Dancing With the Demons, Episode 3 (Part 1)
Title: Dancing With the Demons, Episode 3 (Part 1)
Author: redsrule1
Fandoms: Buffy, Angel, Dancing With the Stars
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I didn't make up the characters, the music, the shows, or the dances. I just live them sometimes.
Pairings: Gen
Characters: Just about everyone
Author's Notes: Thanks to yourlibrarian for the beta.
Summary: Nine couples, ONE winner, and you choose who becomes the champion!
Dancing With The Demons
Episode Three, Part One
[Music strikes a low chord. Clips from the previous episode are shown with the ANNOUNCER's voice over.]
ANNOUNCER
Round Two brought surprises!
[Split screen with Judges' Table on one half and HARMONY and GILES backstage with ILLYRIA on the other half.]
DRUSILLA
Nine.
WESLEY
Nine.
OZ
Eight.
[HARMONY squeals and jumps with delight, throwing her arms around GILES, who manages to cringe and look pleased at the same time.]
--------------------------------------------
ANNOUNCER
Intrigue!
[Rehearsal clip.]
[LILAH and ANGEL in dance studio.]
ANGEL
[Grabs LILAH by the wrist.] We were never friends.
LILAH
[Smiles mischievously.] No we weren't. But I understand you, and that's much more dangerous.
--------------------------------------------
ANNOUNCER
And elimination by the smallest of margins!
[Split screen shot of SEBASSIS and WILLOW on one side and DARLA and LINDSEY on the other with an edited voice-over by LORNE.]
LORNE
By just one viewer vote, the couple leaving us tonight is: Darla and Lindsey.
[DARLA glares at LINDSEY. LINDSEY, shocked, looks at SEBASSIS and WILLOW and starts to say something before his microphone is cut off.]
--------------------------------------------
ANNOUNCER
And when the dust cleared, Round One's surprise leader came out on top again!
[CLEM, in a zoot suit, dances the Charleston as BUFFY, in flapper dress and short brunette wig claps. CLEM kicks her in the backside.]
--------------------------------------------
ANNOUNCER
Two couples are gone. Who will be next? find out, on DANCING WITH THE DEMONS!
[Cue theme song, video introductions of all nine original couples. Then the camera pans live across the remaining seven couples standing on the stage, in costume.]
ANNOUNCER
Live, from Hollywood! This is DANCING WITH THE DEMONS!
[Music ends, close shot of LORNE and ILLYRIA.]
LORNE
Welcome to DANCING WITH THE DEMONS! I'm Lorne, you're host.
[ILLYRIA is looking furtively out of the corner of her eye toward the Judges' Table.]
LORNE
Um, Blueberry? …Sweetie? …God-king of the Primordium?
ILLYRIA
[Distractedly.] You have introduced me sufficiently.
LORNE
Okay then. I see that our Illyria has noticed a change at the Judges' Table, so let's go there right now.
[Camera pulls back to include the Judges' Table in the frame. DROGYN sits on the left, WESLEY sits in his usual place in the center, fiddling with what appears to be a small box. OZ is seated on the right.]
LORNE cont.
We have a new member of our judging panel starting tonight. Joining us will be Drogyn The Battlebrand. Welcome, Drogyn. [CROWD applauds.] How ya' doin'?
DROGYN
My neck remains sore from my death and I am still somewhat disoriented from my recent resurrection. Ask me no further questions.
LORNE
Riiight. I'll try to keep that in mind when we need to find out how the contestants scored! [Sighs.] Unfortunately, Drusilla was unable to continue with us for personal reasons. We wish her luck in all of her future endeavors. --Well, maybe not all, that kinda depends on what she's up to. But anyway, still on our panel of judges is Daniel Osbourne, and of course, our head judge, Wesley Wyndam-Price. --What's that you got there, Wes?
[WESLEY starts as if his first impulse was to hide it, then stops, knowing it is too late.]
WESLEY
It's a box, Lorne.
LORNE
I see that. Did you have something to share with us?
WESLEY
Um, not really, no. It --er, it seems to be a laxative of some sort. I am quite at a loss to explain it, actually. It was here when I sat down. Is it yours, Drogyn?
DROGYN
It is not.
[WESLEY turns to look at OZ who is shaking his head ]
WESLEY
Right, then. It's a mystery to us all, Lorne.
[LORNE has clasped his palm over his face, and pulls it down and off his chin. He gives the camera a big, toothy smile.]
LORNE
So, tonight our couples will be dancing either the Tango or the Mambo, and let's get right to our first couple. They went from a second place tie in Round One to the bottom of the Leader Board in Round Two. It's Spike and Faith!
[Cut to montage.]
--------------------------------------------
ANNOUNCER
Last time, SPIKE and FAITH's Quickstep pushed the boundaries a little too far!
[Episode clip.]
[SPIKE and FAITH stand with LORNE at the Judges' Table.]
WESLEY
That routine had everything but the kitchen sink, including lifts, which as I've said before, are illegal!
--------------------------------------------
[SPIKE and FAITH sit together in front of the interview camera. As this interview took place shortly after their last dance, they are still in costume.]
SPIKE
"Lifts" my arse.
FAITH
He totally overreacted.
SPIKE
We've got the strength of a vampire, plus the strength of a Slayer. Why shouldn't we take advantage of that?
FAITH
[Makes a fist and curls her arm up to show off her bicep.] Yeah, see that, Wes? That's Slayer strength!
SPIKE
And she might just use it on you!
FAITH
[Slapping his chest.] Shut up! I didn't mean it like that.
--------------------------------------------
FAITH
[Solo interview.]
We've got the Tango this week. I think we can pull it off.
--------------------------------------------
[Rehearsal clip.]
[SPIKE and FAITH in a dance studio, practicing. FAITH holds a bouquet of long-stemmed roses.]
SPIKE
Those the roses for our routine?
FAITH
No, Spike, these are the roses you sent me to thank me for being such a good teacher. They're lovely, aren't they?
SPIKE
I din't send you any roses.
FAITH
No, of course not. That would be thoughtful. These are from my secret admirer.
