MBV3D ROCKED THE HOUSE!
Or, well . . . it rocked my house.
I'm still squealing over My Bloody Valentine 3D. I saw it on Friday night and managed to refrain from attempting to walk right into the scene to kidnap Jensen.
lucifrix did not need to kick me, or even to shush me, so I must have done a good job of keeping myself under control. It helped that Jensen mostly kept his clothes on . . . though I don't think it would have hurt the plot any to throw in a gratuituous shirtless scene of him.
I love horror movies, so I thought it was awesome! It did a good job, in my opinion, of paying homage to the classic 80s' slasher flicks, while still managing some twists on the genre. I haven't seen many 3D movies, so I'm not sure how the special effects stack up against others, but I got a kick out of everything.
And, although I knew the ending already, it still came as a surprise because of the way things had been going.
OKAY DON'T COME CRYING TO ME BECAUSE YOU CLICKED WITHOUT READING THE WARNING!
ALSO I NEED TO SEE THIS MOVIE AGAIN MY DETAILS ARE A LITTLE MESSED UP BECAUSE IT IS HARD TO TAKE NOTES DURING A MOVIE OKAY?!?!?
Old newspaper clippings, newsreel voiceovers of the horrible murders committed by one of the trapped miners, Harry Warden. Jensen's voice saying something about the cave-in being his fault, he hadn't checked the lines.
Jump to ONE YEAR LATER.
Hospital scene: Obvious coma patient AWAKENS. Victim nurse wanders in and finds empty bed. ( Never mind that someone who'd been in a coma for a year wouldn't BE ABLE TO WALK. Because all his muscles would've wasted away! Duh. ) Let's get to the good part: blood smeared and splashed everywhere. Some of it is arterial spray ( if you watch CSI, you know that! ), some of it just spatter, some of it obviously handprints. A man's bloody upper torso lies prone on a hospital bed. It's been roughly severed at approximately the pelvis. Various dismembered body parts are scattered around the room. Several bodies boast messily opened ribcages, their organs sloppily scooped out and tossed around the room. There's a human heart on a table against the wall.
Two grizzled police veterans look mildly dismayed by the carnage.
Jump to what is obviously a party at the old mine. JENSEN! SQUEEEEEEE! Oh, right . . . his character's name is Tom. Whatever. His date for the party is his girlfriend, Sarah ( Jaime King ). Axel ( Kerr Smith ) brings Irene ( Betsy Rue ), and right away there's a little friction between the two men.
Jensen is obviously distressed by the idea of going into the mine, since the last time he was there was the cave-in, but he mans up and starts to head in after the others. Wait-- forgot the beer in the truck! You go ahead, honey. I'll catch up. We've all heard that one before, haven't we? The others head in, following other kids deeper into the mine.
AND THE SLAUGHTER BEGINS. MWAHAHA!!!
Here's the fun stuff: A pickax struck through the back of a skull impales an eyeball that comes flying towards the viewer in 3D. I thought that was SO FUCKING COOL! lucifrix did not freak, despite having eyeball issues, so it couldn't have been too bad. Then there's the shovel driven through a screaming girl's open mouth, severing the upper two-thirds of her skull. I've seen that in another movie, so I wasn't terribly impressed.
OH NO THE MINER IS GOING TO KILL JENSEN-- I MEAN TOM-- AND HIS FRIENDS ARE JUST GUNNING IT OUT OF THERE WHILE HE WATCHES THEM ABANDON HIM TO CERTAIN DEATH!!!!
Whoops, saved by the local cops. Good job for a couple of old guys.
Skip ahead to PRESENT DAY TEN YEARS LATER.
Jen-- Tom-- is back in town to sell the mine. He stays at a fleabag motel. On his way to his room, his attention is caught by some rather loudly enthusiastic X-rated sounds. And OF COURSE the occupants left their curtains open. Tom glances in, stares for a second, then shakes it off and moves on.
Cut to the interior of the slutty screamer's room. It's Irene! And some loser bald guy WHO HAS BEEN VIDEOTAPING THEIR SEX HOW DARE HE!!! Irene storms out the door chasing him and his camera, stark naked, yelling about getting the tape back. Well, if I have to watch five minutes of some naked chick running around a parking lot, at least her tits are real. That's a refreshing change. UH-OH, HERE COMES OUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD MINER!!! Pickaxe through the skull for Mr. Sleazeball Trucker. Irene gets chased around the motel for a while, and finally hides under the bed in the motel owner's apartment. Miner detours to slaughter the owner ( who happens to be a little person, I dunno if there's a point to that ), and blood gushes all over the ceiling. Irene gets noticed because OF COURSE she gasps in horror. Ultimately, a pickaxe to the gut means her untimely demise. Fortunately, there's no mention of the motel owner's Boston Terrier, or else I would have had ISSUES.
