(no subject)
I think this is the most amount of stress I've been under in a long, long, long time. Maybe ever. I'm slowly making my way through the detritus of the last twenty-three years of family life. There are nasty little surprises all over (and I don't just mean the huge brown recluse spiders in the basement.). There are photos of happy times, before my husband became a monster. Those are hard to look at, which is probably why I buried them deep in the first place. There are little mementos of forgotten moments from my children's younger days. Sounds sweet, but each one calls up a memory of how the moment was ruined by emotional abuse and insane ranting. I feel sad and angry at the contamination of my memories. I am trying hard to pull out the positives: my kids' resilience, the close bond we formed in defense, the relief of everything being over. Even when I focus on those good things, it's hard to have it all popping up and surprising me each time I go through a box or closet, or stuffed dresser drawers. *sighs*
As if moving weren't enough, my soon-to-be former landlord surprised me with notice of a city inspection in two days. Holy shit. That would be trying under the best of circumstances, but almost impossible to deal with when there are boxes and piles of items-to-be-sorted all over. It might just be her way of sticking it to me. It worked.
I'm trying to mentally skip over all this stress and logistical crap and just let my mind rest on how wonderful it will be to be in the new place.
In two days, I'm getting my long hair cut off, and going short. I can't wait. To hell with the people who keep telling me I have to have long hair if I want to date. For one thing, I'm calling bullshit. For another, I don't have any plans to date. I want to be just me.
As if moving weren't enough, my soon-to-be former landlord surprised me with notice of a city inspection in two days. Holy shit. That would be trying under the best of circumstances, but almost impossible to deal with when there are boxes and piles of items-to-be-sorted all over. It might just be her way of sticking it to me. It worked.
I'm trying to mentally skip over all this stress and logistical crap and just let my mind rest on how wonderful it will be to be in the new place.
In two days, I'm getting my long hair cut off, and going short. I can't wait. To hell with the people who keep telling me I have to have long hair if I want to date. For one thing, I'm calling bullshit. For another, I don't have any plans to date. I want to be just me.