Summer goals.
I have a very quick rant about the Red Sox that I would like to get out of the way before I do anything else:
Fuck.
There we go, that's enough of that. Now on to some other stuff that I want to write about. Not all that much has been going on lately but for one reason or another I have to say that things are looking swell. No, I haven't had some life altering change like winning the lottery or anything, but I just feel pretty upbeat and chipper about things in general most of the time. I came to this conclusion this afternoon as I was a little bit down for some unknown reason. As I felt a little depressed and crappy it hit me that it had been a while (for me) since I had felt like that. Then I thought about it for a while and that's definitely true. I think that I've been dealing with the bullshit of life pretty well lately. I didn't get accepted to grad school and I'm still ok, for me that is a pretty big deal. I know that a younger me would have taken that as an excuse to go into a bit of a depressive spin and to wallow around feeling sorry for myself for a while. Instead I've just sort of shaken it off and thought about what I need to do in order to get into skool by next year. One of the things I will need to work on is not spelling school with a k. . .
What I'm saying is that I've been doing pretty good lately. I got to play golf twice this week and had a hell of a time. I've been hitting the ball pretty well and that just makes me smile. Mike and I put together a darn nice round in a scramble on Saturday and I made some very good shots that I was quite happy with. I love playing golf even when I suck but when I do well it just feels a thousand times better and makes me smile like a fool.
I have an overwhelming belief that this is going to be a good summer. I don't have anything to back that up mind you, it's just a feeling. I'm not as weary about the future as I usually am, in fact I'm looking forward to it a little bit. Maybe it's the fact that the Red Sox are 10 1/2 games in front of everyone, maybe it's because it was 75 and sunny this afternoon, maybe it's because listening to the Flaming Lips is a pretty nice way to spend an evening. Who cares why I have this feeling of optimism, we should just savor the fact that I, the eternal pessimist, am feeling optimistic. I have a couple of things that I really want to get done this summer that I shall list right here.
1. Find gainful employment that doesn't make me want to kill myself and to make mad bling.
2. Stop talking like the kind of asshole that would say things like "make mad bling".
3. To rock. Hard. I have a million and one song ideas in my head right now that have been festering in one form or another for years and I think I'm about to go insane from it. I've gots to find a way to get the rock out and to the masses. More on this later.
4. To go on a trip of some sort. I have a 400 dollar credit on Southwest Airlines that I have to use by November. Out of staters, if you curry my favor in one way or another I just may come see you and take advantage of your hospitality.
5. To lose 526 pounds. I bet many of you are saying "Charlie, don't be so dramatic about your weight, you aren't that big." Ah, but what I say is true, from a certain point of view. I want to lost weight on the ol body and to lose the weight of the bundles of crap that clutter the old apartment. I figure that I could put these two "self improvement" goals under the same heading.
6. To lose a little of the rage. This will be hard to do. When I look back at my life I find a lot of shit to be pretty angry about, in many ways anger has fueled my life. This isn't a bad thing, anger is definitely necessary a lot of the time, but I'd like to try and mellow my ass out a bit, you know? I have a feeling that a 60 year old man with as much rage as I have inside would be a pretty unbearable thing to be.
7. To do something to make my parents proud of me. It seems like it's been a while since I've made them proud for reasons other than parental obligation and I've been dwelling on that for a while. I'd like to accomplish something soon that makes them say they are proud of me and I don't have to doubt the validity of the statement.
8. Start to learn a foreign language of some sort, probably Russian. Also to buff up on my French. I always talk about how shameful it is that Americans tend not to know any foreign languages, yet I'm a hypocrite since I barely use or remember the one foreign language I know.
9. I kind of want to go to a water park. It's been years since I've been to one and it seems as if it would be wicked fun. Plus I wanted to end this on a high note.
So, there we go. I'm gonna go lie down and listen to the rest of the album I just started (Automatic for the People) and think about things. Au Revoir.
Fuck.
There we go, that's enough of that. Now on to some other stuff that I want to write about. Not all that much has been going on lately but for one reason or another I have to say that things are looking swell. No, I haven't had some life altering change like winning the lottery or anything, but I just feel pretty upbeat and chipper about things in general most of the time. I came to this conclusion this afternoon as I was a little bit down for some unknown reason. As I felt a little depressed and crappy it hit me that it had been a while (for me) since I had felt like that. Then I thought about it for a while and that's definitely true. I think that I've been dealing with the bullshit of life pretty well lately. I didn't get accepted to grad school and I'm still ok, for me that is a pretty big deal. I know that a younger me would have taken that as an excuse to go into a bit of a depressive spin and to wallow around feeling sorry for myself for a while. Instead I've just sort of shaken it off and thought about what I need to do in order to get into skool by next year. One of the things I will need to work on is not spelling school with a k. . .
What I'm saying is that I've been doing pretty good lately. I got to play golf twice this week and had a hell of a time. I've been hitting the ball pretty well and that just makes me smile. Mike and I put together a darn nice round in a scramble on Saturday and I made some very good shots that I was quite happy with. I love playing golf even when I suck but when I do well it just feels a thousand times better and makes me smile like a fool.
I have an overwhelming belief that this is going to be a good summer. I don't have anything to back that up mind you, it's just a feeling. I'm not as weary about the future as I usually am, in fact I'm looking forward to it a little bit. Maybe it's the fact that the Red Sox are 10 1/2 games in front of everyone, maybe it's because it was 75 and sunny this afternoon, maybe it's because listening to the Flaming Lips is a pretty nice way to spend an evening. Who cares why I have this feeling of optimism, we should just savor the fact that I, the eternal pessimist, am feeling optimistic. I have a couple of things that I really want to get done this summer that I shall list right here.
1. Find gainful employment that doesn't make me want to kill myself and to make mad bling.
2. Stop talking like the kind of asshole that would say things like "make mad bling".
3. To rock. Hard. I have a million and one song ideas in my head right now that have been festering in one form or another for years and I think I'm about to go insane from it. I've gots to find a way to get the rock out and to the masses. More on this later.
4. To go on a trip of some sort. I have a 400 dollar credit on Southwest Airlines that I have to use by November. Out of staters, if you curry my favor in one way or another I just may come see you and take advantage of your hospitality.
5. To lose 526 pounds. I bet many of you are saying "Charlie, don't be so dramatic about your weight, you aren't that big." Ah, but what I say is true, from a certain point of view. I want to lost weight on the ol body and to lose the weight of the bundles of crap that clutter the old apartment. I figure that I could put these two "self improvement" goals under the same heading.
6. To lose a little of the rage. This will be hard to do. When I look back at my life I find a lot of shit to be pretty angry about, in many ways anger has fueled my life. This isn't a bad thing, anger is definitely necessary a lot of the time, but I'd like to try and mellow my ass out a bit, you know? I have a feeling that a 60 year old man with as much rage as I have inside would be a pretty unbearable thing to be.
7. To do something to make my parents proud of me. It seems like it's been a while since I've made them proud for reasons other than parental obligation and I've been dwelling on that for a while. I'd like to accomplish something soon that makes them say they are proud of me and I don't have to doubt the validity of the statement.
8. Start to learn a foreign language of some sort, probably Russian. Also to buff up on my French. I always talk about how shameful it is that Americans tend not to know any foreign languages, yet I'm a hypocrite since I barely use or remember the one foreign language I know.
9. I kind of want to go to a water park. It's been years since I've been to one and it seems as if it would be wicked fun. Plus I wanted to end this on a high note.
So, there we go. I'm gonna go lie down and listen to the rest of the album I just started (Automatic for the People) and think about things. Au Revoir.