RANT....
Alright, I don't have all of my thoughts in order, i just need something to put my thoughts to so that i can get them out. So if i seem to jump around, or make no sense whatsoever...don't worry about it...it probably makes about the same amount of sense to me.
So i've been dating this girl on and off now for about 9 months, mostly the only times we take breaks is because of her parents...i really like the girl...really like her...i could see myself possibly marrying her if things worked out for a while longer...i could be happy with this girl i think. Unlike most people i don't think theres just one person for all of us, so if she turns out to NOT be the one...it would hurt, i can admit that, alot, but i know that i'd find someone else. I just don't WANT to find someone else. I love this girl i think...I think that i've actually finally found what I would consider love.
The problem starts with her parents...now shes LDS, i'm LDS so ,thats great, whats even better is like me, shes not FAKE, we know that we're not perfect and we don't act like it. I mean, the girl is willing to go out ot a gay bar with me and my brother and his friends on his birthday and have a great time. Not a typical LDS girl, most of them wouldn't do that. So you know that shes really one in a millino probably litterally for me.
So being a return missionary, having the ability to go to the temple, you would think that the parents would be happy with me right? i mean, i'm a pretty good guy, i try and be a good guy around them and not be fake, i try to show them how much i love their daughter and respect her. Apparently though, thats not what they care about...apparently i came in and ruined her parents schedule for her. They wanted her to go on a mission, and because of me, she found out that she didn't want to go, that the only reason that she was going to go was because everyone else was expecting her to go. So now shes not going, so her parents are blaming this on MY influence...*shrugs* whatever, not the first time that parents have blamed me for their shortcomings or things that they can't control in their own kid. whatever. What is starting to fucking piss me off, is that they are trying to breaks us up, they're making her life a living hell because of me, they're trying to keep us apart, and actually trying to get her to move away because of me. now THAT is something that if you want to get me mad...and i mean REALLY mad...you don't do. You don't screw with my life, or the lives of the people i love. and they are, they're putting their noses where they don't belong.
Now i can see that from their point of view at times they don't really KNOW me they say, because most of the time i come over say he, have a little small chat and then me and this girl leave. But in nine months i have been over there for dinners, lunchs special occasions like birthdays...but they've NEVER gone out of their way like my family has to invite me over, or to make me feel especially WANTED at their place anyway. When i AM over there, its basically like i'm on display anyway, which no one would like, but i've put up with it because i'm trying to do my part and show them that i'm a good guy. Well they don't see it that way. they actually said a few nights ago that they might inforce a "you have to spend the same amount of time over here that you do over at his place or you can't go out" bull shit...thing...she's 21!!! for hells sake...and shes trying to live her OWN life...leave her alone let her make her own friggin decisions!
and so they make her feel horrible and she doesn't know what to do, so its hurting the relationship, and i don't know what to do because every bone in my body wants to go over and "sit" her parents down and havea "heart to heart"...but my common sense its keeping me in check and telling me that THAT obviously would only do as much damage as it would good....but DAMNIT it would sure make me feel a whole lot better, and at least let me feel like i wasn't so helpless.
Thats whats really got me right now, is just hbow much this isn't in my hands and if its one thing that ican't stand its not being in control of something that involves my life. Anyway, i'm not looking for suggestions on what to do, you can if you'd like, maybe you can help in some way. Thats not what this post is about though really, i just had no one else that i really wanted to talk to this about and needed to get it out.
I love this girl and want the best for her, and if our relationshp is causing her problems then i'll be more than willing to hurt myself and let her go. I don't want to, i've put alot of time and energy into this relationshp and think that its got alot of potential....but i don't like seeing her torn between me and her family. its not right and if her family doesn't realize it, or care...I do...
Confused, but unbeaten.
Jared/kaneda/blackbelt
So i've been dating this girl on and off now for about 9 months, mostly the only times we take breaks is because of her parents...i really like the girl...really like her...i could see myself possibly marrying her if things worked out for a while longer...i could be happy with this girl i think. Unlike most people i don't think theres just one person for all of us, so if she turns out to NOT be the one...it would hurt, i can admit that, alot, but i know that i'd find someone else. I just don't WANT to find someone else. I love this girl i think...I think that i've actually finally found what I would consider love.
The problem starts with her parents...now shes LDS, i'm LDS so ,thats great, whats even better is like me, shes not FAKE, we know that we're not perfect and we don't act like it. I mean, the girl is willing to go out ot a gay bar with me and my brother and his friends on his birthday and have a great time. Not a typical LDS girl, most of them wouldn't do that. So you know that shes really one in a millino probably litterally for me.
So being a return missionary, having the ability to go to the temple, you would think that the parents would be happy with me right? i mean, i'm a pretty good guy, i try and be a good guy around them and not be fake, i try to show them how much i love their daughter and respect her. Apparently though, thats not what they care about...apparently i came in and ruined her parents schedule for her. They wanted her to go on a mission, and because of me, she found out that she didn't want to go, that the only reason that she was going to go was because everyone else was expecting her to go. So now shes not going, so her parents are blaming this on MY influence...*shrugs* whatever, not the first time that parents have blamed me for their shortcomings or things that they can't control in their own kid. whatever. What is starting to fucking piss me off, is that they are trying to breaks us up, they're making her life a living hell because of me, they're trying to keep us apart, and actually trying to get her to move away because of me. now THAT is something that if you want to get me mad...and i mean REALLY mad...you don't do. You don't screw with my life, or the lives of the people i love. and they are, they're putting their noses where they don't belong.
Now i can see that from their point of view at times they don't really KNOW me they say, because most of the time i come over say he, have a little small chat and then me and this girl leave. But in nine months i have been over there for dinners, lunchs special occasions like birthdays...but they've NEVER gone out of their way like my family has to invite me over, or to make me feel especially WANTED at their place anyway. When i AM over there, its basically like i'm on display anyway, which no one would like, but i've put up with it because i'm trying to do my part and show them that i'm a good guy. Well they don't see it that way. they actually said a few nights ago that they might inforce a "you have to spend the same amount of time over here that you do over at his place or you can't go out" bull shit...thing...she's 21!!! for hells sake...and shes trying to live her OWN life...leave her alone let her make her own friggin decisions!
and so they make her feel horrible and she doesn't know what to do, so its hurting the relationship, and i don't know what to do because every bone in my body wants to go over and "sit" her parents down and havea "heart to heart"...but my common sense its keeping me in check and telling me that THAT obviously would only do as much damage as it would good....but DAMNIT it would sure make me feel a whole lot better, and at least let me feel like i wasn't so helpless.
Thats whats really got me right now, is just hbow much this isn't in my hands and if its one thing that ican't stand its not being in control of something that involves my life. Anyway, i'm not looking for suggestions on what to do, you can if you'd like, maybe you can help in some way. Thats not what this post is about though really, i just had no one else that i really wanted to talk to this about and needed to get it out.
I love this girl and want the best for her, and if our relationshp is causing her problems then i'll be more than willing to hurt myself and let her go. I don't want to, i've put alot of time and energy into this relationshp and think that its got alot of potential....but i don't like seeing her torn between me and her family. its not right and if her family doesn't realize it, or care...I do...
Confused, but unbeaten.
Jared/kaneda/blackbelt