Doubt
My spouse and I have such different views of the world. In her blog she talks about an argument, we had yesterday. (I am interested in a study of perception here more than I am interested in right and wrong. That is not entirely true, a part of me wants to get her to see that she does not see me very well and that she has a part in these things
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My spouse and I have such different views of the world. This seems true and expected from my experience. In her blog . . . in right and wrong. There is no right and wrong, that is true. That is not . . . she does not acknowledge.) Why? She claims I took a comment negatively, which I did and didn’t. Ok, so the "which I did . . . " seems to border on true. She does not say which comment I took negatively. Does she have to? Was it the one . . . appeal to the my past behavior being a problem?
Why the past??? The past is not true?
Here is what I think happened. . . . dishes. I sighed or something. That seems normal and natural therefore true. I was leaving . . . the counter. While at the sink I note . . . espresso machine; I’m pretty sure I had the thought “boy she doesn’t get that how annoying it is that she leaves this shit like this, but I never complain to her, because its not worth it.” The thought is worse than what I really think because I'm annoyed. I come back . . . get back to the work I was doing. Instead, I am greeted . . . it is not OK that I sighed. Sighing seems harmless, but that is me. I am annoyed at this, but I . . . . I ask her “do you really wants to make something of this right now? Good question. Is this really . . . a big deal for you?” Without missing a beat, . . . some dishes the day before ah that is the past and the past is not true so that does not seem interesting me. and therefore she is justified … I think I cut her off, I try to ask if that really matters and I tell her that yesterday’s circumstances were different, Why? and I ask again if this . . . to do. Even a better question this time. She just launches back . . . rest of the past. You know my feeling about the past. Its so dark and malformed there. Even truth avoids that world so I don't go there. After circling . . . a different tack. I can't wait.
I ask her, “what if I came to you and said, I want to take care of your wine glasses that are there from two days, ah, drawn into the past where, . . . you know. and that I don’t like . . . milk spilled on the counter?” For me, I'm just trying to make the point her how it doesn't work, I'm thinking she will step back and see this. That doesn't happen. The other is not required to be us. That is a truth. This is getting to be fun. Amazingly to me, at this point because she goes in to a complete tizzy. Amazed means: to fill with wonder. Were you truthfully filled with wonder or surprised? She accuses me of being mean. If that is not true, I know it does not matter. Now she wants to end to conversation and shuts up. I’m angry at the conversation being closed down understandable but avoidable. but I have no time or desire to pursue, so I start to pack my things to get out of the house. She is totally activated meanwhile and jumps to and cleans the glasses and the counter; That seems ok to me. i.e. she behaved as if these things really mattered Is this an assumption? or that I would somehow see her differently because of it Is this an assumption? or that I really cared one way or the other about the things I had brought up. Is this an assumption? Sure, reaching over the milk was annoying but it wasn’t a big deal. The kicker for me is that in her blog none of this is the issue. That seems natural for a writer who has "such a different view of the world." Instead, the issue was that she wanted to end the conversation and how long her anger took to subside - thirty minutes. which she viewed as short. That seems like an authentic (true) view based on the given evidence. Me, if I stay angry for thirty minutes it must have been the end of the world. That seems like an authentic (true) view based on the given evidence. From my perspective, she does not really appear to own her part of what happened; Is this an assumption? I wonder if that is why the anger stays so long; Good question. this makes sense to me, things stay with me when I have an issue about my role in something, or if I am afraid of some consequence. Ahh, some more truth.
Maybe more later on this. I hope so as it will mean we are all still alive.
r.slime
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