Support

Jul 19, 2004 06:17

A child in our men’s community died of a brain aneurysm last week. The community has rallied around the man and his family. I have been part of that even though I did not really know the man before this tragedy. I was able to support and I choose to do so. I spent the night at their home last Friday and spent an hour talking with him in the morning. I hope I have been able to support. How does one support through great loss? I just tried to be there and listen, I put in very little because I am clear that I have not dealt with this level of grief. I did share about losing my brother, and how the grief comes in waves. My goal was to allow him his grief and to give an ear.

I’m sure that if I believe that there was some answer, some magic words that would sooth, that I would have sought those words, but I do not.

I also brought the surrender that I have had around my boys.

It is worth mentioning how it was that I came to be at the home of a family in the midst of loss that I hardly know because this is a truly remarkable event. It was because the man, largely - I believe - through his work in this community of men, had the presence of mind to ask the community to have a man there every night until he doesn’t need it any longer. Wow. What if every person going through grief could ask for this kind of support? I spoke with the husband and wife on very intimate terms. I was there for them and they were open to using that support. They are two wonderful people who have done a great deal of personal growth work and who seem open to the world. They have a long way to go in their journey of grief, but they have begun that journey in a way that I can only call heroic.

I have come to realize that support comes when it is asked for.

r.slime.

support, personal growth, children

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