(no subject)
maybe its the sunshine that is, ahem, missing that has kept me up until 3 am each night as of late. and then if i analyse the thoughts that really kept me up... it isnt a damn diddly poop scoop up to the sun whether a'not these thoughts haunt me. seven months has taken such a toll on me. i was shaking with the horror of what i ruined.
i hate that. more than anything because i want to let it go and take the lesson with me and not hate everything because it can be so easily lost and i was always so guilty of causing damage, forgetting until it snuck back up on me then wanting to die from the inevitability that i ignored. bad decision making.
i hope i am forgivable in the whole scheme of things.
i hate that. more than anything because i want to let it go and take the lesson with me and not hate everything because it can be so easily lost and i was always so guilty of causing damage, forgetting until it snuck back up on me then wanting to die from the inevitability that i ignored. bad decision making.
i hope i am forgivable in the whole scheme of things.