long rant time...
so everyone has been posting lately and ranting about all of these things that are happening... well not going to lie but nothing big has happened as of yet with my life. classes are hoehum. relationships are pretty nill... oh except for this guy adam...
we worked together at camp. he lives in bridgewater, but goes to school at dean in franklin. a couple of weekends ago, me shannon and jenn b went up to visit him and things went awesome. but then things changed during the week to follow and he was like i'm scared of you getting back together with zach and i don't know what my feelings are blah blah blah... so i was like okay thanks for telling me this AFTER i started to finally get over zach and like someone else... thanks not.... so anyways, i've tried talking to him but he kept avoiding me. so i just let it go. but then this week, he IMs me to tell me that he doesn't hate me. he just has a lot on his plate and he doesn't want to upset me with all the stuff going on and he is afraid of something--- what he never told me grrr... but so i was like honestly i can take it. we've been friends since we met at camp and we're so close and i really like you (not like i want a new relationship, but i do like him as in have a crush on him and stuff...) so then he was like are you going to be at bsc this weekend and i was like no i'm going home why? and he was like well rob (his roommate) and i are going to my house and i was going to stop by bsc with him if you were there... and i was like oh im sorry. i want to see you... so he goes i really want to see you, but im confused... and i was thinking oh great...
why are boys so confusing? like we should be given a manual when we turn 12 or something that breaks guys down for us... that'd be funny lol... but ya i'm confused with him and i just want to be like so um ya, where do we go from here? ugh idk...
and then there is the camp issue...
at the end of the summer we're supposed to get exit interviews either in person or through emails and whatnot. well i never got mine in person so taft (one of my directors) was like anyone who we didn't talk to will be getting an exit interview through email... so a lot of people from camp have gotten either both or one or the other. i got neither... and a bunch of the staff from this past year who i've talked to have been like oh i saw taft or i talked to taft and he said i definitely have a job there next summer... like wtf. when i saw him the weekend we went up to camp, he was a total ass to me and shannon, and i feel like he has this thing against me and doesn't want me back at camp next summer. i know it's really far away, but it just really hurts that i've spent 3 summers there, 2 of them as an area director, and i get treated like crap by someone who never even saw me in my area w/ campers or the scout masters or the webeloes because he was off working a second job at a bank... so he was a part time staff member all summer long to us, and still got paid a shit ton more than i did... like he only saw me at night with staff members, who after spending seven weeks with each other obviously will have problems with each other... but still. patty wasn't there this summer, and i feel like that was definitely one of the contributing factors to all of the drama that happened. just a back story...
i almost quit halfway through camp because people were making my life at camp a living hell, saying i was lazy, that they were looking for a new handicraft director, that i was hated by scout masters and campers and staff members... and a lot of it came from the people who feared patty and her wrath. this summer she wasn't working at camp. so they felt like it was high time i got bashed on and bitched about, even though i did nothing wrong. patty wasn't there to keep the order, and everyone felt like either i should be the next patty or i shouldn't be there at all...
so anyways... the staff was divided in half this summer because people were talking shit about this person, this person didn't like that person, the usual... but i never thought it would ever happen at camp. the two summers before, yes we talked crap about people. yes there was drama. but not to the point where someone wanted to quit because they felt so threatened by other staff members. who puts someone in a situation like that? and then, when i do stand up for myself, it all comes back as zach isn't controlling me enough and i'm too much of a loud mouthed emotional bitch... who says that? i mean i thought working with a bunch of girls was bad but in reality? i have never been in such a dramatic situation as working at BOY SCOUT camp,,, boys causing drama... who would've thought it...
anyways... back to what i was originally saying... it just makes me feel like shit when i have worked there the past 3 years and have always worked my ass off even when injured to get work done, but not once since we left camp was i actually told that there is a job for me there next summer. everyone else has been told that... i haven't... but my situation? do i even want to go back now? do i really want to work with those people again? don't get me wrong. some of the staff i love hanging out with and i love being around. i like my area. i like teaching my campers their merit badges. i like being around the kids and the scout masters and the CITs and that... but am i willing to give up another summer to just go through feeling like i'm not wanted there anymore?
ugh... now i'm in a semi-bad mood...