SPIKE
So they are the ones for our routine, then. [Takes one of the roses out of the bouquet.] 'Cuz I knew you didn't have a secret admirer.
FAITH
Yes, I got that.
SPIKE
So you gonna put this in your mouth when we dance? [Puts the stem of the rose between his teeth.]
FAITH
After the thorns are removed.
[SPIKE nods coolly. He takes the rose out of his mouth and sets it on a table.]
SPIKE
[Awkwardly.] Left somethin' in the kitchen. Be right back.
[SPIKE disappears into the kitchenette, closing the door behind him. The camera remains on FAITH.]
SPIKE cont.
AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGHHHH!
FAITH
Left your dignity in there, did you?
--------------------------------------------
SPIKE
[Interview.]
Din't like bein' in last place on the Leader Board last time. But we weren't in the Bottom Two, so I guess the fans saved us, so-- [Smiles at the camera and gives two thumbs up, adding a wink.] Bet Angel doesn't have enough fans to save him like that!
--------------------------------------------
[Rehearsal clip.]
[SPIKE and FAITH sit at a table in the dance studio, looking at a laptop.]
FAITH
Lilah and Angel got more votes than we did.
SPIKE
What? That lumbering hulk?
FAITH
So did Xander and Anya, and Harmony and Giles. And besides, I thought you didn't care about Angel.
SPIKE
I don't. That's why I wanna beat 'im.
FAITH
What?
SPIKE
Oh, look, Buffy tied us. Wait, I thought those results were supposed to be secret.
FAITH
I know a guy.
--------------------------------------------
FAITH
[Interview.]
Buffy and Clem have been in first place. They got this whole "cute" thing goin'. But that's only gonna get them so far. Me an' Spike, we got something more goin' for us. [Winks and blows a kiss at the camera.]
--------------------------------------------
[Montage ends.]
ANNOUNCER
Dancing the Tango: William The Bloody and Faith Lahane!
[FAITH stands in the middle of the dance floor, wearing a sleek, sparkly red dress with a high slit on the left side. Her hair is pulled back in a bun, but some stray curls hang to the sides, like a Flamenco dancer. She holds a bouquet of long-stemmed red roses and sniffs them as she stands there. SPIKE appears at one side of the stage, wearing a Royal Navy officer's dress uniform from the nineteenth century and strikes a dashing pose, chin held high. The music hits a dramatic chord as a spotlight hits him. FAITH turns sharply to look at him, and her eyes widen and jaw drops with infatuation.]
[Cut to backstage. LILAH and ANGEL sit on the couch.]
ANGEL
Oh, please.
[Cut to ballroom. An instrumental version of the "Habanera" from "Carmen" plays.]
[SPIKE descends the stairs with a haughty air, taking no notice of FAITH, who runs up to meet him at the foot of the stairs. She pulls a rose out of the bouquet and drops it at his feet. He ignores it, stepping over it to continue walking onto the dance floor. He walks toward the audience, flashing his best "GQ" smile toward VI and AMANDA who sit in the front row at the side of the floor. FAITH picks up the rose, rushes up to SPIKE, and drops it at his feet again. This time he picks it up, sniffs it, and looks at FAITH, who is hiding most of her face behind the bouquet, but bats her eyes seductively at him. He takes the bouquet in his hand and slowly pulls it away from her, as if undressing her. He drops the bouquet in front of VI and AMANDA, then grabs FAITH and pulls her forcefully against him. She gasps, then he takes her into dance hold and they begin doing some sharp Tango steps.]
[SPIKE rolls FAITH out away from him and lets go, and she does a series of turns away from him. Meanwhile, SPIKE approaches VI and AMANDA, raising an eyebrow and giving them his best "Hey, baby" smile. VI and AMANDA, who is now holding the bouquet, squee.]
[Cut to backstage.]
ANGEL
Oh, come on, like that would ever happen. Girls screaming over Spike.
[LILAH raises an eyebrow. Cut to ballroom.]
[FAITH turns to see SPIKE flirting with the women in the audience. She pulls an angry face and runs up to him, spinning him to face her and takes him in dance position as they continue with more Tango moves.]
[SPIKE rolls FAITH out a second time and again approaches VI and AMANDA. FAITH runs up to them before SPIKE gets there, and, with a bit of difficulty, wrests the bouquet from AMANDA. FAITH pulls the remaining roses out of the bouquet and is left with a stake. She runs up and mimes staking him in the chest. SPIKE mimes his death and falls, and FAITH also collapses to the floor as the music ends. The CROWD rises to its feet and roars with applause.]
[Cut to backstage.]
ANGEL
[Disappointed.] I thought she was gonna do it for real.
[Cut to ballroom. SPIKE stands, then offers a hand and helps FAITH up. He escorts her to LORNE and the Judges' Table.]
LORNE
Hoo-eee! Nice! And great twist on the "Carmen" story! Wesley, what are we looking for in the Tango?
WESLEY
Well, Lorne, we're looking for sharp, staccato movements, cat-like footwork, and lots of drama.
LORNE
And did we find that here in Spike and Faith's "Carmen?"
WESLEY
It was a great routine. [CROWD cheers.]
LORNE
But…?
WESLEY
No "buts". Just, "it was a great routine." [CROWD cheers again. WESLEY smiles at them.]
LORNE
Well. Okay. Um, Oz, how about you?
OZ
Works for me.
LORNE
[Eye roll] So anything you'd like to add about the routine, Oz?
OZ
Oh, it was good. I liked it.
LORNE
I was a fool for asking. Okay, Drogyn.. What's your critique of their routine?
DROGYN
Oh. Yes. It was enjoyable to watch. [CROWD cheers.]
LORNE
So it's meddlesome priests all around, is it?
SPIKE
I know you. What are you doin' 'ere? Where's Dru?
DROGYN
[Eyes turning angry] Ask me no questions.
SPIKE
Yeah, yeah, I remember the schtick. I also remember that you never actually told me who the goalkeeper for Manchester United is. But I'm askin' anyway. Where's Dru?
DROGYN
I assume you are referring to my predecessor at this Judges' Table. I do not know where she is.
