Just came to say- goodbye love, goodbye.
Somewhere deep down, I'd hoped I'd be doing better by now. Either -somewhat- over it, or back together. Just my luck to get niether.
But I had people looking after me. Everywhere I go there's at least one girl who takes me under her wing... Cathy and Julia were like bodyguards ever since wednesday- one attached to each arm. Nelli brought me lunch on Friday, and stuck around the rest of the day. We went to patrick henry mall, and had fun avoiding the couples, spouting out random memories, and venting in starbucks. Her mom's been really nice to me... Nelli slept over that night, where we vented and laughed hysterically (well, at least I did) until four. I said something about cake in my sleep. She found my camera. The one I thought had been stolen? It was pretending to be my broken one, sitting at eye-level on my shelf. And guess what I find when I turn it on? The valentines day pictures I never loaded. It was like, couple cam-ho day. And then of our date in new town... the last one. Joy.
The next morning I got up and remembered everything all over again. I'm starting to hate mornings. Then Nelli got up and we took pictures and messed with my cat and went through my skirts. We both wore heels! Then we went to newport-news to visit her grandparents (they're awesome, they reacted the same way they did last time- they liked my hair XD), and then we went to eat Japanese. The chef was funny... And according to the Gillis family, liked me a lot. xp I kind of wanted to go be sick... that would have been hilarious a few weeks ago. Then we went back to her grandparents house and talked to her grandmother, had starbucks, talked more... then they drove me home. Which was reallllly nice of them... from newport-news to new kent? I felt loved.
So I got home, texted Rueben to tell him I wanted to talk... he said he'd call today. Today I went to church, accidentally ended up sitting behind the adorable couple in our teen class, wanted to cry. My mom made me stay for class, where Terence, Katie, and Andrew all got worried because my eyes were red... I'm really tired of attracting attention. I hate having to tell people that reuben and I broke up. Although, I have to admit, if anything good's come of this? It's changed how I look when I cry. My eyes don't go devilishly red and make the green pop out anymore. Now it just looks like I'm wearing pink eyeliner. He never liked how my eyes looked when I cried...
So I went to the library to meet Nelli. We got in timmy's car with timmy and andrew to keep from freezing out buns off...timmy broke the horn. It was funny. ^^ We saw Godspell... which was AMAZING, for any of you who might read this. o.o like, whoas. You sounded awesome. Hardest i'd laughed in a while... And I was in a very good mood for a while after. I saw Fletcher and Katie. And Lindsey. And apparently all three of them might hurt me if I don't go to the MCR concert... *scared face* I went home, got online, saw stuff that made me sad again... My great uncle from California got here. Nice guy. Rueben called while I was talking to him... so I went upstairs to call him back... some stuff got confirmed that I'd hoped there would still be some doubt over. Got even worse than I was the day of. My mom's started getting mad at me for being depressed. She tells me that she understands, but I need to toughen up... She should see me at school. I'm a lot better there than I am anywhere else, believe it or not. My dad's still really comforting. He called my aunt to tell her, and to grab a story or too to make me feel better. Apparently she ad a broken heart at least once a week in high school. She said she met my uncle right after a really bad relationship ended. So who knows. I'm pretty sure that won't quite work for me... I feel nautious (honestly, it's pathetic XD) when ever I try to look at other guys now.
So now I'm up late talking to nelli and nat (see above, don't get any ideas) on aim. I'm feeling a little bit better than I did earlier... I just can't think about it. But then I'll wake up tomoorw morning. I'll have to give reuben the note I wrote him... full of shit I couldn't tell him when we were dating. To make him feel better about the shit he told me. I fail. At life, love, and... life. Heh. And creativity, obviously... I sound so emo. I'm going to bed. I love you... and thank you for existing. Whether you gave me a hug, said stuff on stage that made me laugh, or just existed on myspace so when I scrolled past him I saw your face... you helped.
But I had people looking after me. Everywhere I go there's at least one girl who takes me under her wing... Cathy and Julia were like bodyguards ever since wednesday- one attached to each arm. Nelli brought me lunch on Friday, and stuck around the rest of the day. We went to patrick henry mall, and had fun avoiding the couples, spouting out random memories, and venting in starbucks. Her mom's been really nice to me... Nelli slept over that night, where we vented and laughed hysterically (well, at least I did) until four. I said something about cake in my sleep. She found my camera. The one I thought had been stolen? It was pretending to be my broken one, sitting at eye-level on my shelf. And guess what I find when I turn it on? The valentines day pictures I never loaded. It was like, couple cam-ho day. And then of our date in new town... the last one. Joy.
The next morning I got up and remembered everything all over again. I'm starting to hate mornings. Then Nelli got up and we took pictures and messed with my cat and went through my skirts. We both wore heels! Then we went to newport-news to visit her grandparents (they're awesome, they reacted the same way they did last time- they liked my hair XD), and then we went to eat Japanese. The chef was funny... And according to the Gillis family, liked me a lot. xp I kind of wanted to go be sick... that would have been hilarious a few weeks ago. Then we went back to her grandparents house and talked to her grandmother, had starbucks, talked more... then they drove me home. Which was reallllly nice of them... from newport-news to new kent? I felt loved.
So I got home, texted Rueben to tell him I wanted to talk... he said he'd call today. Today I went to church, accidentally ended up sitting behind the adorable couple in our teen class, wanted to cry. My mom made me stay for class, where Terence, Katie, and Andrew all got worried because my eyes were red... I'm really tired of attracting attention. I hate having to tell people that reuben and I broke up. Although, I have to admit, if anything good's come of this? It's changed how I look when I cry. My eyes don't go devilishly red and make the green pop out anymore. Now it just looks like I'm wearing pink eyeliner. He never liked how my eyes looked when I cried...
So I went to the library to meet Nelli. We got in timmy's car with timmy and andrew to keep from freezing out buns off...timmy broke the horn. It was funny. ^^ We saw Godspell... which was AMAZING, for any of you who might read this. o.o like, whoas. You sounded awesome. Hardest i'd laughed in a while... And I was in a very good mood for a while after. I saw Fletcher and Katie. And Lindsey. And apparently all three of them might hurt me if I don't go to the MCR concert... *scared face* I went home, got online, saw stuff that made me sad again... My great uncle from California got here. Nice guy. Rueben called while I was talking to him... so I went upstairs to call him back... some stuff got confirmed that I'd hoped there would still be some doubt over. Got even worse than I was the day of. My mom's started getting mad at me for being depressed. She tells me that she understands, but I need to toughen up... She should see me at school. I'm a lot better there than I am anywhere else, believe it or not. My dad's still really comforting. He called my aunt to tell her, and to grab a story or too to make me feel better. Apparently she ad a broken heart at least once a week in high school. She said she met my uncle right after a really bad relationship ended. So who knows. I'm pretty sure that won't quite work for me... I feel nautious (honestly, it's pathetic XD) when ever I try to look at other guys now.
So now I'm up late talking to nelli and nat (see above, don't get any ideas) on aim. I'm feeling a little bit better than I did earlier... I just can't think about it. But then I'll wake up tomoorw morning. I'll have to give reuben the note I wrote him... full of shit I couldn't tell him when we were dating. To make him feel better about the shit he told me. I fail. At life, love, and... life. Heh. And creativity, obviously... I sound so emo. I'm going to bed. I love you... and thank you for existing. Whether you gave me a hug, said stuff on stage that made me laugh, or just existed on myspace so when I scrolled past him I saw your face... you helped.