fuck you world
it's only tuesday and this week's already in the shitter:
* yesterday i figured out that i'm officially poor. what does poor look like? $250+ overdrawn at the bank. that's what.
* today i tried to rectify said overdraft by depositing the very last of my savings into my personal checking account. unfortunately for me, because of my overdraft, i can't touch any of that money, MY MONEY, until five business days from today because my bank put a hold on the funds! never mind that i've never overdrawn my account before, that doesn't seem to matter one whit.
* so i took one of the checks i was depositing and took it directly to bank of america to get cash. unfortunately for me, i didn't have what THEY consider to be PROPER IDENTIFICATION, so once again i can't touch any of MY motherfucking money until the motherfucking bank tells me i can.
* this morning i tried to change the burned-out bulbs in my porch lights. i really dislike changing the bulbs in those things because, as far as i can tell after 4-5 years of living here, there's no way to do a simple bulb change without taking the lamps completely apart, including slipping the glass panels out of their slots. so of course two of the panels fell to the ground and shattered while i was desperately trying to CAREFULLY remove the screws that hold them in place. fuck!
* last night i accidentally locked travis out of the house after assuring him that i would lock the door properly and that he would have no problem getting in no matter what time he got home. of course i woke up sometime around 1:30am to the sound of someone trying to get in the house. thank goodness i'm a light sleeper, eh? too bad i couldn't get back to sleep until almost 6am, just in time for the alarm to go off at 6:15am. grrr.
* i made amanda cry during her thai massage. i didn't mean to, really! even worse, i was so busy concentrating on what i was supposed to be doing that i hadn't realized i overstretched her and hurt her. i didn't mean to, really! she's such a little athlete that i just assumed she'd bend like a pretzel with no problem. bad mommy. bad body worker.
* new clients, a husband and wife, asked me to schedule them for a bi-weekly massage. the wife made me promise to call her the next day just so we could arrange their second (and subsequent) appointment(s). i called her, like i said i would. i have yet to hear back from her (or him for that matter), despite leaving several messages since then. normally this wouldn't bother me -- not all clients are going to like my work, or me, for that matter -- but i was looking forward to the regular income they would have brought.
* because of my cash flow problems i have yet to pay for the anatomy class i'm (supposed to be) taking this weekend. it'll be all right, i know it will, and i'll end up in class just as i'd planned to, but it was embarrassing to have the school call me to tell me the charge to my debit card was not approved.
* i can feel the darkness descending on me, enveloping me, weighing me down, crushing me. i'm doing what i can to keep it at bay, but i fear i'm losing the battle yet again. why is depression so uncontrollable and unrelenting? it wears me out. i'm so tired of fighting it...at this moment i would rather curl up and die.
* yesterday i figured out that i'm officially poor. what does poor look like? $250+ overdrawn at the bank. that's what.
* today i tried to rectify said overdraft by depositing the very last of my savings into my personal checking account. unfortunately for me, because of my overdraft, i can't touch any of that money, MY MONEY, until five business days from today because my bank put a hold on the funds! never mind that i've never overdrawn my account before, that doesn't seem to matter one whit.
* so i took one of the checks i was depositing and took it directly to bank of america to get cash. unfortunately for me, i didn't have what THEY consider to be PROPER IDENTIFICATION, so once again i can't touch any of MY motherfucking money until the motherfucking bank tells me i can.
* this morning i tried to change the burned-out bulbs in my porch lights. i really dislike changing the bulbs in those things because, as far as i can tell after 4-5 years of living here, there's no way to do a simple bulb change without taking the lamps completely apart, including slipping the glass panels out of their slots. so of course two of the panels fell to the ground and shattered while i was desperately trying to CAREFULLY remove the screws that hold them in place. fuck!
* last night i accidentally locked travis out of the house after assuring him that i would lock the door properly and that he would have no problem getting in no matter what time he got home. of course i woke up sometime around 1:30am to the sound of someone trying to get in the house. thank goodness i'm a light sleeper, eh? too bad i couldn't get back to sleep until almost 6am, just in time for the alarm to go off at 6:15am. grrr.
* i made amanda cry during her thai massage. i didn't mean to, really! even worse, i was so busy concentrating on what i was supposed to be doing that i hadn't realized i overstretched her and hurt her. i didn't mean to, really! she's such a little athlete that i just assumed she'd bend like a pretzel with no problem. bad mommy. bad body worker.
* new clients, a husband and wife, asked me to schedule them for a bi-weekly massage. the wife made me promise to call her the next day just so we could arrange their second (and subsequent) appointment(s). i called her, like i said i would. i have yet to hear back from her (or him for that matter), despite leaving several messages since then. normally this wouldn't bother me -- not all clients are going to like my work, or me, for that matter -- but i was looking forward to the regular income they would have brought.
* because of my cash flow problems i have yet to pay for the anatomy class i'm (supposed to be) taking this weekend. it'll be all right, i know it will, and i'll end up in class just as i'd planned to, but it was embarrassing to have the school call me to tell me the charge to my debit card was not approved.
* i can feel the darkness descending on me, enveloping me, weighing me down, crushing me. i'm doing what i can to keep it at bay, but i fear i'm losing the battle yet again. why is depression so uncontrollable and unrelenting? it wears me out. i'm so tired of fighting it...at this moment i would rather curl up and die.