(no subject)
I hate being sick. Hate, hate, hate it.
Being sick comes with a cloying sense of pointless melancholy that doesn't easily let go. Sort of like a leech, stuck to some vital yet unreachable surface and just... draining. I start thinking about where I went wrong with my life and all the painful things I've experienced, recently and long ago. Normally I'm a happy, positive person. When I'm sick, it feels like the world is imploding and there's not much I can do about it.
Being sick and being alone while sick is a horrible experience. I revert back to a sad little girl who wants to be coddled, wants to be cuddled, wants to be taken care of. I crave patience and a soft touch. Having to make my own cup of cider and pull a blanket over myself and sit shivering in my own spiritual and physical malaise feels like hell. I end up sinking too deeply into myself and if I'm not careful, I'll end up in tears. And who needs that on top of already swollen sinuses?
With that said, I'm going to curl up on the couch with a blanket and a cup of cider and read some more of Clan of the Cave Bear before I make myself even more miserable.
Being sick comes with a cloying sense of pointless melancholy that doesn't easily let go. Sort of like a leech, stuck to some vital yet unreachable surface and just... draining. I start thinking about where I went wrong with my life and all the painful things I've experienced, recently and long ago. Normally I'm a happy, positive person. When I'm sick, it feels like the world is imploding and there's not much I can do about it.
Being sick and being alone while sick is a horrible experience. I revert back to a sad little girl who wants to be coddled, wants to be cuddled, wants to be taken care of. I crave patience and a soft touch. Having to make my own cup of cider and pull a blanket over myself and sit shivering in my own spiritual and physical malaise feels like hell. I end up sinking too deeply into myself and if I'm not careful, I'll end up in tears. And who needs that on top of already swollen sinuses?
With that said, I'm going to curl up on the couch with a blanket and a cup of cider and read some more of Clan of the Cave Bear before I make myself even more miserable.