SPIKE
So why are you here?
DROGYN
Both Drusilla the judge and Reg the sound engineer were let go for fear that between them they might prematurely reveal the outcome of this competition. I was chosen to come in and take over.
LORNE
Yeah, okay, thanks, Drogyn. We were trying to spin that a little differently, but that's all right.
SPIKE
Hmm. Glad I wasn't the one who had to tell Reg.
FAITH
Or Dru.
SPIKE
Yeah, but Reg… I mean, you ever meet that guy?
FAITH
You got a point.
LORNE
All right, kiddies, enough chit chat. Drogyn, what did you think of their routine?
DROGYN
[Glares at LORNE for a moment, then looks at SPIKE and FAITH.] Spike's pose at the beginning was a bit too theatrical, reminding me more of P.T. Barnum than a military officer. [CROWD boos, but DROGYN ignores them and continues speaking without a pause.] The opening verse was danced with less than the proper staccato movement, and the glissando in the thirty-fifth measure passed without so much as a notice by the dancers, a wasted oppportunity. By and large the theme of the dance was well executed, although Faith's difficulty in re-acquring the bouquet from the audience member was distracting and pulled me out of the routine. In the final analysis, considering the amount of time you've been in training, it was, on the whole, well done. And Tomasz Kuszcak was goalkeeper in Manchester United's most recent match, a 1-0 win against Middlesbrough.
FAITH
Spike threw the bouquet too close to the audience. Amanda wasn't supposed to pick it up.
SPIKE
We won that match? [To FAITH] See what I miss when you make me practice so much?
LORNE
All right, you two go on backstage and talk to Illyria. [Motions SPIKE and FAITH off camera.] In the meantime, we'll get back to running a TV show here and remind you to vote for your favorites as soon as this episode is over, once all seven couples have danced. Illyria?
[Cut to backstage, where ILLYRIA stands with SPIKE and FAITH. LILAH and ANGEL sit on the couch in the background.]
ILLYRIA
The new judge is here to take over.
FAITH
He's certainly taking over the criticism.
ILLYRIA
That was Head Judge Wesley's domain.
SPIKE
Percy seems to be happy letting Drogyn have it. The audience seems to like Wes better for it.
ILLYRIA
The audience does not respect strength. Bespectacled One had the courage to speak his mind even when it was unpopular.
FAITH
"Bespec--?"
ILLYRIA
They will pass judgement on you now.
[Cut to Judges' Table.]
ANNOUNCER
Will the judges please reveal their scores? Drogyn the Battlebrand?
DROGYN
Eight.
ANNOUNCER
Wesley Wyndam-Price?
WESLEY
Eight.
ANNOUNCER
Daniel Osbourne?
OZ
Nine.
[Cut to backstage.]
ILLYRIA
The judges have given you a score of twenty-five.
SPIKE
Ha! [To FAITH] Betcha "Angle" can't beat that.
ANGEL
I'm sitting right here… "Willy."
SPIKE
Oh, I'm sorry. Didn't see you there, mate.
ANGEL
You've never been that observant, Spike.
ILLYRIA
Quiet, half-breeds. We must return our attention to the ballroom.
[Cut to LORNE, who is looking down and straightening his jacket.]
LORNE
[Looks up, surprised.] Oh. [Smiles.] Next up, they've given us two relatively consistent performances. Can they make it a third? It's Lilah and Angel!
[Cut to montage.]
--------------------------------------------
ANNOUNCER
In Round One, the judges liked their Waltz, but in Round Two, they felt their Quickstep lacked something.
--------------------------------------------
[Episode clip.]
[LILAH and ANGEL stand with LORNE at the Judges' Table.]
WESLEY
While it was an adequate routine, it was rather lackluster.
OZ
Last week had an edge that this week didn't.
DRUSILLA
Daddy didn't sing to me tonight.
--------------------------------------------
ANNOUNCER
But at least they didn't upset the judges.
--------------------------------------------
WESLEY
It was perfectly acceptable.
--------------------------------------------
ANNOUNCER
Can they get their edge back and remain on the judges' good side as they try their first Latin dance?
--------------------------------------------
ANGEL
[Interview.]
We did okay last week. We were third, so that's still okay. But I guess Lilah was right about one thing: We do better if we work together. So I'm letting her have more input again this week.
--------------------------------------------
[Rehearsal clip.]
[LILAH and ANGEL standing in a dance studio.]
LILAH
It's much better if we do it this way.
ANGEL
It's not.
LILAH
It is.
ANGEL
It's not.
LILAH
It is! Spike would do it this way.
ANGEL
Spike also almost got eliminated last time.
--------------------------------------------
ANGEL
[Interview]
Despite what she said before, she's trying to motivate me by using Spike. Like I care. But at least if she's concentrating on using that angle, it's harmless enough. Keep her out of trouble. At least Spike's not dancing with Buffy. I could have danced with Buffy. As frustrating as this is, there's no danger of perfect happiness.
--------------------------------------------
[Rehearsal clip.]
[LILAH and ANGEL dancing. ANGEL attempts to lead LILAH into some quick swivels, but he trips himself up and they stop.]
ANGEL
Damn!
--------------------------------------------
LILAH
[Interview]
Well, he's less broody this week. I think he enjoyed seeing Spike in the bottom two. And it's nice to get a chance at one of the Latin dances.
--------------------------------------------
[Rehearsal clip.]
[ANGEL attempting to lead LILAH into the swivels. He misses again, and they stop.]
ANGEL
Heh. I'm supposed to be the teacher, and I'm the one screwing up that step.
LILAH
I've got better Latin hips than you, too. [Pats ANGEL's belly.] But you keep workin' on it. It's slimming you down.
--------------------------------------------
ANGEL
[Interview]
Or I could have danced with Cordelia. Oh, I guess not, 'because she's part demon now. But Cordy wouldn't've made fun of me working out. She understands the importance of looking your best.
--------------------------------------------
[Rehearsal clip.]
[LILAH sits at a table at the end of the dance floor, reading a newspaper and drinking a cup of coffee. ANGEL emerges from the restroom, wearing gym clothes, carrying a gym bag, and heading for the front door.]
