really don't care if it's messing with your commission. Do I see any of it? No. If you can't do your job, that's not my problem. Too bad you only have balls over email, because the back and forth email when your desk is 20 ft. away is childish. I'm not sure what I did to you to deserve this headache, but I promise you, I'm the one who's going to sleep at night.
If you send me another email about this matter, I will print it out, staple it to your head, and light it on fire.
*flicking Bic now*
Do not cross me today, you stupid, insipid, self-indulgent, petty, insolent, manipulative, cranky cow. I don't care who you are. I really don't care if it's messing with your commission. Do I see any of it? No. If you can't do your job, that's not my problem. Too bad you only have balls over email, because the back and forth email when your desk is 20 ft. away is childish. I'm not sure what I did to you to deserve this headache, but I promise you, I'm the one who's going to sleep at night.
If you send me another email about this matter, I will print it out, staple it to your head, and light it on fire.
*flicking Bic now*