Torn up
I’m torn up. I can tell because I truly want to run away into some other woman’s arms. I feel like I am losing my soul mate. Why are we splitting? Because neither of can understand the measure of the other. It is as if we each live in the other’s negative space. I wonder how this can be. It is as if her mere existence confirms the holy and heretic. She makes me crazy because we are both wounded in some way the echoes from an infinite distance in the other.
The rabbit died. She calls me out to help. I help. We both feel for our daughter. But, we approach from different parts of the universe. I can’t really put words on my feelings, but I feel for how bad my daughter is going to feel. I know that this will be an experience that shapes her life. I have no idea in what way, but I know how these moments have affected me. I don’t know in words, but in deep feelings, feelings that shake me to my core if I go near them.
My wife comes, I’m sure from the same deep place in her soul, but it expresses through some deep learning that is different than my deep learning. Maybe I should use training, but I suspect that we do not have the ability to differentiate between learning and training in our psyches. When I see this I see that it is irrelevant to talk about which positions we have. To do so would simply be claiming that one is more right than the other. And if there is anything is that we know, it is that no matter how sure we are of our rightness we can never be totally sure of our rightness. Because we have all experience certainly only to discover we were totally wrong.
This, of course, is a proof of God if you believe in God.
r.slime
The rabbit died. She calls me out to help. I help. We both feel for our daughter. But, we approach from different parts of the universe. I can’t really put words on my feelings, but I feel for how bad my daughter is going to feel. I know that this will be an experience that shapes her life. I have no idea in what way, but I know how these moments have affected me. I don’t know in words, but in deep feelings, feelings that shake me to my core if I go near them.
My wife comes, I’m sure from the same deep place in her soul, but it expresses through some deep learning that is different than my deep learning. Maybe I should use training, but I suspect that we do not have the ability to differentiate between learning and training in our psyches. When I see this I see that it is irrelevant to talk about which positions we have. To do so would simply be claiming that one is more right than the other. And if there is anything is that we know, it is that no matter how sure we are of our rightness we can never be totally sure of our rightness. Because we have all experience certainly only to discover we were totally wrong.
This, of course, is a proof of God if you believe in God.
r.slime