LILAH
You're going to the gym again?
ANGEL
We're done for the day. And it's dark out.
--------------------------------------------
LILAH
[Interview.]
He's a little extra self-conscious after those comments in the Results Show last time. He looked in the mirror a lot before, but now I'm wondering if he wouldn't rather just dance with his reflection than with me.
--------------------------------------------
[Rehearsal clip.]
[ANGEL leads LILAH into the swivels, staring into the mirror the whole time. As they turn away from the mirror, he cranes his neck around to try to see and trips himself.]
ANGEL
Damn it!
LILAH
It's your own damn fault! Try looking at your partner once in a while!
ANGEL
I was!
LILAH
A-ha! I knew it!
ANGEL
No, I mean-- I was looking at-- do I look pale next to you?
LILAH
Honey, you're a vampire. You look pale next to snow.
--------------------------------------------
ANGEL
[Interview.]
I think Dru kind of freaks Lilah out. Guess that's understandable, after that whole locking-her-and-the-other-lawyers-in-the-room-with-Darla-and-Dru-in-a-feeding-frenzy thing. But at least I was able to cheer her up.
--------------------------------------------
[Rehearsal clip.]
[LILAH sits at a table, reading a newspaper and drinking coffee. ANGEL enters, carrying a gym bag.]
LILAH
[Barely looking up]. 'Mornin', partner. [Does a double-take.] What the--?
ANGEL
Whaddaya think?
LILAH
[Stands up and walks over to ANGEL.] You're-- you're-- [laughs.]
ANGEL
Tan?
LILAH
[Still giggling.] Orange.
ANGEL
No, I can't be. I'm tan. The bottle said "No pumpkin skin or your money back."
LILAH
You got a refund coming. If you're gonna use artificial tanning lotion, Sweetie, you gotta spring for the good stuff.
ANGEL
[Reaches into his gym bag and pulls out a bottle of tanning lotion.] See, it says right here: "As good as the expensive stuff."
LILAH
Angel, who are you gonna trust? A lawyer or an advertising executive?
[ANGEL pauses, considering.]
LILAH cont.
Okay, I know that's a poser, but come on.
ANGEL
A lawyer. But just barely.
--------------------------------------------
[Montage ends.]
ANNOUNCER
Dancing the Mambo: Lilah Morgan and Angel!
[LILAH and ANGEL stand facing one another in the middle of the dance floor. She is wearing a knee-length, sleeveless pink dress, and he wears a black Latin shirt and pants. ANGEL points at the floor and steps deliberately through a basic Mambo pattern, as if trying to teach LILAH how to do it. LILAH tries it, and doesn't get it.]
["Johnny's Mambo" from "Dirty Dancing" plays.]
[ANGEL shows LILAH the pattern again, and this time she does better. He takes her into dance hold and they step slowly and carefully through the pattern. Succeeding at this, they repeat the pattern faster and faster until they are dancing at full speed, at which time ANGEL leads LILAH into a series of spins travelling down the floor.]
[Cut to backstage, where GUNN and CORDELIA sit on the couch.]
GUNN
That kinda looked like me when we first started the Cha Cha.
CORDELIA
It kinda looks like you now.
[Cut to ballroom. LILAH and ANGEL perform more intricate Mambo moves until ANGEL lands in a crouch, feet wide apart. He has both of LILAH's hands in his and leads her into a series of quick, sharp swivels moving first to the right, then to the left. ANGEL balances her swivels by swaying his hips back and forth.]
[Cut to backstage.]
GUNN
Man, those swivels are tight! How come we didn't do any moves like that in our Latin dances?
CORDELIA
Because you don't have hips, remember?
GUNN
Why you gotta be hatin'? You bring a brother's confidence right down.
CORDELIA
Got my game face on. Nobody better get in my way, and that includes you.
GUNN
Oh yeah, I forgot about that.
[Cut to ballroom. As the music nears its climax, ANGEL throws LILAH into a series of spins down the floor. Without touching her, he does Latin walks alongside her. Without stopping or even looking at him, LILAH suddenly does a full body drop. ANGEL catches her with one hand behind her back and the other stretched up over his head as he leans over her, looking into her eyes. The music ends, and the CROWD cheers.]
[ANGEL pulls LILAH up to her feet and walks her over to LORNE and the Judges' Table.]
LORNE
Hot, hot, hot! And what an ending! Wes, what are we looking for in a Mambo?
WESLEY
We're looking for sharp, staccato movement here as well, Lorne, but with sexy, Latin movements rather than the cat-like steps of Tango. We're looking for lots of hip action and we want to see a definite pause before breaking on the "two" count.
LORNE
And did we see that here?
WESLEY
We did, actually. [CROWD cheers.] This routine had no gimmicks, little "theme," just some nice, clean, crisp Mambo. Well done. [CROWD applauds.]
LORNE
Wow, I actually get the feeling you would have said that even if you weren't trying to be Mr. Congeniality tonight. Oz, whaddaya say?
OZ
Nice job.
LORNE
Okay, and Drogyn?
OZ
Hey, I wasn't finished!
LORNE
What? Seriously? Okay, go ahead.
OZ
Nah, I'm just messin' with ya'.
LORNE
That's funny, 'cause the Host needs a little more stress in his life. Okay, Drogyn, what did you think?
DROGYN
[Glares at LORNE again and sighs.] The opening sequence took a little too long to develop. Your dance didn't hit its stride until the second verse. The spin series at the end echoed the series at the beginning well without being repetitive. You broke precisely on "two" most of the time, except you lost it for a few measures during the bridge to the final chorus. While Angel's hip motion was adequate, it was not up to the standard for a teacher. In the third stanza, you--
LORNE
Okay, okay. Just sum up.
DROGYN
A well executed routine.
LORNE
Good enough. [Motions LILAH and ANGEL off camera.] You two head on backstage. Two couples down, five to go, and the judges seemed pleased so far tonight. Will Lilah and Angel's scores reflect that? And will the other couples measure up? Find out when DANCING WITH THE DEMONS returns!
