(no subject)
Lol! Just reread my ubermultipost, apologies to anyone who still follows, that wasnt meant to A: be quite so public, B: quite so unfiltered, C: posted quite so many times.
It was more of an in-depth review so I can remember it in the future without the fallibility of human memory to contend with...and thus I needed to ensure a permanent record. I still go back thru this to re-read the life&death of my relationship with C, there were some fun times...The Magpie saga was a particularly fond memory...
But so yeah, on with my original reason for posting.
I do go thru hell sometimes don't I? From the 5 car crashes, 2 bike crashes, cherry picker, trees, narrowly-avoided kidney failure, shitty breakups, suicidal tendencies, self harm, mental breaks, drug dependencies, and with this nihilistic, passively suicidal, highly risky behavioural mental thing I've got goin on, I'm just puttin myself into situations that could go so totally wrong in so many ways.
Recently it's been; the motorcycles I own and the way I ride them, the relationship with hanna (that could have only ended one way!), the relationship with Kel, and the way I behaved (again, we could all see what what gonna happen couldn't we?), even the surfing in Oz...I was PETRIFIED of getting eaten by sharks in the UK ffs, and yet I was happy to surf beaches with regular reports of sharks. I still got unnerved when I felt out of my depth (lolz) at bein able to physically extract myself from the danger (water) to safety (land), as with the Green Island point incident, and the dolphin incident (same beach actually). Then we've got the skydiving, fucking EPIC RUSH but so many people do die in the sport. The deaths per year isn't very high, but in relation to the number of people doing it, it's pretty fuckin significant!
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