Sam explains his purpose here (**1/2)
Damn, I've forgotten how hard it is to start a blog up by scratch...where to begin...
First, I already have an LJ account by a different name. In fact, it's several years old, I've made a few meaningful entries in it, I've a good number of LJ friends, I still check it every day...but I can never bring myself to update it. For a medium that allows me to self-indulge publicly with a nary a care for taste, grammar, and coherency, the thrill was gone after a good year or so...
So why start again, and on another account? Well I’LL BE ASKING THE QUESTIONS HERE MOTHERFUCKER (Okay, I know I asked the question to myself. Stay with me here!)
…
Let’s play a little game.
You know nothing about me. Actually, after I’m done writing this up and posting it, I’m going to link this to a bunch of friends on facebook, who are at least acquaintances of mine.
But you don’t know me. And I’m going to tell you things about me. Whatever it is, it will be about me, or my personal thoughts regarding anything that interests me in any way. ME ME ME ME ME.
And I’m going to assume you’ll keep reading, even if each person who sees this shakes his/her/its head as he/she/it realizes the pressure has gotten to me, and leaves me writing to myself in some desperate plea for sanity. In fact, you are going to care, you are going to read every word with complete focus, because I will leave no detail un-spared.
I’ve read too many blogs while ignoring my own here. I’ve agreed and shaken my fist at too many opinions to not post my own with equal fervor. I’ve been moved by too many jovial, tearful, and/or vehement posts by others, to not want to share my own life with the world, however small and empty it may or may not be. I finally want to see some words centered around my life, even if I have to fucking write them myself.
Know this:
1. As you may already know, I can be frank. Hell, I called you a motherfucker. I probably don’t mean it. But there’s a certain madness I add to my writing methods, and sometimes it requires that I be a little crass. Jerkass.
2. Wait, “frank” wasn’t the word. What was that adjective again, that blanket term that describes almost everything that can make someone uncomfortable and queasy? Oh yes, if you’ve not been with me long enough in real life, you may not be used to me or understand my thought patterns, and thus you may view this as offensive.
3. I never mean to offend…not without reason, not without some sort of righteous indignation. If something really bugs you so much, talk to me about it, seriously. Don’t raise a witch hunt after me, sit me down and try to convince me that what I said was dumb and harmful to humanity.
4. Irony and sarcasm. I may use them well, or you may get sick of me after the first “LULZ I DIDN’T REALLY MEAN THAT ROFL”. But I will use them often, so very often.
5. Each entry will start with “Sam explains _____”, as you can see above in the post header. After said title will be a rating from zero to five stars. Five stars means that the post will be completely serious and it will have little to no humor (and thus you may want to skip over it :-/ ). In other words, it’s something I put a lot of thought into and/or it’s a dramatically angsty clusterfuck. Zero stars means you may also want to skip over it, but for the opposite reasons; it’s probably highly trivial or weird, just the kinda stuff I usually dig, but hopefully interesting to at least someone else who may come across the post. Negative star ratings = ABANDON ALL HOPE, ALL YE WHO ENTER. Don’t even try to understand.
6. I will post everyday somehow, no matter what. It’s not a promise that each post will be meaningful and insightful at all, but it’ll be something at least. With the star ratings, you’ll know exactly when to skip over onto something better!
7. I will exaggerate (in obvious manners), I will throw hyperboles around like confetti, and I will slap you around with obtuse and maybe offensive metaphors and analogies. Or I may simply refrain posting thoughts on certain subjects on this livejournal. But use of sarcasm aside (and hopefully seeing that will be obvious), I will never lie. Ever. Whatever serious stuff I say here, I really mean it.
With that said, maybe I’ll actually write something soon.