Tune in Thursdays for more episodes on redsrule1.
Author: redsrule1
Fandoms: Buffy, Angel, Dancing With the Stars
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I didn't make up the characters, the music, the shows, or the dances. I just live them sometimes.
Pairings: Gen
Characters: Just about everyone
Author's Notes: Thanks to yourlibrarian for the beta.
Summary: Nine couples, ONE winner, and you choose who becomes the champion!
Dancing With The Demons
Episode Three, Part One
[Music strikes a low chord. Clips from the previous episode are shown with the ANNOUNCER's voice over.]
ANNOUNCER
Round Two brought surprises!
[Split screen with Judges' Table on one half and HARMONY and GILES backstage with ILLYRIA on the other half.]
DRUSILLA
Nine.
WESLEY
Nine.
OZ
Eight.
[HARMONY squeals and jumps with delight, throwing her arms around GILES, who manages to cringe and look pleased at the same time.]
--------------------------------------------
ANNOUNCER
Intrigue!
[Rehearsal clip.]
[LILAH and ANGEL in dance studio.]
ANGEL
[Grabs LILAH by the wrist.] We were never friends.
LILAH
[Smiles mischievously.] No we weren't. But I understand you, and that's much more dangerous.
--------------------------------------------
ANNOUNCER
And elimination by the smallest of margins!
[Split screen shot of SEBASSIS and WILLOW on one side and DARLA and LINDSEY on the other with an edited voice-over by LORNE.]
LORNE
By just one viewer vote, the couple leaving us tonight is: Darla and Lindsey.
[DARLA glares at LINDSEY. LINDSEY, shocked, looks at SEBASSIS and WILLOW and starts to say something before his microphone is cut off.]
--------------------------------------------
ANNOUNCER
And when the dust cleared, Round One's surprise leader came out on top again!
[CLEM, in a zoot suit, dances the Charleston as BUFFY, in flapper dress and short brunette wig claps. CLEM kicks her in the backside.]
--------------------------------------------
ANNOUNCER
Two couples are gone. Who will be next? find out, on DANCING WITH THE DEMONS!
[Cue theme song, video introductions of all nine original couples. Then the camera pans live across the remaining seven couples standing on the stage, in costume.]
ANNOUNCER
Live, from Hollywood! This is DANCING WITH THE DEMONS!
[Music ends, close shot of LORNE and ILLYRIA.]
LORNE
Welcome to DANCING WITH THE DEMONS! I'm Lorne, you're host.
[ILLYRIA is looking furtively out of the corner of her eye toward the Judges' Table.]
LORNE
Um, Blueberry? …Sweetie? …God-king of the Primordium?
ILLYRIA
[Distractedly.] You have introduced me sufficiently.
LORNE
Okay then. I see that our Illyria has noticed a change at the Judges' Table, so let's go there right now.
[Camera pulls back to include the Judges' Table in the frame. DROGYN sits on the left, WESLEY sits in his usual place in the center, fiddling with what appears to be a small box. OZ is seated on the right.]
LORNE cont.
We have a new member of our judging panel starting tonight. Joining us will be Drogyn The Battlebrand. Welcome, Drogyn. [CROWD applauds.] How ya' doin'?
DROGYN
My neck remains sore from my death and I am still somewhat disoriented from my recent resurrection. Ask me no further questions.
LORNE
Riiight. I'll try to keep that in mind when we need to find out how the contestants scored! [Sighs.] Unfortunately, Drusilla was unable to continue with us for personal reasons. We wish her luck in all of her future endeavors. --Well, maybe not all, that kinda depends on what she's up to. But anyway, still on our panel of judges is Daniel Osbourne, and of course, our head judge, Wesley Wyndam-Price. --What's that you got there, Wes?
[WESLEY starts as if his first impulse was to hide it, then stops, knowing it is too late.]
WESLEY
It's a box, Lorne.
LORNE
I see that. Did you have something to share with us?
WESLEY
Um, not really, no. It --er, it seems to be a laxative of some sort. I am quite at a loss to explain it, actually. It was here when I sat down. Is it yours, Drogyn?
DROGYN
It is not.
[WESLEY turns to look at OZ who is shaking his head ]
WESLEY
Right, then. It's a mystery to us all, Lorne.
[LORNE has clasped his palm over his face, and pulls it down and off his chin. He gives the camera a big, toothy smile.]
LORNE
So, tonight our couples will be dancing either the Tango or the Mambo, and let's get right to our first couple. They went from a second place tie in Round One to the bottom of the Leader Board in Round Two. It's Spike and Faith!
[Cut to montage.]
--------------------------------------------
ANNOUNCER
Last time, SPIKE and FAITH's Quickstep pushed the boundaries a little too far!
[Episode clip.]
[SPIKE and FAITH stand with LORNE at the Judges' Table.]
WESLEY
That routine had everything but the kitchen sink, including lifts, which as I've said before, are illegal!
--------------------------------------------
[SPIKE and FAITH sit together in front of the interview camera. As this interview took place shortly after their last dance, they are still in costume.]
SPIKE
"Lifts" my arse.
FAITH
He totally overreacted.
SPIKE
We've got the strength of a vampire, plus the strength of a Slayer. Why shouldn't we take advantage of that?
FAITH
[Makes a fist and curls her arm up to show off her bicep.] Yeah, see that, Wes? That's Slayer strength!
SPIKE
And she might just use it on you!
FAITH
[Slapping his chest.] Shut up! I didn't mean it like that.
--------------------------------------------
FAITH
[Solo interview.]
We've got the Tango this week. I think we can pull it off.
--------------------------------------------
[Rehearsal clip.]
[SPIKE and FAITH in a dance studio, practicing. FAITH holds a bouquet of long-stemmed roses.]
SPIKE
Those the roses for our routine?
FAITH
No, Spike, these are the roses you sent me to thank me for being such a good teacher. They're lovely, aren't they?
SPIKE
I din't send you any roses.
FAITH
No, of course not. That would be thoughtful. These are from my secret admirer.
