Till Death Do Us Part....
I have never been one of those teens who believe their immortal. I know Satan tries to steal my life and soul with every action and choice I make, and only by Gods grace do I still breath. But even when I am so surely aware of this fact about myself, it seems some humans I have not yet linked such a fact to. The ones I love will always be there to hug and comfort me, even if they are many miles away. But that dream of mine has been shattered.
Over the years I have lost many, both human and animal....but never have I been close to one of the humans who perished. Either I was young or we didn't get along very well, so though the death hurt, it was never a life changing event. The closest to a human related death that changed my life would be Stephan Robert Irwin, and I didn't personally know the guy. My grandfather died too long ago to remember, same with my uncles....and then some other family I simply didn't approve of. So nothing much.
But Dear has left me now. Still full of life, she was stolen by breast cancer. Her origin is with the Studley's, the grandmother to my closest friend...so in turn, she was my own grandmother. Her and I got along better then I do with 99% of my family. It's a depressing fact, but 100% true. Dear was like blood to me and her loss has struck me harder then any human and most animals. The only ones surpassing this state of shock are the deaths of Buggsy, Toots, and Snuggles....But that isn't saying much, because those animals deaths had the knife on my wrist and the pills in my mouth.
Fortunate for my wellbeing, I no longer support murder, which suicide is an act of. The idea plays with my mind, but have not given it serious consideration, because the Lord will punish me for the sin. Not to mention, I have Anthony, Rhonda, Pastor Danny, Becca, Laura, and Megan who have given me support. My mum spits on my depression, but the ones listed above have been nothing but supportive of the saddness. Laura and Pastor Danny even managed to make my laugh in a text message and an email. Such a feat is one I can't ignore.
I'm lucky, this I know. Dear, I miss you, but my life is not yet up.
Over the years I have lost many, both human and animal....but never have I been close to one of the humans who perished. Either I was young or we didn't get along very well, so though the death hurt, it was never a life changing event. The closest to a human related death that changed my life would be Stephan Robert Irwin, and I didn't personally know the guy. My grandfather died too long ago to remember, same with my uncles....and then some other family I simply didn't approve of. So nothing much.
But Dear has left me now. Still full of life, she was stolen by breast cancer. Her origin is with the Studley's, the grandmother to my closest friend...so in turn, she was my own grandmother. Her and I got along better then I do with 99% of my family. It's a depressing fact, but 100% true. Dear was like blood to me and her loss has struck me harder then any human and most animals. The only ones surpassing this state of shock are the deaths of Buggsy, Toots, and Snuggles....But that isn't saying much, because those animals deaths had the knife on my wrist and the pills in my mouth.
Fortunate for my wellbeing, I no longer support murder, which suicide is an act of. The idea plays with my mind, but have not given it serious consideration, because the Lord will punish me for the sin. Not to mention, I have Anthony, Rhonda, Pastor Danny, Becca, Laura, and Megan who have given me support. My mum spits on my depression, but the ones listed above have been nothing but supportive of the saddness. Laura and Pastor Danny even managed to make my laugh in a text message and an email. Such a feat is one I can't ignore.
I'm lucky, this I know. Dear, I miss you, but my life is not yet up.