"Prediction is very difficult, especially of the future"
There is a bottomless pit in my stomach. No! I am not referring to my natural greedy nature that i feel an absence of cheese/biscuits/wine but that nervous sick staring-out-over-a-void type feeling...
oh... so I've been looking different jobs over the last few hours, I'm being terribly stupid optimistic and applying for all my dream jobs in one go (so that they can reject me all at the same time? Nay! Where has my mindless optimism gone?)... and I think sometimes I let mindless enthusiasm carry me off quite far... too far?
...Some of these positions I'm applying for seem terribly grown up and are at very prestigious organisations and very competitive and I'm not sure if I'm about to push my capabilities/experience/expectations a bit too far? Because in all likihood I'll be rejected therefore I'll be a) pissed off and b)have to think all over again about 'What I Want To Do With My Life' (not that I really have to decide such things right now, I'm really just picking a direction and running with it)... but if I was accepted... *squeak* they'd uncover me a giant fraud and realise how buffoon like I really am?
I suppose academia is a wonderfully comfortable place to be and though I work long hours and my phd is effectively a job... i still haven't actually entered 'The Real World'... am i idiotic for just turning down a post-doc here?
Not entirely sure why it's making me so nervous, I should just get on with it, but it is... am applying to jobs in singapore in commonwealth office for science relations, positions for diplomatic service in Foreign Office (maybe could apply in NZ since have dual nationality... hmmmm click click), positions with the UN (worldwide), positions with the WHO and positions with the BBC (so I can escape science and get back to arty things where I began)... and then i'm going to trawl through all the universities in S.East Asia and S.America and see what they have... and then head to the careers dept. in Leeds... and then... and then... ?
*twiddles thumbs*
Soooooooo... hope something exciting comes of it.
oh... so I've been looking different jobs over the last few hours, I'm being terribly stupid optimistic and applying for all my dream jobs in one go (so that they can reject me all at the same time? Nay! Where has my mindless optimism gone?)... and I think sometimes I let mindless enthusiasm carry me off quite far... too far?
...Some of these positions I'm applying for seem terribly grown up and are at very prestigious organisations and very competitive and I'm not sure if I'm about to push my capabilities/experience/expectations a bit too far? Because in all likihood I'll be rejected therefore I'll be a) pissed off and b)have to think all over again about 'What I Want To Do With My Life' (not that I really have to decide such things right now, I'm really just picking a direction and running with it)... but if I was accepted... *squeak* they'd uncover me a giant fraud and realise how buffoon like I really am?
I suppose academia is a wonderfully comfortable place to be and though I work long hours and my phd is effectively a job... i still haven't actually entered 'The Real World'... am i idiotic for just turning down a post-doc here?
Not entirely sure why it's making me so nervous, I should just get on with it, but it is... am applying to jobs in singapore in commonwealth office for science relations, positions for diplomatic service in Foreign Office (maybe could apply in NZ since have dual nationality... hmmmm click click), positions with the UN (worldwide), positions with the WHO and positions with the BBC (so I can escape science and get back to arty things where I began)... and then i'm going to trawl through all the universities in S.East Asia and S.America and see what they have... and then head to the careers dept. in Leeds... and then... and then... ?
*twiddles thumbs*
Soooooooo... hope something exciting comes of it.