Wednesday Night
I'm tired. M isn't sleeping well for reasons of teething, I think. Though in the middle of the night when he's awake and crying or just rolling around on my face - what is it with kids and rolling around on the mother's face. It's hard. My head is a hard thing and I don't get why it feels good. I feel very trapped when he does this. S does it too. It's whack. He wakes up a couple times most nights and we go down to the couch and he rolls around on me and I try not to get mad at him and I feed him something and eventually we both pass out until I wake up enough to carry him and me back upstairs to the bed where I hold my breath and hope no one else wakes up. Please not S because he'll roll on my face.
I am excited for the women around me going to school. I'm happy for them and remembering how exciting is to be embarking on a learning journey. It's awesome. Life changing. The schlepping can feel like a lot and the teachers and the other students can be annoying, but in the big picture and often the little one too, school living is fun. The schedule, the reading. I've never done it with kids though so I know it's going to take a lot for all of them and so I send a prayer out to the saint of mamas going back to school. May these friends feel light and calm and ever wise.
I've been going through a I'm a sucky mom spell. My impatience for the lack of physical space I have around my body when I'm with them feels overwhelming lately. I don't want anyone ON ME. GET OFF ME. feeling and it's trippy because they are just loving me and I'm flipped out about it. Trying to surrender and get into it but feeling like I have to go zombie or I'm going to freak out. One of those learning curves deals I guess.
I'm ready to get some of these TT accounts sold. I Have about 5 that I can see no reason they won't sign up, but it's a waiting game. I'm ready, you ready?!
More soon, just go to bed, h, just freakin go to bed.
I am excited for the women around me going to school. I'm happy for them and remembering how exciting is to be embarking on a learning journey. It's awesome. Life changing. The schlepping can feel like a lot and the teachers and the other students can be annoying, but in the big picture and often the little one too, school living is fun. The schedule, the reading. I've never done it with kids though so I know it's going to take a lot for all of them and so I send a prayer out to the saint of mamas going back to school. May these friends feel light and calm and ever wise.
I've been going through a I'm a sucky mom spell. My impatience for the lack of physical space I have around my body when I'm with them feels overwhelming lately. I don't want anyone ON ME. GET OFF ME. feeling and it's trippy because they are just loving me and I'm flipped out about it. Trying to surrender and get into it but feeling like I have to go zombie or I'm going to freak out. One of those learning curves deals I guess.
I'm ready to get some of these TT accounts sold. I Have about 5 that I can see no reason they won't sign up, but it's a waiting game. I'm ready, you ready?!
More soon, just go to bed, h, just freakin go to bed.