Hmmm...is this a dilemma?
So I had a nice date on Friday night. Cute smile, very sweet, very tall, 5 years younger than I, wants to see me again, said I was lovely. He isn't even remotely my type, but was both persistent and polite so I finally consented to dinner. I had a good time, but he didn't make my pulse race or anything. After he walked me to my Jeep I gave him a hug and thanked him for dinner and he kissed me instead of letting go. It was all right, but I was more outside of myself than anything, almost observing, and a little bemused. I dunno. His lips were like pillows and twice as thick as mine. It was an interesting sensation.
ANYWAY, he was texting me today saying he had such a great time with me blahblah and hopes to see me again...and I guess I intend to, once my play closes (I told him the next time I can have dinner is in about three weeks hahahah), but I don't know if I'll ever get that excited about him. Ugh. He's like...I don't wanna say boring because he isn't really...but maybe he's not weird enough for me?
On the other hand, there is this lame 23 year old that I'm kissing nightly in my play, and I'm just about stupid for him. Tonight I told him he smells good (god, does he ever) and asked what he wears. He got kinda fidgety and embarrassed and told me deodorant. LOL. Then I explained how most scents people wear make me feel sort of nauseated. And dude, I can smell him whenever he walks past me (I don't mind), so that must be some deodorant. *sigh* Whatever. I've recently realized that although he is very nice to me, he's not complimented me once, and I'm always saying nice shit to him, like how he did such and such particularly well on stage that time or whathaveyou (I also compliment everyone else just as much). I know he's shy, 'cause every says he's shy, and he tends to play the same sort of twitchy characters all the time, which I find adorable, but also worry about what that says about my taste...that I'm always crushing on some skinny, gawky, nerdy, artsy, Dungeons-and-Dragons-playing white boy that hardly knows I'm alive. Doesn't matter that I kiss the guy twice a night at practice...he seems sorta freaked out by me sometimes. Maybe I am freaky. I try to be cool and joke around with him. Eh.
Either way, he's totally unsuitable, too young, too skinny, too short, too wimpy, cashiers at Wal-Mart (he hasn't mentioned any dream of doing anything else in particular), and even if he decided he wanted me, I would just end up mothering him or something, because the way he is would bring out the control freak in me, and I'd just start to manage him. So really, aside from just liking him and getting over it once the play closes, just about the only other thing I could think of to do with him is fuck him a few times and then be on my merry way. LOL. Might get it out of my system...
Hahahah.
Yeah, so I'm kinda horrifying. Whatever.
Anyway, should I bother going out with the date guy again if I'm really kinda hung up (for now) on someone else? Is that fair? Or is it unfair if I don't give him a chance? Date guy is actually the first black man I've ever dated (I didn't mention it because it really doesn't matter), so it's sort of interesting to me on that level, a curiosity thing. Ugh. I dunno....!
ANYWAY, he was texting me today saying he had such a great time with me blahblah and hopes to see me again...and I guess I intend to, once my play closes (I told him the next time I can have dinner is in about three weeks hahahah), but I don't know if I'll ever get that excited about him. Ugh. He's like...I don't wanna say boring because he isn't really...but maybe he's not weird enough for me?
On the other hand, there is this lame 23 year old that I'm kissing nightly in my play, and I'm just about stupid for him. Tonight I told him he smells good (god, does he ever) and asked what he wears. He got kinda fidgety and embarrassed and told me deodorant. LOL. Then I explained how most scents people wear make me feel sort of nauseated. And dude, I can smell him whenever he walks past me (I don't mind), so that must be some deodorant. *sigh* Whatever. I've recently realized that although he is very nice to me, he's not complimented me once, and I'm always saying nice shit to him, like how he did such and such particularly well on stage that time or whathaveyou (I also compliment everyone else just as much). I know he's shy, 'cause every says he's shy, and he tends to play the same sort of twitchy characters all the time, which I find adorable, but also worry about what that says about my taste...that I'm always crushing on some skinny, gawky, nerdy, artsy, Dungeons-and-Dragons-playing white boy that hardly knows I'm alive. Doesn't matter that I kiss the guy twice a night at practice...he seems sorta freaked out by me sometimes. Maybe I am freaky. I try to be cool and joke around with him. Eh.
Either way, he's totally unsuitable, too young, too skinny, too short, too wimpy, cashiers at Wal-Mart (he hasn't mentioned any dream of doing anything else in particular), and even if he decided he wanted me, I would just end up mothering him or something, because the way he is would bring out the control freak in me, and I'd just start to manage him. So really, aside from just liking him and getting over it once the play closes, just about the only other thing I could think of to do with him is fuck him a few times and then be on my merry way. LOL. Might get it out of my system...
Hahahah.
Yeah, so I'm kinda horrifying. Whatever.
Anyway, should I bother going out with the date guy again if I'm really kinda hung up (for now) on someone else? Is that fair? Or is it unfair if I don't give him a chance? Date guy is actually the first black man I've ever dated (I didn't mention it because it really doesn't matter), so it's sort of interesting to me on that level, a curiosity thing. Ugh. I dunno....!