Kerr Smith is now the town sheriff, investigating Irene's murder. He immediately suspects Tom. And whatever passes for plot pretty much stops with I DIDN'T DO IT YES YOU DID NO I DIDN'T YES YOU DID AND I WILL FUCK YOU AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON. Hey, if I end a sentence with *two* prepositions, do they cancel each other out and make it grammatically okay? Huh, probably not. Oh well.
The only person who seems willing to believe in Tom's innocence is his ex-girlfriend, Sarah, who is inconveniently now married to Axel. And Axel, as further proof of his assholeness, is having a steamy affair with one of Sarah's employees.
Tom tries to face his fears of the mine and goes down into it, but the miner is back! He locks Tom in an electical supply cage and then rampages free against the dickhead who tried to beat up Tom the night before at a bar. Dickhead gets a pickaxe through the palm of his hand ( closeup ) before another strike to the head. Tom has to watch while the miner breaks open the chest and removes the heart.
Yummy hospital scene with a semi-shirtless Jensen, getting artistically placed stitches for a small cut on his arm. Axel is determined to prove that Tom is the murderer. Old farts try to prove Harry Warden is dead by showing everyone where they buried the body ten years ago . . . BUT THE BODY IS GONE!!!
More murders! Ben Foley gives Tom some shit for selling the mine. He gets offed in his own foyer!
Now the miner goes after Sarah at work in the supermarket! She and her husband's slutty little mistress are closing the store when the lights go out. Sarah fights back and the two girls barricade themselves in the office. Megan frantically struggles to unlock the window while the miner chops at the door with his pickaxe. She starts to climb out the window, then tries to return when they realize the miner has left off attacking the door. TOO LATE!!! Megan is yanked through the window and disappears. Later, Sarah and Axel find her eviscerated body in the alley behind the store. Her heart's been removed and someone has written in blood on the wall above her "BE MINE 4EVER", which is the same thing she wrote in the Valentine's Day card she gave to Axel. Coincidence?
Later, Axel receives a delivery of a red satin candy heart box. Of course, Megan's heart is inside. * grin *
Now the miner is really after people! At the Palmer's house, the maid is killed and her body stuffed in the running clothes dryer for the deputy to find, well-roasted. Now that's gross. Old farts who killed Harry Warden in the mine get ganked too! A pickaxe through the throat and out the mouth; when the pickaxe is jerked free, it tears away the entire lower jaw and parts of the soft tissue, all of which go flying towards the audience in 3D.
Sarah goes on the run with Tom, believing him when he accuses Axel of being the murderer. Axel calls, though, and gives Sarah evidence that makes her suspect Tom. She manages to crash the car and escapes while Tom is still dazed. Axel told her to run through the woods to the old house his dad owned ( and which he used as a trysting place with Megan ). When Sarah gets there, she finds empty red satin candy boxes and a picture of her and Tom together, leading her to assume that Axel was lying to her and he's really the killer.
After a typical chase through the woods, all three of them end up in the mine where it all started. The boys are at it again, YOU DID IT DID NOT DID TOO DID NOT YOU SHEEPFUCKER!!! Sarah holds a gun on them both. There's no way she could shoot one before being attacked by the other; she has to choose correctly the first time. Axel wants her to shoot them both. Tom starts to freak out because he sees the miner coming . . . he's right behind Sarah!! Why won't she shoot him?
Because she and Axel can't see him, that's why.
And now we find out that it was Tom all along, taking on the personality of Harry Warden. Flashback to all the different scenes that were questionable and the audience sees what was really happening.
Sarah and Axel force Tom to confront his alternate self. Jensen is such an amazing actor that he manages to convey the transition with only his face, not by any changes in posture or voice to indicate the switch, as is most common with MPD villains. Also? GOD THAT WAS FUCKING HOT.
Harry takes over and attacks! Axel is shot in the struggle! Then another shot, and an explosion! This is the clip from the promos, wherein Jensen's body is pushed towards the audience in a 3D wall of flame. Very cool!
Rescue crews get Sarah and an injured Axel out of the mine. Unfortunately, they're not the only ones who survived . . . as one of the rescuers finds out the hard way. One last pickaxe to the skull, and then cut to outside . . . why is one of the rescue crew walking so far ahead of the others? He looks a little bowlegged . . . .
