Intense 4 hours on the phone
I was on suicide and crisis tonight and it was intense -- all night. The night ended with the sixteen-year-old that was suicidal. She could not stand her parents, esp. her father. She said, “I don’t think I have ever loved him.” Later I would learn she was adopted because her mother called in while the girl and I were on the phone and told another counselor. The girl never mentioned being adopted. She was hysterical for much of the call; in tears. She felt that she needed to be the rational one in her family, especially in relation to her father. She felt unseen by her parents, unappreciated as a human being. On the other hand, she was clear that they were concerned about her, but she felt smothered not loved. I wondered about my daughter. Would my daughter feel loved when she was sixteen? I think so, but who knows. In the end, the girl seemed to calm down, and feel that she could make it through the night and make it through today. She would be getting away from them next week - visiting relatives - and maybe it would be better when she came back.
There was the woman who had been strangled by her boyfriend. Despite both physical and emotional abuse she still considered going back, checking out if it was worthwhile. It is hard to not jump in with both feet in this situation; I want to say, lady, your crazy how could you do that!? I didn’t do that, but I did at some point during the conversation say that if I were being treated like that I would not go back. I also tell her, “no one deserves to be treated that way.” Moreover, I urge her to take care of herself first. She seemed to hear me and repeated my words to me as her mission.
Earlier there was a woman who was afraid of having another nervous breakdown. Her mother, whom she lived with, was ill and no longer able to give the same emotional support and she was finding this stressful. Perhaps this was causing some agoraphobia to come the surface; not to mention the other conditions that she acknowledged during the conversation.
There was also a woman, whom I had spoken with once before, who lost her family and works an incredibly stressful job. She calls when the losses are pressing in so hard that she can barely breathe. She cannot discuss what is really troubling her, but some light conversation about her life and hobbies can completely change her space. That is what I did for 45 minutes. I also shared that I admired who she was and what she did.
Finally, there was the guy who was so anxious that he could hardly stay on the subject of his anxiousness. It was apparent after some conversation that I could not do much for him. I advised him to see a doctor today. Amazingly, he claimed that he had seen a doctor and that the doctor had not prescribed anything for him. I also gave him the psychiatric services number to call.
Mostly what I did was listen. I don’t have solutions for these people and that is not what I am there for. Except for the anxious guy each person reported feeling better at the end of the conversation. In some cases, I felt honored to just be on the phone with these people, to be able to offer an ear and to be given a glimpse into their lives. There is amazing honestly in this anonymous connection. I have to stand back and listen listen listen when I am on the phone. I have to minimize my ego involvement. I have to listen to them and to me. I highly recommend it.
Meanwhile, in my own relationship, there has hardly been a word of conversation for over a week. We have done some pleasant things in family space in the little time we have been together but not connect between my wife and me. I am trying to be at peace with this but it difficult for me.
I am working on the job search. Fingers crossed.
redslime
There was the woman who had been strangled by her boyfriend. Despite both physical and emotional abuse she still considered going back, checking out if it was worthwhile. It is hard to not jump in with both feet in this situation; I want to say, lady, your crazy how could you do that!? I didn’t do that, but I did at some point during the conversation say that if I were being treated like that I would not go back. I also tell her, “no one deserves to be treated that way.” Moreover, I urge her to take care of herself first. She seemed to hear me and repeated my words to me as her mission.
Earlier there was a woman who was afraid of having another nervous breakdown. Her mother, whom she lived with, was ill and no longer able to give the same emotional support and she was finding this stressful. Perhaps this was causing some agoraphobia to come the surface; not to mention the other conditions that she acknowledged during the conversation.
There was also a woman, whom I had spoken with once before, who lost her family and works an incredibly stressful job. She calls when the losses are pressing in so hard that she can barely breathe. She cannot discuss what is really troubling her, but some light conversation about her life and hobbies can completely change her space. That is what I did for 45 minutes. I also shared that I admired who she was and what she did.
Finally, there was the guy who was so anxious that he could hardly stay on the subject of his anxiousness. It was apparent after some conversation that I could not do much for him. I advised him to see a doctor today. Amazingly, he claimed that he had seen a doctor and that the doctor had not prescribed anything for him. I also gave him the psychiatric services number to call.
Mostly what I did was listen. I don’t have solutions for these people and that is not what I am there for. Except for the anxious guy each person reported feeling better at the end of the conversation. In some cases, I felt honored to just be on the phone with these people, to be able to offer an ear and to be given a glimpse into their lives. There is amazing honestly in this anonymous connection. I have to stand back and listen listen listen when I am on the phone. I have to minimize my ego involvement. I have to listen to them and to me. I highly recommend it.
Meanwhile, in my own relationship, there has hardly been a word of conversation for over a week. We have done some pleasant things in family space in the little time we have been together but not connect between my wife and me. I am trying to be at peace with this but it difficult for me.
I am working on the job search. Fingers crossed.
redslime