SPIKE
So they are the ones for our routine, then. [Takes one of the roses out of the bouquet.] 'Cuz I knew you didn't have a secret admirer.
FAITH
Yes, I got that.
SPIKE
So you gonna put this in your mouth when we dance? [Puts the stem of the rose between his teeth.]
FAITH
After the thorns are removed.
[SPIKE nods coolly. He takes the rose out of his mouth and sets it on a table.]
SPIKE
[Awkwardly.] Left somethin' in the kitchen. Be right back.
[SPIKE disappears into the kitchenette, closing the door behind him. The camera remains on FAITH.]
SPIKE cont.
AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGHHHH!
FAITH
Left your dignity in there, did you?
--------------------------------------------
SPIKE
[Interview.]
Din't like bein' in last place on the Leader Board last time. But we weren't in the Bottom Two, so I guess the fans saved us, so-- [Smiles at the camera and gives two thumbs up, adding a wink.] Bet Angel doesn't have enough fans to save him like that!
--------------------------------------------
[Rehearsal clip.]
[SPIKE and FAITH sit at a table in the dance studio, looking at a laptop.]
FAITH
Lilah and Angel got more votes than we did.
SPIKE
What? That lumbering hulk?
FAITH
So did Xander and Anya, and Harmony and Giles. And besides, I thought you didn't care about Angel.
SPIKE
I don't. That's why I wanna beat 'im.
FAITH
What?
SPIKE
Oh, look, Buffy tied us. Wait, I thought those results were supposed to be secret.
FAITH
I know a guy.
--------------------------------------------
FAITH
[Interview.]
Buffy and Clem have been in first place. They got this whole "cute" thing goin'. But that's only gonna get them so far. Me an' Spike, we got something more goin' for us. [Winks and blows a kiss at the camera.]
--------------------------------------------
[Montage ends.]
ANNOUNCER
Dancing the Tango: William The Bloody and Faith Lahane!
[FAITH stands in the middle of the dance floor, wearing a sleek, sparkly red dress with a high slit on the left side. Her hair is pulled back in a bun, but some stray curls hang to the sides, like a Flamenco dancer. She holds a bouquet of long-stemmed red roses and sniffs them as she stands there. SPIKE appears at one side of the stage, wearing a Royal Navy officer's dress uniform from the nineteenth century and strikes a dashing pose, chin held high. The music hits a dramatic chord as a spotlight hits him. FAITH turns sharply to look at him, and her eyes widen and jaw drops with infatuation.]
[Cut to backstage. LILAH and ANGEL sit on the couch.]
ANGEL
Oh, please.
[Cut to ballroom. An instrumental version of the "Habanera" from "Carmen" plays.]
[SPIKE descends the stairs with a haughty air, taking no notice of FAITH, who runs up to meet him at the foot of the stairs. She pulls a rose out of the bouquet and drops it at his feet. He ignores it, stepping over it to continue walking onto the dance floor. He walks toward the audience, flashing his best "GQ" smile toward VI and AMANDA who sit in the front row at the side of the floor. FAITH picks up the rose, rushes up to SPIKE, and drops it at his feet again. This time he picks it up, sniffs it, and looks at FAITH, who is hiding most of her face behind the bouquet, but bats her eyes seductively at him. He takes the bouquet in his hand and slowly pulls it away from her, as if undressing her. He drops the bouquet in front of VI and AMANDA, then grabs FAITH and pulls her forcefully against him. She gasps, then he takes her into dance hold and they begin doing some sharp Tango steps.]
[SPIKE rolls FAITH out away from him and lets go, and she does a series of turns away from him. Meanwhile, SPIKE approaches VI and AMANDA, raising an eyebrow and giving them his best "Hey, baby" smile. VI and AMANDA, who is now holding the bouquet, squee.]
[Cut to backstage.]
ANGEL
Oh, come on, like that would ever happen. Girls screaming over Spike.
[LILAH raises an eyebrow. Cut to ballroom.]
[FAITH turns to see SPIKE flirting with the women in the audience. She pulls an angry face and runs up to him, spinning him to face her and takes him in dance position as they continue with more Tango moves.]
[SPIKE rolls FAITH out a second time and again approaches VI and AMANDA. FAITH runs up to them before SPIKE gets there, and, with a bit of difficulty, wrests the bouquet from AMANDA. FAITH pulls the remaining roses out of the bouquet and is left with a stake. She runs up and mimes staking him in the chest. SPIKE mimes his death and falls, and FAITH also collapses to the floor as the music ends. The CROWD rises to its feet and roars with applause.]
[Cut to backstage.]
ANGEL
[Disappointed.] I thought she was gonna do it for real.
[Cut to ballroom. SPIKE stands, then offers a hand and helps FAITH up. He escorts her to LORNE and the Judges' Table.]
LORNE
Hoo-eee! Nice! And great twist on the "Carmen" story! Wesley, what are we looking for in the Tango?
WESLEY
Well, Lorne, we're looking for sharp, staccato movements, cat-like footwork, and lots of drama.
LORNE
And did we find that here in Spike and Faith's "Carmen?"
WESLEY
It was a great routine. [CROWD cheers.]
LORNE
But…?
WESLEY
No "buts". Just, "it was a great routine." [CROWD cheers again. WESLEY smiles at them.]
LORNE
Well. Okay. Um, Oz, how about you?
OZ
Works for me.
LORNE
[Eye roll] So anything you'd like to add about the routine, Oz?
OZ
Oh, it was good. I liked it.
LORNE
I was a fool for asking. Okay, Drogyn.. What's your critique of their routine?
DROGYN
Oh. Yes. It was enjoyable to watch. [CROWD cheers.]
LORNE
So it's meddlesome priests all around, is it?
SPIKE
I know you. What are you doin' 'ere? Where's Dru?
DROGYN
[Eyes turning angry] Ask me no questions.
SPIKE
Yeah, yeah, I remember the schtick. I also remember that you never actually told me who the goalkeeper for Manchester United is. But I'm askin' anyway. Where's Dru?
DROGYN
I assume you are referring to my predecessor at this Judges' Table. I do not know where she is.
SPIKE
So why are you here?