BECAUSE IT'S TOM, THAT'S WHY! MWAHAHA!!!! Or rather, Harry-in-Tom's body. Heh.
Annnnnnnnnnnnd . . . fade to black.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Out of everything, OF COURSE I loved Jensen more than anything. The movie itself was relatively formulaic with a few twists, but that was about what I was expecting. I did feel that the role of Tom was kind of like Dean-after-sensitivity-training, but again, I didn't expect much and so I wasn't disappointed.
I was surprised by just how much I enjoyed hearing Jensen swear. That's always been something that I expected to hear in SPN, but of course we'll never get the f-word on network TV. Yay for movies and uncensored dialogue!!!
lucifrix and I were discussing the treatment of Multiple Personality Disorder in the movie. I thought it was pretty clear that the event that caused the initial schism was watching his friends abandon him in the mine ten years previously. I also think that the event that precipitated the murders was seeing Irene in the motel: add that to the general stress of returning to the town where he was nearly murdered and the death of his father on top of it ( remember, that's why Tom was selling off the mine ), and it's not surprising that a fragile personality would fracture completely.
From what I know of MPD, the older a person is when the first split occurs, the fewer selves he or she develops . . . which makes sense, since the original self would be both more established and also, probably somewhat better equipped for dealing with the traumatic events that often cause the development of MPD in susceptible psyches. So that added a touch of realism to the movie for me. Most mental health professionals, from what I've read, believe that there are varying levels of awareness of the other personalities in sufferers of MPD, but sometimes a single personality is created to manage all the selves. In a case like Tom, whose "Tom" personality was utterly and completely unaware of the existence of the "Harry Warden" personality, there may have been a third, non-dominant personality, whose task it was to be aware of both selves and bridge them as necessary. So in the scene where Tom goes to Harry's grave, digs up his body and tries on his mask, it may have been the third personality who was handling those tasks so that the other two personalities could remain oblivious.
Again, that's just conjecture based on what I've researched in the past. YMMV.
There was other stuff I wanted to say about this, but I think I've squeed myself out for now.
IN CONCLUSION:
OMG MBV3D WHEEEEEEEEE!!!!
AND THE SQUIRREL SAYS: 4.5 NUTS OUT OF 5!!!
I'm still squealing over My Bloody Valentine 3D. I saw it on Friday night and managed to refrain from attempting to walk right into the scene to kidnap Jensen.
lucifrix did not need to kick me, or even to shush me, so I must have done a good job of keeping myself under control. It helped that Jensen mostly kept his clothes on . . . though I don't think it would have hurt the plot any to throw in a gratuituous shirtless scene of him.
I love horror movies, so I thought it was awesome! It did a good job, in my opinion, of paying homage to the classic 80s' slasher flicks, while still managing some twists on the genre. I haven't seen many 3D movies, so I'm not sure how the special effects stack up against others, but I got a kick out of everything.
And, although I knew the ending already, it still came as a surprise because of the way things had been going.
OKAY DON'T COME CRYING TO ME BECAUSE YOU CLICKED WITHOUT READING THE WARNING!
ALSO I NEED TO SEE THIS MOVIE AGAIN MY DETAILS ARE A LITTLE MESSED UP BECAUSE IT IS HARD TO TAKE NOTES DURING A MOVIE OKAY?!?!?
Old newspaper clippings, newsreel voiceovers of the horrible murders committed by one of the trapped miners, Harry Warden. Jensen's voice saying something about the cave-in being his fault, he hadn't checked the lines.
Jump to ONE YEAR LATER.
Hospital scene: Obvious coma patient AWAKENS. Victim nurse wanders in and finds empty bed. ( Never mind that someone who'd been in a coma for a year wouldn't BE ABLE TO WALK. Because all his muscles would've wasted away! Duh. ) Let's get to the good part: blood smeared and splashed everywhere. Some of it is arterial spray ( if you watch CSI, you know that! ), some of it just spatter, some of it obviously handprints. A man's bloody upper torso lies prone on a hospital bed. It's been roughly severed at approximately the pelvis. Various dismembered body parts are scattered around the room. Several bodies boast messily opened ribcages, their organs sloppily scooped out and tossed around the room. There's a human heart on a table against the wall.
Two grizzled police veterans look mildly dismayed by the carnage.
Jump to what is obviously a party at the old mine. JENSEN! SQUEEEEEEE! Oh, right . . . his character's name is Tom. Whatever. His date for the party is his girlfriend, Sarah ( Jaime King ). Axel ( Kerr Smith ) brings Irene ( Betsy Rue ), and right away there's a little friction between the two men.
