Once Again
I'm sitting here, cold, tired, and all together worn out, with my now defunct wedding veil perch on my dirty hair that I haven't found time to wash in two days, reflecting on the journey that I have almost finished. It has not been an easy fourteen months of being engaged (to say the least). I've schemed, perused, pouted, and planned my way through. Some of it were easy decisions- the moment I saw the Derryfield I knew that's where I wanted my wedding. There were even a few surprisingly easy productions- like writing our ceremony. And of course, some of it was trying on my soul- like figuring out how to have opposite sets of people find something in common. And still, I realized that I was human, and some materialistic things could actually bring me within inches of my death- like f*&^ing invitations.
I have one and a half days left until the wedding weekend starts. Thursday afternoon I leave work, not to return until almost a week later. I have spa time, doing errands time, and hoping my fruits fit nicely into a manageable package. Everyone keeps reminding me that things don't have to be perfect, and no one will notice if something goes wrong. Well, if you know me, you know I don't care about perfect, and that I think of the stupid, unimaginable things happening- like a vicious bear crashing the ceremony. Or my dress having a hole burnt into by the steamers. Hey, it could happen, right? When I think about the little things, like, so what if there isn't programs or a perfect timeline, I think hah! I'm worried about a tornado tearing down the building. Let's have big things to worry about.
Luckily, I don't worry about the small, realistic things going wrong- just the big, unrealistic things. And the big, realistic problems that could go wrong, and people would notice, I don't worry about. I know Brian will be there, waiting for me. He couldn't be more excited to marry me. Now, I would be just as excited to marry him if I wasn't so consumed in all the details. I have to finish this, I need to remember this, I should call him or her, and organize this.
I've been an absolute zombie at work lately. I can barely keep my head up, never mind focused and determined. Thankfully, everyone understands. Most people have been through this in their life before. I feel like I'm walking the path that many people walk down in their life. However, I feel like I'm not entirely staying on the path, more of using it as a reference point as I dance around.
I have one and a half days left until the wedding weekend starts. Thursday afternoon I leave work, not to return until almost a week later. I have spa time, doing errands time, and hoping my fruits fit nicely into a manageable package. Everyone keeps reminding me that things don't have to be perfect, and no one will notice if something goes wrong. Well, if you know me, you know I don't care about perfect, and that I think of the stupid, unimaginable things happening- like a vicious bear crashing the ceremony. Or my dress having a hole burnt into by the steamers. Hey, it could happen, right? When I think about the little things, like, so what if there isn't programs or a perfect timeline, I think hah! I'm worried about a tornado tearing down the building. Let's have big things to worry about.
Luckily, I don't worry about the small, realistic things going wrong- just the big, unrealistic things. And the big, realistic problems that could go wrong, and people would notice, I don't worry about. I know Brian will be there, waiting for me. He couldn't be more excited to marry me. Now, I would be just as excited to marry him if I wasn't so consumed in all the details. I have to finish this, I need to remember this, I should call him or her, and organize this.
I've been an absolute zombie at work lately. I can barely keep my head up, never mind focused and determined. Thankfully, everyone understands. Most people have been through this in their life before. I feel like I'm walking the path that many people walk down in their life. However, I feel like I'm not entirely staying on the path, more of using it as a reference point as I dance around.