DROGYN
Both Drusilla the judge and Reg the sound engineer were let go for fear that between them they might prematurely reveal the outcome of this competition. I was chosen to come in and take over.
LORNE
Yeah, okay, thanks, Drogyn. We were trying to spin that a little differently, but that's all right.
SPIKE
Hmm. Glad I wasn't the one who had to tell Reg.
FAITH
Or Dru.
SPIKE
Yeah, but Reg… I mean, you ever meet that guy?
FAITH
You got a point.
LORNE
All right, kiddies, enough chit chat. Drogyn, what did you think of their routine?
DROGYN
[Glares at LORNE for a moment, then looks at SPIKE and FAITH.] Spike's pose at the beginning was a bit too theatrical, reminding me more of P.T. Barnum than a military officer. [CROWD boos, but DROGYN ignores them and continues speaking without a pause.] The opening verse was danced with less than the proper staccato movement, and the glissando in the thirty-fifth measure passed without so much as a notice by the dancers, a wasted oppportunity. By and large the theme of the dance was well executed, although Faith's difficulty in re-acquring the bouquet from the audience member was distracting and pulled me out of the routine. In the final analysis, considering the amount of time you've been in training, it was, on the whole, well done. And Tomasz Kuszcak was goalkeeper in Manchester United's most recent match, a 1-0 win against Middlesbrough.
FAITH
Spike threw the bouquet too close to the audience. Amanda wasn't supposed to pick it up.
SPIKE
We won that match? [To FAITH] See what I miss when you make me practice so much?
LORNE
All right, you two go on backstage and talk to Illyria. [Motions SPIKE and FAITH off camera.] In the meantime, we'll get back to running a TV show here and remind you to vote for your favorites as soon as this episode is over, once all seven couples have danced. Illyria?
[Cut to backstage, where ILLYRIA stands with SPIKE and FAITH. LILAH and ANGEL sit on the couch in the background.]
ILLYRIA
The new judge is here to take over.
FAITH
He's certainly taking over the criticism.
ILLYRIA
That was Head Judge Wesley's domain.
SPIKE
Percy seems to be happy letting Drogyn have it. The audience seems to like Wes better for it.
ILLYRIA
The audience does not respect strength. Bespectacled One had the courage to speak his mind even when it was unpopular.
FAITH
"Bespec--?"
ILLYRIA
They will pass judgement on you now.
[Cut to Judges' Table.]
ANNOUNCER
Will the judges please reveal their scores? Drogyn the Battlebrand?
DROGYN
Eight.
ANNOUNCER
Wesley Wyndam-Price?
WESLEY
Eight.
ANNOUNCER
Daniel Osbourne?
OZ
Nine.
[Cut to backstage.]
ILLYRIA
The judges have given you a score of twenty-five.
SPIKE
Ha! [To FAITH] Betcha "Angle" can't beat that.
ANGEL
I'm sitting right here… "Willy."
SPIKE
Oh, I'm sorry. Didn't see you there, mate.
ANGEL
You've never been that observant, Spike.
ILLYRIA
Quiet, half-breeds. We must return our attention to the ballroom.
[Cut to LORNE, who is looking down and straightening his jacket.]
LORNE
[Looks up, surprised.] Oh. [Smiles.] Next up, they've given us two relatively consistent performances. Can they make it a third? It's Lilah and Angel!
[Cut to montage.]
--------------------------------------------
ANNOUNCER
In Round One, the judges liked their Waltz, but in Round Two, they felt their Quickstep lacked something.
--------------------------------------------
[Episode clip.]
[LILAH and ANGEL stand with LORNE at the Judges' Table.]
WESLEY
While it was an adequate routine, it was rather lackluster.
OZ
Last week had an edge that this week didn't.
DRUSILLA
Daddy didn't sing to me tonight.
--------------------------------------------
ANNOUNCER
But at least they didn't upset the judges.
--------------------------------------------
WESLEY
It was perfectly acceptable.
--------------------------------------------
ANNOUNCER
Can they get their edge back and remain on the judges' good side as they try their first Latin dance?
--------------------------------------------
ANGEL
[Interview.]
We did okay last week. We were third, so that's still okay. But I guess Lilah was right about one thing: We do better if we work together. So I'm letting her have more input again this week.
--------------------------------------------
[Rehearsal clip.]
[LILAH and ANGEL standing in a dance studio.]
LILAH
It's much better if we do it this way.
ANGEL
It's not.
LILAH
It is.
ANGEL
It's not.
LILAH
It is! Spike would do it this way.
ANGEL
Spike also almost got eliminated last time.
--------------------------------------------
ANGEL
[Interview]
Despite what she said before, she's trying to motivate me by using Spike. Like I care. But at least if she's concentrating on using that angle, it's harmless enough. Keep her out of trouble. At least Spike's not dancing with Buffy. I could have danced with Buffy. As frustrating as this is, there's no danger of perfect happiness.
--------------------------------------------
[Rehearsal clip.]
[LILAH and ANGEL dancing. ANGEL attempts to lead LILAH into some quick swivels, but he trips himself up and they stop.]
ANGEL
Damn!
--------------------------------------------
LILAH
[Interview]
Well, he's less broody this week. I think he enjoyed seeing Spike in the bottom two. And it's nice to get a chance at one of the Latin dances.
--------------------------------------------
[Rehearsal clip.]
[ANGEL attempting to lead LILAH into the swivels. He misses again, and they stop.]
ANGEL
Heh. I'm supposed to be the teacher, and I'm the one screwing up that step.
LILAH
I've got better Latin hips than you, too. [Pats ANGEL's belly.] But you keep workin' on it. It's slimming you down.
--------------------------------------------
ANGEL
[Interview]
Or I could have danced with Cordelia. Oh, I guess not, 'because she's part demon now. But Cordy wouldn't've made fun of me working out. She understands the importance of looking your best.
--------------------------------------------
[Rehearsal clip.]
[LILAH sits at a table at the end of the dance floor, reading a newspaper and drinking a cup of coffee. ANGEL emerges from the restroom, wearing gym clothes, carrying a gym bag, and heading for the front door.]