Jensen is obviously distressed by the idea of going into the mine, since the last time he was there was the cave-in, but he mans up and starts to head in after the others. Wait-- forgot the beer in the truck! You go ahead, honey. I'll catch up. We've all heard that one before, haven't we? The others head in, following other kids deeper into the mine.
AND THE SLAUGHTER BEGINS. MWAHAHA!!!
Here's the fun stuff: A pickax struck through the back of a skull impales an eyeball that comes flying towards the viewer in 3D. I thought that was SO FUCKING COOL! lucifrix did not freak, despite having eyeball issues, so it couldn't have been too bad. Then there's the shovel driven through a screaming girl's open mouth, severing the upper two-thirds of her skull. I've seen that in another movie, so I wasn't terribly impressed.
OH NO THE MINER IS GOING TO KILL JENSEN-- I MEAN TOM-- AND HIS FRIENDS ARE JUST GUNNING IT OUT OF THERE WHILE HE WATCHES THEM ABANDON HIM TO CERTAIN DEATH!!!!
Whoops, saved by the local cops. Good job for a couple of old guys.
Skip ahead to PRESENT DAY TEN YEARS LATER.
Jen-- Tom-- is back in town to sell the mine. He stays at a fleabag motel. On his way to his room, his attention is caught by some rather loudly enthusiastic X-rated sounds. And OF COURSE the occupants left their curtains open. Tom glances in, stares for a second, then shakes it off and moves on.
Cut to the interior of the slutty screamer's room. It's Irene! And some loser bald guy WHO HAS BEEN VIDEOTAPING THEIR SEX HOW DARE HE!!! Irene storms out the door chasing him and his camera, stark naked, yelling about getting the tape back. Well, if I have to watch five minutes of some naked chick running around a parking lot, at least her tits are real. That's a refreshing change. UH-OH, HERE COMES OUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD MINER!!! Pickaxe through the skull for Mr. Sleazeball Trucker. Irene gets chased around the motel for a while, and finally hides under the bed in the motel owner's apartment. Miner detours to slaughter the owner ( who happens to be a little person, I dunno if there's a point to that ), and blood gushes all over the ceiling. Irene gets noticed because OF COURSE she gasps in horror. Ultimately, a pickaxe to the gut means her untimely demise. Fortunately, there's no mention of the motel owner's Boston Terrier, or else I would have had ISSUES.
Kerr Smith is now the town sheriff, investigating Irene's murder. He immediately suspects Tom. And whatever passes for plot pretty much stops with I DIDN'T DO IT YES YOU DID NO I DIDN'T YES YOU DID AND I WILL FUCK YOU AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON. Hey, if I end a sentence with *two* prepositions, do they cancel each other out and make it grammatically okay? Huh, probably not. Oh well.
The only person who seems willing to believe in Tom's innocence is his ex-girlfriend, Sarah, who is inconveniently now married to Axel. And Axel, as further proof of his assholeness, is having a steamy affair with one of Sarah's employees.
Tom tries to face his fears of the mine and goes down into it, but the miner is back! He locks Tom in an electical supply cage and then rampages free against the dickhead who tried to beat up Tom the night before at a bar. Dickhead gets a pickaxe through the palm of his hand ( closeup ) before another strike to the head. Tom has to watch while the miner breaks open the chest and removes the heart.
Yummy hospital scene with a semi-shirtless Jensen, getting artistically placed stitches for a small cut on his arm. Axel is determined to prove that Tom is the murderer. Old farts try to prove Harry Warden is dead by showing everyone where they buried the body ten years ago . . . BUT THE BODY IS GONE!!!
More murders! Ben Foley gives Tom some shit for selling the mine. He gets offed in his own foyer!
Now the miner goes after Sarah at work in the supermarket! She and her husband's slutty little mistress are closing the store when the lights go out. Sarah fights back and the two girls barricade themselves in the office. Megan frantically struggles to unlock the window while the miner chops at the door with his pickaxe. She starts to climb out the window, then tries to return when they realize the miner has left off attacking the door. TOO LATE!!! Megan is yanked through the window and disappears. Later, Sarah and Axel find her eviscerated body in the alley behind the store. Her heart's been removed and someone has written in blood on the wall above her "BE MINE 4EVER", which is the same thing she wrote in the Valentine's Day card she gave to Axel. Coincidence?