oh and just so you know, justin campana is a huge tool bag. well actually he's the tool carrying the tool bag with a douche bag attached to it... yeah that is what i think of him... more of that to come later
we worked together at camp. he lives in bridgewater, but goes to school at dean in franklin. a couple of weekends ago, me shannon and jenn b went up to visit him and things went awesome. but then things changed during the week to follow and he was like i'm scared of you getting back together with zach and i don't know what my feelings are blah blah blah... so i was like okay thanks for telling me this AFTER i started to finally get over zach and like someone else... thanks not.... so anyways, i've tried talking to him but he kept avoiding me. so i just let it go. but then this week, he IMs me to tell me that he doesn't hate me. he just has a lot on his plate and he doesn't want to upset me with all the stuff going on and he is afraid of something--- what he never told me grrr... but so i was like honestly i can take it. we've been friends since we met at camp and we're so close and i really like you (not like i want a new relationship, but i do like him as in have a crush on him and stuff...) so then he was like are you going to be at bsc this weekend and i was like no i'm going home why? and he was like well rob (his roommate) and i are going to my house and i was going to stop by bsc with him if you were there... and i was like oh im sorry. i want to see you... so he goes i really want to see you, but im confused... and i was thinking oh great...
why are boys so confusing? like we should be given a manual when we turn 12 or something that breaks guys down for us... that'd be funny lol... but ya i'm confused with him and i just want to be like so um ya, where do we go from here? ugh idk...
and then there is the camp issue...
at the end of the summer we're supposed to get exit interviews either in person or through emails and whatnot. well i never got mine in person so taft (one of my directors) was like anyone who we didn't talk to will be getting an exit interview through email... so a lot of people from camp have gotten either both or one or the other. i got neither... and a bunch of the staff from this past year who i've talked to have been like oh i saw taft or i talked to taft and he said i definitely have a job there next summer... like wtf. when i saw him the weekend we went up to camp, he was a total ass to me and shannon, and i feel like he has this thing against me and doesn't want me back at camp next summer. i know it's really far away, but it just really hurts that i've spent 3 summers there, 2 of them as an area director, and i get treated like crap by someone who never even saw me in my area w/ campers or the scout masters or the webeloes because he was off working a second job at a bank... so he was a part time staff member all summer long to us, and still got paid a shit ton more than i did... like he only saw me at night with staff members, who after spending seven weeks with each other obviously will have problems with each other... but still. patty wasn't there this summer, and i feel like that was definitely one of the contributing factors to all of the drama that happened. just a back story...
i almost quit halfway through camp because people were making my life at camp a living hell, saying i was lazy, that they were looking for a new handicraft director, that i was hated by scout masters and campers and staff members... and a lot of it came from the people who feared patty and her wrath. this summer she wasn't working at camp. so they felt like it was high time i got bashed on and bitched about, even though i did nothing wrong. patty wasn't there to keep the order, and everyone felt like either i should be the next patty or i shouldn't be there at all...
so anyways... the staff was divided in half this summer because people were talking shit about this person, this person didn't like that person, the usual... but i never thought it would ever happen at camp. the two summers before, yes we talked crap about people. yes there was drama. but not to the point where someone wanted to quit because they felt so threatened by other staff members. who puts someone in a situation like that? and then, when i do stand up for myself, it all comes back as zach isn't controlling me enough and i'm too much of a loud mouthed emotional bitch... who says that? i mean i thought working with a bunch of girls was bad but in reality? i have never been in such a dramatic situation as working at BOY SCOUT camp,,, boys causing drama... who would've thought it...
anyways... back to what i was originally saying... it just makes me feel like shit when i have worked there the past 3 years and have always worked my ass off even when injured to get work done, but not once since we left camp was i actually told that there is a job for me there next summer. everyone else has been told that... i haven't... but my situation? do i even want to go back now? do i really want to work with those people again? don't get me wrong. some of the staff i love hanging out with and i love being around. i like my area. i like teaching my campers their merit badges. i like being around the kids and the scout masters and the CITs and that... but am i willing to give up another summer to just go through feeling like i'm not wanted there anymore?
ugh... now i'm in a semi-bad mood...
oh and just so you know, justin campana is a huge tool bag. well actually he's the tool carrying the tool bag with a douche bag attached to it... yeah that is what i think of him... more of that to come later