LILAH
You're going to the gym again?
ANGEL
We're done for the day. And it's dark out.
--------------------------------------------
LILAH
[Interview.]
He's a little extra self-conscious after those comments in the Results Show last time. He looked in the mirror a lot before, but now I'm wondering if he wouldn't rather just dance with his reflection than with me.
--------------------------------------------
[Rehearsal clip.]
[ANGEL leads LILAH into the swivels, staring into the mirror the whole time. As they turn away from the mirror, he cranes his neck around to try to see and trips himself.]
ANGEL
Damn it!
LILAH
It's your own damn fault! Try looking at your partner once in a while!
ANGEL
I was!
LILAH
A-ha! I knew it!
ANGEL
No, I mean-- I was looking at-- do I look pale next to you?
LILAH
Honey, you're a vampire. You look pale next to snow.
--------------------------------------------
ANGEL
[Interview.]
I think Dru kind of freaks Lilah out. Guess that's understandable, after that whole locking-her-and-the-other-lawyers-in-the-room-with-Darla-and-Dru-in-a-feeding-frenzy thing. But at least I was able to cheer her up.
--------------------------------------------
[Rehearsal clip.]
[LILAH sits at a table, reading a newspaper and drinking coffee. ANGEL enters, carrying a gym bag.]
LILAH
[Barely looking up]. 'Mornin', partner. [Does a double-take.] What the--?
ANGEL
Whaddaya think?
LILAH
[Stands up and walks over to ANGEL.] You're-- you're-- [laughs.]
ANGEL
Tan?
LILAH
[Still giggling.] Orange.
ANGEL
No, I can't be. I'm tan. The bottle said "No pumpkin skin or your money back."
LILAH
You got a refund coming. If you're gonna use artificial tanning lotion, Sweetie, you gotta spring for the good stuff.
ANGEL
[Reaches into his gym bag and pulls out a bottle of tanning lotion.] See, it says right here: "As good as the expensive stuff."
LILAH
Angel, who are you gonna trust? A lawyer or an advertising executive?
[ANGEL pauses, considering.]
LILAH cont.
Okay, I know that's a poser, but come on.
ANGEL
A lawyer. But just barely.
--------------------------------------------
[Montage ends.]
ANNOUNCER
Dancing the Mambo: Lilah Morgan and Angel!
[LILAH and ANGEL stand facing one another in the middle of the dance floor. She is wearing a knee-length, sleeveless pink dress, and he wears a black Latin shirt and pants. ANGEL points at the floor and steps deliberately through a basic Mambo pattern, as if trying to teach LILAH how to do it. LILAH tries it, and doesn't get it.]
["Johnny's Mambo" from "Dirty Dancing" plays.]
[ANGEL shows LILAH the pattern again, and this time she does better. He takes her into dance hold and they step slowly and carefully through the pattern. Succeeding at this, they repeat the pattern faster and faster until they are dancing at full speed, at which time ANGEL leads LILAH into a series of spins travelling down the floor.]
[Cut to backstage, where GUNN and CORDELIA sit on the couch.]
GUNN
That kinda looked like me when we first started the Cha Cha.
CORDELIA
It kinda looks like you now.
[Cut to ballroom. LILAH and ANGEL perform more intricate Mambo moves until ANGEL lands in a crouch, feet wide apart. He has both of LILAH's hands in his and leads her into a series of quick, sharp swivels moving first to the right, then to the left. ANGEL balances her swivels by swaying his hips back and forth.]
[Cut to backstage.]
GUNN
Man, those swivels are tight! How come we didn't do any moves like that in our Latin dances?
CORDELIA
Because you don't have hips, remember?
GUNN
Why you gotta be hatin'? You bring a brother's confidence right down.
CORDELIA
Got my game face on. Nobody better get in my way, and that includes you.
GUNN
Oh yeah, I forgot about that.
[Cut to ballroom. As the music nears its climax, ANGEL throws LILAH into a series of spins down the floor. Without touching her, he does Latin walks alongside her. Without stopping or even looking at him, LILAH suddenly does a full body drop. ANGEL catches her with one hand behind her back and the other stretched up over his head as he leans over her, looking into her eyes. The music ends, and the CROWD cheers.]
[ANGEL pulls LILAH up to her feet and walks her over to LORNE and the Judges' Table.]
LORNE
Hot, hot, hot! And what an ending! Wes, what are we looking for in a Mambo?
WESLEY
We're looking for sharp, staccato movement here as well, Lorne, but with sexy, Latin movements rather than the cat-like steps of Tango. We're looking for lots of hip action and we want to see a definite pause before breaking on the "two" count.
LORNE
And did we see that here?
WESLEY
We did, actually. [CROWD cheers.] This routine had no gimmicks, little "theme," just some nice, clean, crisp Mambo. Well done. [CROWD applauds.]
LORNE
Wow, I actually get the feeling you would have said that even if you weren't trying to be Mr. Congeniality tonight. Oz, whaddaya say?
OZ
Nice job.
LORNE
Okay, and Drogyn?
OZ
Hey, I wasn't finished!
LORNE
What? Seriously? Okay, go ahead.
OZ
Nah, I'm just messin' with ya'.
LORNE
That's funny, 'cause the Host needs a little more stress in his life. Okay, Drogyn, what did you think?
DROGYN
[Glares at LORNE again and sighs.] The opening sequence took a little too long to develop. Your dance didn't hit its stride until the second verse. The spin series at the end echoed the series at the beginning well without being repetitive. You broke precisely on "two" most of the time, except you lost it for a few measures during the bridge to the final chorus. While Angel's hip motion was adequate, it was not up to the standard for a teacher. In the third stanza, you--
LORNE
Okay, okay. Just sum up.
DROGYN
A well executed routine.
LORNE
Good enough. [Motions LILAH and ANGEL off camera.] You two head on backstage. Two couples down, five to go, and the judges seemed pleased so far tonight. Will Lilah and Angel's scores reflect that? And will the other couples measure up? Find out when DANCING WITH THE DEMONS returns!
Tune in Thursdays for more episodes on redsrule1.