Later, Axel receives a delivery of a red satin candy heart box. Of course, Megan's heart is inside. * grin *
Now the miner is really after people! At the Palmer's house, the maid is killed and her body stuffed in the running clothes dryer for the deputy to find, well-roasted. Now that's gross. Old farts who killed Harry Warden in the mine get ganked too! A pickaxe through the throat and out the mouth; when the pickaxe is jerked free, it tears away the entire lower jaw and parts of the soft tissue, all of which go flying towards the audience in 3D.
Sarah goes on the run with Tom, believing him when he accuses Axel of being the murderer. Axel calls, though, and gives Sarah evidence that makes her suspect Tom. She manages to crash the car and escapes while Tom is still dazed. Axel told her to run through the woods to the old house his dad owned ( and which he used as a trysting place with Megan ). When Sarah gets there, she finds empty red satin candy boxes and a picture of her and Tom together, leading her to assume that Axel was lying to her and he's really the killer.
After a typical chase through the woods, all three of them end up in the mine where it all started. The boys are at it again, YOU DID IT DID NOT DID TOO DID NOT YOU SHEEPFUCKER!!! Sarah holds a gun on them both. There's no way she could shoot one before being attacked by the other; she has to choose correctly the first time. Axel wants her to shoot them both. Tom starts to freak out because he sees the miner coming . . . he's right behind Sarah!! Why won't she shoot him?
Because she and Axel can't see him, that's why.
And now we find out that it was Tom all along, taking on the personality of Harry Warden. Flashback to all the different scenes that were questionable and the audience sees what was really happening.
Sarah and Axel force Tom to confront his alternate self. Jensen is such an amazing actor that he manages to convey the transition with only his face, not by any changes in posture or voice to indicate the switch, as is most common with MPD villains. Also? GOD THAT WAS FUCKING HOT.
Harry takes over and attacks! Axel is shot in the struggle! Then another shot, and an explosion! This is the clip from the promos, wherein Jensen's body is pushed towards the audience in a 3D wall of flame. Very cool!
Rescue crews get Sarah and an injured Axel out of the mine. Unfortunately, they're not the only ones who survived . . . as one of the rescuers finds out the hard way. One last pickaxe to the skull, and then cut to outside . . . why is one of the rescue crew walking so far ahead of the others? He looks a little bowlegged . . . .
BECAUSE IT'S TOM, THAT'S WHY! MWAHAHA!!!! Or rather, Harry-in-Tom's body. Heh.
Annnnnnnnnnnnd . . . fade to black.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Out of everything, OF COURSE I loved Jensen more than anything. The movie itself was relatively formulaic with a few twists, but that was about what I was expecting. I did feel that the role of Tom was kind of like Dean-after-sensitivity-training, but again, I didn't expect much and so I wasn't disappointed.
I was surprised by just how much I enjoyed hearing Jensen swear. That's always been something that I expected to hear in SPN, but of course we'll never get the f-word on network TV. Yay for movies and uncensored dialogue!!!
lucifrix and I were discussing the treatment of Multiple Personality Disorder in the movie. I thought it was pretty clear that the event that caused the initial schism was watching his friends abandon him in the mine ten years previously. I also think that the event that precipitated the murders was seeing Irene in the motel: add that to the general stress of returning to the town where he was nearly murdered and the death of his father on top of it ( remember, that's why Tom was selling off the mine ), and it's not surprising that a fragile personality would fracture completely.
From what I know of MPD, the older a person is when the first split occurs, the fewer selves he or she develops . . . which makes sense, since the original self would be both more established and also, probably somewhat better equipped for dealing with the traumatic events that often cause the development of MPD in susceptible psyches. So that added a touch of realism to the movie for me. Most mental health professionals, from what I've read, believe that there are varying levels of awareness of the other personalities in sufferers of MPD, but sometimes a single personality is created to manage all the selves. In a case like Tom, whose "Tom" personality was utterly and completely unaware of the existence of the "Harry Warden" personality, there may have been a third, non-dominant personality, whose task it was to be aware of both selves and bridge them as necessary. So in the scene where Tom goes to Harry's grave, digs up his body and tries on his mask, it may have been the third personality who was handling those tasks so that the other two personalities could remain oblivious.
Again, that's just conjecture based on what I've researched in the past. YMMV.
There was other stuff I wanted to say about this, but I think I've squeed myself out for now.
IN CONCLUSION:
OMG MBV3D WHEEEEEEEEE!!!!
AND THE SQUIRREL SAYS: 4.5 NUTS OUT OF 5!!!